Thread by @MsLeanaLane

I’d like to challenge this thinking. Buckle up, folks.

If a companion hasn’t responded to your inquiry, I promise there is a good reason. This could include, but is not limited to:
- you didn’t adhere to their clearly stated requirements
- you don’t meet an unspoken requirement

https://twitter.com/fisaigne/status/1113213099140702208

- you’ve been rude
- you’ve been polite, but failed to provide the requested info
- you’ve asked a question that is answered on their website/ad
- you don’t seem like a good fit, for reasons vague or specific
- the pro is not available on the date/in the city you request

- you have some sort of record that indicates you’re unsafe to see
- you think you’ve provided necessary screening info, but they still determine you’re not the right fit
- they’re sick/taking a break/dealing with personal issues
- they’re not interested
- they don’t feel like it

- your email went to spam
- your email got buried among more pressing or promising emails in their inbox
- you called or texted from a blocked number
- they don’t have time to answer you
- they’re busy painting their nails or playing with their dog
- they still don’t feel like it

- you’ve asked for a service they don’t provide
- you’ve used language the pro deems explicit, or that otherwise makes them feel unsafe
- you appear to be a time waster or cop
- you did everything right, but they have an inexplicable bad vibe about you
- still don’t feel like it

I could go on (clearly). The point is, any reason is a good reason for a service professional of any sort to not respond to an inquiry. That doesn’t make them cold or unprofessional. On the contrary: It means that they know what they want and you’ve indicated that you‘re not it.

What it DOESN’T mean is that they’re “not treating [you] like a person.” Your humanity is not in question. They’re not disrespecting you or being mean. They’re guarding their time and energy responsibly and doing what works for them. That’s good business and good boundaries.

Of course, it’s very helpful when a companion takes the time to explain why they’ve deemed your inquiry unworthy of a response. But why, exactly, would they provide that information, if you haven’t met whatever requirements they consider necessary to respond in the first place?

Every so often, I will respond to a prospective client to let them know why we won’t be a good fit, particularly if they made an error in contacting me that reflects some sort of ignorance and could be prevented for other providers in the future.

But that is a favor that I choose to do when I’m feeling generous, not something anyone is owed. It is peak entitlement to assume otherwise.

A couple months ago, I had an emergency plumbing issue. I called about half a dozen plumbers and left voicemails for three of them. Another two answered, but we’re not available in my time for him. The last one was available and everything worked out great. I was grateful.

The other three plumbers who had missed my call? They never called me back, for reasons that I don’t know but that I assume has to do with their time, energy, and availability, in combination with the specificity of my request not aligning with what they could provide.

I am not sitting around lamenting that I was not treated like a person by those plumbers, who for whatever reason were not available to meet my request at that time. I simply respect the fact that they are professionals who have their own lives and have businesses to run...

...And that for whatever reason, we were not a fit at that particular time. I do not take it personally in the least.

Any prospective client who does not hear back from a provider will save themselves a lot of stress by adopting a similar attitude and moving onto the next thing.

Correction: time frame*