, 30 tweets, 7 min read Read on Twitter
There is a bagel stuck to the wall of the Noyes Storage building. I’m gonna get to the bottom of this if it’s the last thing I do.
Update: it’s STILL there!!
No bagels on walls today (yet) but there are definitely bagels. 🥯
The harrowing mystery of wallbagel lives on, though. I didn't park near that building today and haven't yet checked if it's still there. I'll try to get over there at some point today!
Day three: it’s. Still. There.
Day four: we remain.
Backgrounder: it appears to be adhered to the wall with a form of cream cheese, which has got to be the toughest cream cheese in show businesses. I've been unable to locate the rest of the bagel. Police have no comment but my FOAA has been submitted to the proper authorities.
Death. Taxes. Wallbagel.
"The sun will rise, the sun will set, and walls will have bagels." - Lou Gorman.

Wallbagel is on at LEAST day five. It's possible it has been there a week, since I first noticed it on Saturday morning **but** I last saw that wall bagel-less way back on the evening of Jan. 2.
Day Six: what remains is more than bagels. 🥯
Live footage from Day Seven.
Planner note: I fear daily updates of wallbagel will be on hiatus until Monday, because wallbagel is located near where I park for work, which isn't super close to my home. HOWEVER, it IS near Trader Joe's, so if I make a TJ's run this weekend there WILL be a wallbagel update.
My seventh straight at work has concluded just as the first day of the seven began: quizzed by a bagel on a wall.
BUT! The plot thickens. There was a smashed, frozen cantaloupe a few feet away. What role could the Money Melon play in this mystery? Stay tuned.
Wallbagel: Saturday edition. (With special guest color commentary.)
In this screen grab of the full sized video, you can see a sign denoting the presence of a surveillance camera (far upper right). I might try to get the Noyes Storage people on the phone to see if there have been any shenanigans.
This strikes me as significant because if someone intentionally tries to dislodge wallbagel, there will be a video record of said misdeed.
(I suspect nothing of the sort. Just a bit of detective work on my part. This is already WAY better than the mid-2000s movie Brick, as modern hard-boiled detective fiction goes. No offense to JGL. That’s all for today; stay tuned.)
Give up the chase for a higher taste, wallbagel is a better way.
(This is Day 10, by the way. Wallbagel has presided for a third the length of the presidency of William Henry Harrison.)
I hadn't thought of this excellent point. Which will crack first: the Beltway gridlock or the cream cheese? Stay tuned ...

Day 11 has dawned and wallbagel is still there. However, there’s nowhere to park over there right now so you’re just gonna have to trust me on this one.
I was beginning to think it was starting to tilt somewhat, suggesting the cream cheese was losing adhering ability (is that a thing?) but I’ve consulted the photographic archive and it’s in exactly the same position it has always been.
In lieu of a visual update of wallbagel, here is a bagel from Big Sky in Monument Square. (My personal bagel consumption has not ticked up or down during this exercise. I’m still a one-per-week guy, for the most part.)
Day 12 (aka The Death Of Wallbagel) working theory.
This bites because today was to be The 12th Day Of Wallbagel. It's nowhere to be found! However, the smashed cantaloupe from last week is STILL there, so it was not the victim of a wholesale cleaning. I suspect it was dislodged by a hungry gull or taken by someone who hates fun.
RIP Wallbagel. The world was never meant for one as carbtastic as you.
Missing some Tweet in this thread?
You can try to force a refresh.

Like this thread? Get email updates or save it to PDF!

Subscribe to Patrick Whittle
Profile picture

Get real-time email alerts when new unrolls are available from this author!

This content may be removed anytime!

Twitter may remove this content at anytime, convert it as a PDF, save and print for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video

1) Follow Thread Reader App on Twitter so you can easily mention us!

2) Go to a Twitter thread (series of Tweets by the same owner) and mention us with a keyword "unroll" @threadreaderapp unroll

You can practice here first or read more on our help page!

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!

This site is made by just three indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member and get exclusive features!

Premium member ($3.00/month or $30.00/year)

Too expensive? Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal Become our Patreon

Thank you for your support!