In one of my capacities as a nightclub worker I end up falling into the role of kink-facilitator a lot (which, if you enjoy seeing people have a good time is pretty hard to beat).
I'm interested in developing our shared vocabulary of consent & talking about that together.
(That's Informed Consent, btw.)
Mainly for sexual contexts it's important to operate on an opt-in basis; ask before we try things.
Broadly, that's Active Consent; saying "yes, I want this" & having room to say "no".
We're going to look at a couple of examples of consent violations pretty soon, so if you don't need that in your life today this is a good time to make an exit.
If that's you, have a great day out there.
Kilroy was here
I mentioned earlier that condom use is a default expectation for a lot of people; that's a pretty solid example of Conditional Consent.
You might be down for penetration but only with a barrier.
I hear there are some scumbags out doing that on purpose & calling it 'stealthing'.
Don't do that.
Makeouts are not Assassin's Creed.
It can be difficult to build momentum in a BDSM scene while talking this way, though.
If you're going to have your mouth full, you can do like the wrestling-team does & use a tap-out convention or another touch based signal.
(There's that opt-out based consent model again.)
This is something you can only begin to approximate if you've got an extremely well constructed & carefully looked after Consent Castle.
The scene is full of people getting off on imaginary scenarios, though.
Blanket Consent (theoretically) means 'do whatever you want'.
In sexual contexts you always have the right to withdraw & refuse, at any moment.
A lot of communities have different ways of asking before physical touch.
A worker is always free to make it clear that they don't want to be touched & just not participate in that way of working, but that's opting-out.
I'm not fully certain what to call either of those models of consent.
I'm looking forward to hearing what you all have to say.
Happy Solstice, everyone.
Ability to consent is based on ability to think clearly & possession of relevant information.
If you're drunk, high, being deceived or otherwise in a state of disadvantage compared to a possible partner, you're looking at Impaired Consent.