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tim rogers
@108
, 6 tweets, 2 min read Read on Twitter
in the past haters sometimes said stuff that made me feel bad. lately it's just from-reddit word-for-word copy-pasted generalities that objectively do not apply to me. lately dudes CONSTANTLY call me "balding." fyi haters: that is the hilariously least-true insult possible for me
my hair is SO BAD because it grows SO FAST and it will NOT STOP GROWING. it grows so hard and so loud that i absolutely can't do anything about it. i cannot financially keep up with the price of cutting it. i could buzz it, though then i'd have hair bits in my sink 24/7
so i was getting around to thinking, "maybe these dudes have me WILDLY confused with someone else." then today i cracked open youtube because i enjoy replying to My Friendly Commenters, and i saw four guys on THIS video calling my hairstyle a "man-bun."

i'm now certain that all these comments—both saying i'm "balding" or saying i have a "man-bun" are from people who . . . *know* they're scientifically wrong. i'm half tempted to admire that level of joke audacity. i'm 20% tempted to think they're Actual Fans Just Bein' Weird™
though after being an idiot on the internet for a LONG time i know that i'd be wrong to think that. like, there was a comment that said "nice man bun," to which i innocuously replied "have you ever seen a man bun?" he replied back immediately with some vile homicidal hatred. wow!
before you post a reply try taking two seconds to consider whether the person you're talking at (who Doesn't Know You, BTW) can immediately understand what kind of joke you think you're making. if the answer is "maybe not", realize you definitely look Exactly Like A Murderer
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