Profile picture
Linda Holmes @lindaholmes
, 5 tweets, 1 min read Read on Twitter
One of the problems with the Ellen thing (definitely not the only problem, maybe not even the worst problem) is that it views conflict as inherently bad, and the dissolving of conflict as inherently good.
It prioritizes reconciliation over everything and assumes the goal is *always* a handshake at the end, and because it's the conflict that's bad and not the things that led to it, everyone is equally responsible for making that handshake happen.
And under this worldview, being almost *aggressive* about making reconciliation happen isn't always recognized as the presumptuous and harmful act that it is. People keep conflict in place for a reason: they want distance, or they want something to happen before the handshake.
It's obviously especially true here where she's not a member of the specific community most at issue, but it's always true that when you offer a handshake and suggest other people should do the same, you're on thin ice.
Keeping conflict in place is often the only leverage people without a lot of power have. They withhold their fandom, their money, their attention, their affection, their love -- depending on the relationship. You have to let them decide when and if to even *want* reconciliation.
Missing some Tweet in this thread?
You can try to force a refresh.

Like this thread? Get email updates or save it to PDF!

Subscribe to Linda Holmes
Profile picture

Get real-time email alerts when new unrolls are available from this author!

This content may be removed anytime!

Twitter may remove this content at anytime, convert it as a PDF, save and print for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video

1) Follow Thread Reader App on Twitter so you can easily mention us!

2) Go to a Twitter thread (series of Tweets by the same owner) and mention us with a keyword "unroll" @threadreaderapp unroll

You can practice here first or read more on our help page!

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!


This site is made by just three indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member and get exclusive features!

Premium member ($30.00/year)

Too expensive? Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal Become our Patreon

Thank you for your support!