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@TheUsopIbrahim says we can’t educate rapists so we must teach our daughters how to protect themselves. Don’t trust men who are not related to you. This statement is so ignorant, so let’s “teach” Usop who women can’t trust (unless they’re related to him).
1. Yes, we can teach men not to rape. Most men don’t, won’t and have no inclination to rape. But let’s consider why some men are predisposed to violence and are unable to control their sexual urges.
2. Look at toxic masculinity, where boys from an early age are taught that being strong means being tough, aggressive and not showing their true emotions, such as fear, pain, and most certainly CAN’T CRY.
3. @acalltomen describe the Man Box, where boys and men feel forced to conform to this tough male ideal. See what @TonyPorterACTM @justinbaldoni and @stephenablack have to say - shattering that myth. Men, it’s ok to cry.
4. Let’s move away from toxic masculinity and destructive patriarchal cultures towards one where men don’t just respect and value women, but can show emotions, kindness, compassion to their fellow humans. Yes, I want an end to war and destruction.
5. In Malaysia, some religious teachers perpetuate the myth that women who don’t cover their aurat (including hair) deserve to be raped, likening them to uncovered lollipops attracting flies.
6. We know a woman’s clothing is irrelevant. Many hijabed women shared their stories of sexual harassment/assault with @nowmytaleistold recently.
7. @TheUsopIbrahim says don’t trust men who are not related. UK statistics (CSEW 2017) show 90% of rapists are KNOWN to the woman, 45% being partner/ex, 38% known to them including family (other than partner/ex). So yes, “muhrims” (relations) can and DO rape women and children.
8. While Malaysian law recognises marital rape as a crime, this doesn't apply to Muslims- on the basis that there is no marital rape in Islam (I believe this is flawed). @SiriuslyCold today quoted some ulama who said people cannot refuse sex to their spouses without a reason.
9. Until we acknowledge that modestly clothed women and children are victims of sexual violence, often in their own homes and so called safe spaces (rather than dark alleys), we won’t be able to solve child sexual abuse, domestic violence and sexual violence.
10. Stop with the victim blaming and lay the focus on the people who commit rape, the culture and the environment which perpetuates it. People like @TheUsopIbrahim and some Muslim ulama’s are perpetuating rape culture. Unfortunately many believe them, including women.
