Thread by @tx_pros

Public Service Announcement on Texas New Genital Picture Law.

Commonly known as the #DickPic Law.

If you send or receive these kinds of pictures, you need to be aware of this new criminal statute.

Thread to follow...../1

Texas recently enacted the #DickPic law to address the problem of men sending unsolicited pictures of their schlongs to women via text, Facebook, Twitter, e-mail, or any other way those dirty dudes could think. Recipients of the pictures were rightfully disgusted/disturbed. /2

In order to address this problem, the legislature passed the #DickPic law. This new law, however, doesn't just cover nude pictures of tan bananas, but also pictures of hoohas. So women, if you like to send pictures of your vajayjay to men (or women), you need to pay attention! /3

The #DickPic law doesn't just prohibit the transmission of naked trouser snakes and fuzzy tacos, but also pictures of people engaged in sexual conduct. What is sexual conduct? It is exactly what you imagine. /4

Sexual conduct under the #DicjkPic law will include pictures of men engaging with Rosie Palm and her Five Sisters as well as women dialing the rotary phone. So no pictures of visiting the safety deposit box or spanking your monkey permitted! /5

Also, you may not send electronically any pictures of people engaged in laying pipe, rolling in the hay, shagging, riding it, getting boned, joining giblets, or taking the skin boat to tuna town. These are strictly prohibited without express consent of the recipient. /6

So to recap on that section of the #DickPic law:

No pictures of naked rumpleforeskins or cookies and no pictures of people partaking in horizontal refreshment.

However, there are also specific parts of the law that apply to men only. So pay attention. /7

Under the TX #DickPick law, men will commit a crime if they send an unsolicited picture of their clothed one-eyed trouser trout in a "discernibly turgid state." What the eff is turgid? The long and short of it is that its a boner. How long or short depends on the sender. /8

So listen up dudes. Don't send an unsolicited picture of your puff the one-eyed dragon to a woman! Not only is disgusting it is against the law and you can be arrested! Just don't do it. /9

And while the Texas #DickPic statute still permits men to send pictures of their womb raiders in a clothed non-turgid state, please don't. No one wants to see an unsolicited picture of your banana hammock or tighty whiteys. /10

Finally, the Texas #DicPic statute makes it illegal to send an unsolicited picture of your weenie or fuzzy clam to your significant other, fiance, or spouse. That's right! You better ask your husband before you send him a picture of you auditioning the finger puppets. /11

So even if you are involved with a significant other, make sure they send you a text message, email, or letter in writing requesting a picture of your sex pistol or punani before you send it! You will need that evidence for the police when they knock on your door. /12 /End

Is this Tweet depicting two people getting some? I sure hope not. If it does, I’m in violation of the #DickPic law. 👮‍♀️ 🥪 👮