Thread by @QuinnyPig

The #MSBuild keynote kicks off with an ILM exec talking about the moon landing, which means another six weeks of nutters claiming it was faked.

And demo fails. Oof. I bet it would have been awesome. Hugops to #MSBuild tech folks.

Satya Nadella takes the stage. Talks about attending a Microsoft conference in the 90s and deciding to join Microsoft as a result. I get that sentiment. #MSBuild

Good lord. Every word he says is carefully measured and polished. I could spend ten years practicing and still not speak like @satyanadella does on stage. #MSBuild

@satyanadella Talking about Microsoft 365, Microsoft Dynamics 365, Office 365, and completely neglects to mention that they all blow themselves to pieces in a leap year. #MSBuild

@satyanadella "We have more certifications than any public cloud out there." Oh good, I can take tests instead of--wait, he means compliance certifications the cloud passed. Nevermind. #MSBuild

@satyanadella "Azure Data Box Edge" shows their commitment to beating AWS at their own badly named service game! #MSBuild

You’re apparently not a real cloud provider until you have a truly sarcastic number of customer logos on a slide. #MSBuild

Whoa. A @starbucks customer testimonial that doesn't screw up pronouncing any of the Azure service names. FAKE STARBUCKS! Real Starbucks gets everyone's name wrong. #MSBuild

@Starbucks Azure is incredible, why hasn't it won the--

"Azure DevOps, MLops, and Azure Data Box Edge..."

Oh, that's why. #MSBuild

@Starbucks Now talking about @schneiderelec. I have no schneid comments. #MSBuild

@Starbucks @SchneiderElec I'm not entirely clear what Dynamics365 is, which kinda renders this section of the keynote... not as effective as it could otherwise be. #MSBuild

@Starbucks @SchneiderElec Now let's talk about Office 365, an important part of Microsoft Giraffe. #MSBuild

@Starbucks @SchneiderElec Conversational AI is transformative. Alexa and Siri both forget the thing you JUST asked about. Cortana apparently now picks up the flow of the conversation. #MSBuild

@Starbucks @SchneiderElec Although uh... every AI / speech / transcription demo we've seen today was a prepared video.

So to qualify: if it works, that's going to be awesome. If not, it's demoware. #MSBuild

@Starbucks @SchneiderElec "Today we're pleased to announce that Edge supports Internet Explorer built in."

The saddest people in the world will applaud. #MSBuild

@Starbucks @SchneiderElec And @satyanadella returns to the stage to talk about Microsoft Teams, ideally in the form of an apology.

"It's like Slack, Zoom, Sharepoint, and Excel without any of their respective strengths." #MSBuild

@Starbucks @SchneiderElec @satyanadella I wanted to like Teams, but signing up for it and getting it working was the single worst software experience I've had in recent memory. #MSBuild

@Starbucks @SchneiderElec @satyanadella Customized backgrounds, conference room integration... All things Zoom does better. #MSBuild