Discover and read the best of Twitter Threads about #notallmen

Most recents (24)

Yes this is hitting home so much. We don’t know Grace’s details, but how many women have had a man angry that you won’t have sex with them? I ran away from one before he has a chance to get out the taxi and follow me into my hall of residence. He bashed the locked door furiously.
I was lucky that I sobered up enough when we were kicked out the taxi in the wrong place because we didn’t tell the driver where to stop because I was out of it and he didn’t know where I lived. I realised it wasn’t home & told the driver to let me back in and the guy came too.
Then I was alert enough to realise I had a guy with me and didn’t want sex. I am lucky we got back in the taxi. And I pretended I didn’t have money and while the guy paid I ran to the card access swing door and slammed it shut ASAP
Read 12 tweets
Definitely one of the most helpful tweets/threads of 2018: #9ReplyGuys
In fact, @sbarolo 's thread above is so good that I want to translate it into Japanese. I hope you don't mind, Scott?
(The translation is partial and rather loose, but hopefully it'll carry the essence of your ideas.)
Read 22 tweets
I want to talk about this thing.

No not Piers Morgan, I give no shits about him.

I mean this thing of criticizing women’s sensuality and then saying that they should get by on just their talent. Cause we see it everywhere...
And it comes up in a lot of different spaces:…
And it comes up in a lot of different ways:…
Read 29 tweets

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On this episode of trash men exposing themselves:
#notallmen gang is here am I surprised?
Read 36 tweets
I can't imagine how difficult the last month's been for the brave women who've spoken their #MeToo stories & the brave women for whom it's still hard to speak. This is a revolution and it's been a long time coming. But I've been perplexed by the reaction of us men. #Thread
It's been difficult navigating conversations with fellow men over the last month, particularly as someone who's been speaking up on #MeToo& who's known both survivors & (unfortunately) perpetrators, and has been deeply affected by that.
(This won't be preachy, please read ahead)
Yes, there are men who are empathetic and kind; then there are conversations that've revolved around 'Such is life', or 'What can one do'. But many (heated) conversations have alarmingly been about: 'But any man is a target today (#Notallmen)' & for others still, this is gossip.
Read 17 tweets
I love how Natalie Portman breaks through the misogynist abuser code here: "If a man says to you that a woman is crazy or difficult, ask him: 'What bad thing did you do to her?'" (thread) #CrazyDifficultWomen
Let's talk about being #CrazyDifficultWomen! I've been called crazy and difficult by men; I've also been called a bitch, bossy, and "that person" (by someone who couldn't bring himself to call me by name). For doing my job, or caring about standards, or having boundaries, etc.
To put being #CrazyDifficultWomen in context: I've been a guest working in 4 other countries, I've done cross-cultural communication training, I'm Canadian & say sorry compulsively, I care about saving face, I go out of my way to make others feel heard, supported & respected.
Read 19 tweets
I don't think men really understand how different it is to be a woman out in the world and how quickly things can turn dangerous.
When I was living in New Orleans, I was walking home from work one night. It was fall--dark early & foggy.
A man came out of the fog toward me.
He said hi, I said hi.
As he started to pass me, he asked me if I had the time.
I looked at my watch, looked up, he had a gun pointed at me.
He hit me so fast I wasn't able to steel myself.
I fell to the ground.
He said, "I could rape you right now, but I don't have time."
He wanted my money.
I had the grocery money for the entire house (I lived with 3 other people) in my purse.
He took it and disappeared into the fog.
The whole thing was maybe ten minutes, start to finish.
I was shaking so hard I could hardly get up.
My head was bleeding.
Read 20 tweets
It is very, very tough for women to remember accounts of when they were touched inappropriately; a ‘harmless’ hug that looks OK but makes them alone cringe.
I was 8, maybe 9. I was sleeping. My mom was supervising a recording session for her documentary. Felt a man in priestly robes feel up my privates and I woke up. Told her ‘that uncle is bad’. This was in the studio called Santhome Communications that still exists.
Maybe I was 10/11, December Music Festival, ‘respectable mama’ whose name I dont remember kept pinching my thigh throughout a concert.
I heard more gross stories of Sabha secretaries.
In retrospect, a lot of children weren’t safe around some adults.
Read 21 tweets
This is 100% accurate, and if anything that’s underreporting bc lots of people don’t want to say “yes, my husband abandoned me when I got sick.”
(By the way: this thread is a real bummer for sick and disabled people so if your dad or husband went the distance go ahead and say so, it’s not #notallmen-ing, it’s just giving people hope.)
I really do want to know if your dad never left your mom’s bedside, I promise.
Read 4 tweets

Like many women l, I’ve been around a lot of really drunk men in high school, college, and beyond.

There’s only one whose name causes me to go into a cold sweat though.

Talk to women.
Brett Kavanaugh is not being questioned for getting really drunk, a lot—though lying about it a) is dumb b)speaks to character c) is a piece with his other lies. He’s being questioned for the actions he took while very drunk. Actions that most men do not take.
He’s trying out for one of the most powerful jobs in the country. With a lifetime appointment. Why are we even contemplating someone demonstrating—then and now—such low moral character?
Read 6 tweets
Stuff (too many) white liberals/centrists care more about than stopping fascism:

1. Being a @nytimes subscriber.

2. "Bipartisanship"

3. "Civility"

4. Getting along with MAGA relatives

5. NPR

6. Contrarianism

7. "Free speech!"

8. #NotAllMen

9. Bitcoin

10. Superdelegates
11. Bernie

12. Trump voters' feelings

13. How to save the GOP from itself

14. Trade policies

15. Chris Hayes

16. Rachel Maddow

17. Vaccination schedules

18. The DNC
19. "Messaging"

20. What inspires them to vote for someone

21. "Fake News"
Read 13 tweets
At this particular moment, @TheAtlantic dusts off a two year old story to go #NotAllMen.
The scene: a children's hospital cancer ward
The Atlantic's twitter account strides boldly through the doors: "there are actually lots of diseases that have tragic outcomes. Let's talk about *those*"
Read 3 tweets
Thread super relou contre la passivité et l'indifférence générale des gentils hommes :
Comme beaucoup, je n’en peux plus des #notallmen et autres chouineurs anti-féministes, mais au delà de ça, je me sens tout aussi lasse, de manière plus générale, par l’indifférence absolue de la majorité des hommes. Oui, des cools, des hommes décents, des real nice guys, aussi.
Sérieusement, où sont les types qui font réellement quelque chose, qui se remettent en question pas juste pour se faire mousser ou se sentir mieux, mais pour déconstruire le sexisme et les comportements masculins toxiques qu’on a tous internalisés ? Dans le désordre :
Read 23 tweets
99% Männer:
Frauen sind hysterisch, sollen sich nicht so haben, die paar nettgemeinten Klatscher auf'n Po, was zieht'se sich auch so an, wenn'se's Trinkgeld nicht in den Ausschnitt haben will? Vergewaltigt, naja, ob das'ne richtige war, weiß man ja nicht, Aussage geg. Aussage &
Frauen sind ja hysterisch. Immer viel zu emotional, auch wenn'se geil aussehen. Darf man ja ma sagen...antwortet nicht, die hässliche Schlampe? War ja klar, die will ja eh keiner. Zu mehr, als zur Tippse oder zur Saftschubse reicht's doch gar nich' & dann wernse alalong schwanger
1% Männer: grummelt unhörbar.

85% Frauen: (peinliches gekicher) das meint er ja nicht so, war ja nur'n Klaps, tut ja keinem weh. Und is' ja irgendwie'n Kompliment, wahrscheinlich. Jetzt trage ich eben hochgeschlossen und teil mir das Trinkgeld mit den Kollegen. Tränen, ach was,
Read 19 tweets
A lil depressed Gandhi's woefully inadequate response to Dr Ambedkar's Annihilation of Caste was... basically #NotAllBrahmins
Dr Ambedkar's response to Gandhi's garbage reasoning on #NotAllBrahmins will forever be my response to #NotAllMen
Dr Ambedkar's take down of Gandhi's position of Hindu privilege is brilliant. Esp as a response to the #NotAllMen argument when male privilege is pointed out.
Read 3 tweets
Sad that @DietlandAMC is over (hopefully just for this season). Plum (@JoyNash you were spectacular) was such a character for right now, for this angry, fight-back, badass, warrior woman moment.

That percolating revolution-- #MeToo #NotAllMen #YesAllWomen--touched deep.
The writing, the acting, the power, the hypocrisy, the betrayals, the realness--#Dietland/@DietlandAMC felt like such a big slice of Everywoman's life.

It was a refuge and a place to ponder. I know it opened doors for many women. (Mostly I needed the vent for my Trump rage.)
I hadn't thought at all about some of the issues in #Dietland and that embarrasses me as a feminist--that I hadn't thought about space in the world and how some women are taught to hide in ways I never had to or thought to. Those were powerful revelations for many of us.
Read 4 tweets
I've had my 2nd coffee and it's time for another #infosec rant. This one is aimed, with love, at my white male colleagues in this biz. I love that many of us are helping our brothers and sisters build their careers in infosec. But PLEASE be careful with the advice you give out.
Before we white dudes give career advice to others, we have to consider that the tech industry (including #infosec) still has HUGE double standards when it comes to race and gender. Thus, what worked for ME might actually be harmful advice for a woman or for a black man.
One obvious example is: "You don't need a college degree." I'm a college dropout myself - I did 2 yrs of a CS degree before deciding that school wasn't for me. By the time my class graduated, I'd already co-founded @rapid7. Great!
Read 9 tweets
A thread: the responses to Eurydice Dixon's assault and murder that are framed around women's personal responsibility and men's collective innocence contribute to the very factors which lead to violence against women #auspol #EurydiceDixon #YesAllMen…
The most consistent predictors of violence against women are factors associated with gender inequality. These gendered drivers of violence include (i) condoning men's violence, (ii) limiting women's independence, (iii) beliefs in rigid gender roles and (iv) male peer culture
Societies which condone violence through social norms i.e. widely held attitudes experience higher levels of violence against women. People condone violence in a number of ways: by excusing violence, trivialising it or shifting blame from the perpetrator to the victim
Read 25 tweets
I can do this thing.

Ladies, circle up.
As @polotek points out succinctly, sexism and misogyny is what men do to women. Toxic masculinity is what men do to each other. AND women can enforce, perpetuate, encourage and uphold toxic masculinity in many ways.
For all the dudes who showed up to the #ToxicMasculinity thread asking about #toxicfemininity, well I stand by my point that it’s not a term, but it’s only not a term because it hasn’t been properly defined and researched.
Read 30 tweets
A group of men is called a threat
Okay this has too many damn retweets now so I’ve gotta clear up a few things about a tweet I didn’t expect to pop off
1. Men, if a woman in your life retweeted this pls just take a moment to really reflect on the unfortunate reality that she genuinely is frightened of men. If you’re truly a good man then that should upset you and make you want to help fix that!
Read 12 tweets
There's no contradiction.

When I was a kid I knew the difference between blackberries and any other berry you might find in the hedges.

But my partner was told "berries in the hedges can poison you". And despite the exceptions like blackberries, that's true as a general rule.
Similarly, "birds fly" is a general rule, despite the existence of ostriches and penguins.

You can expect to find exceptions to almost any real-life example of a general rule. But that doesn't mean "birds fly" is a lie: given a random bird, it's a safe bet that it flies.
Likewise, men as a whole can exhibit particular behaviour in order to be classified as men. (Even if you think a man is someone with a penis, presumably you can tell who is a man without checking their pants.)

Any statement about that behaviour will implicitly have exceptions.
Read 9 tweets
Hello dudes! Picture this: you’re scrolling through twitter, minding your own business, liking tweets about your favorite sports team or music artist, maybe even a funny meme or an article, and there it is...a tweet asking women about their experiences with being harassed by men.
You feel that little twinge in your chest, a clutch almost. Are they talking about you?! You could keep scrolling but you click on it and see the stories, so many stories being shared. You feel threatened. Small. You need to let them know... it’s time for... Not All Man!
Or maybe you go a different route. Maybe you want them to know that men feel this way too! Maybe you want to be What About Man. Stop right there! Take a deep breath. Don’t be this guy.
Read 53 tweets
Le site @NeoMasculin a signé un magnifique (non) article sur les tatouages et sur "pourquoi c'est pas bien". Vu que c'est un joli ramassis de pensées purement mascu et de grosses conneries, j'ai envie de vous en parler.
Déjà, on apprend qu'une femme qui a pris du poids a "perdu de la valeur sur le marché sexuel". Parce que c'est bien connu, les femmes n'existent dans le regard des hommes que pour être baisées, et les grosses, ça se baise pas. (Je vous met la définition en capture parce que lol)
On apprend aussi que les ne sont pas des personnes raisonnables, parce que les personnes qui sont raisonnables, elles font du sport et un régime, parce que c'est bien connu, ça marche même sur les personnes qui ont des problèmes génétiques ou hormonaux.
Read 25 tweets
I should be finishing my grad school application and writing sample. BUT, I need to write about Aziz Ansari. I'm getting tired of all the apologia, victim-blaming and using ambiguity to try and defend him from what he did. I will get flak for this, but I don't really care.
The point where Ansari should have stopped was this: "When Ansari told her he was going to grab a condom within minutes of their first kiss, Grace voiced her hesitation explicitly. “I said something like, ‘Whoa, let’s relax for a sec, let’s chill.’”

This is it. SHE SAID NO!
This is NOT rocket science. When someone says, " Whoa, let's relax for a sec, let's chill" when you say you want to go grab a condom so you can fuck them, your response must be, "I totally understand. What would you prefer?"

NOT what he did which was to pretend it didn't happen
Read 31 tweets

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