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Whoever invites me to their wedding next I 100% promise to
(a) wear this dress;
(b) show up during the ceremony LATE and LOUD;
(c) cause an elegant but terrible scene during the reception; and
(d) throw a full glass of red wine on the relative of your choosing during said scene
(a) wear this dress;
(b) show up during the ceremony LATE and LOUD;
(c) cause an elegant but terrible scene during the reception; and
(d) throw a full glass of red wine on the relative of your choosing during said scene
Before you ask, yes there WILL be multiple wig changes and yes I will shout "don't you TOUCH my DIAMONDS, they're on LOAN from GEORGIO"
The great thing about this dress is, you can wear it again to literally any christening to which you weren't invited
I show up at your family reunion, opening a bottle of moet during the three-legged race
DARLINGS, I'm HERE, your long-lost aunt METHUNIA, come give us a kiss! Not a real one, my powder will smudge, who has a coupe glass I can use?
DARLINGS, I'm HERE, your long-lost aunt METHUNIA, come give us a kiss! Not a real one, my powder will smudge, who has a coupe glass I can use?
Oh I'll wear the dress
And I'll bring my own Turkey, and I'll refer to your grandmother as "maMA" the whole time
And I'll bring my own Turkey, and I'll refer to your grandmother as "maMA" the whole time
I won't say anything, I'll just let out one rifle-crack laugh and then flutter my fan in front of my face mysteriously
I am DEFFO available for:
- walking into a church funeral service & posing in the nave
- hissing "what goes around comes around, Katrina" at your coffin (regardless of your actual name)
- whipping off my black lace veil and hucking it into the grave
- walking into a church funeral service & posing in the nave
- hissing "what goes around comes around, Katrina" at your coffin (regardless of your actual name)
- whipping off my black lace veil and hucking it into the grave
