Thread by @dr_lovelee

Putting people up on high pedestals is a problem. This is often done becoz of one sided perceptions of individuals, without regard to the fact that humans are inherently flawed.

We form unrealistic expectations from those we “idolize”, thus setting the stage for disappointment.

Nobody is perfect, and the parts about that person that you never thought existed will eventually show.

And when it does, people wanna cry “How could s/he do that (to me)?”. The problem is not the person per say... but your perception of them.

Life is a two sided coin, there’s always a balance. So are people & their characters.

One is never / always something without the opposite of that character trait. If you live life focusing only on one side then you’re being unfair to yourself & those around you.

When you make people out to be “saints”, the disappointment hits hard when the “villain” side of them shows itself, because it will.

And no matter how hard it is to admit it, the inverse is true for those who are always perceived as the villain. They too have a “good side”.

The deviation from the center of balance is the reason for a lot of strife in how we relate to others. And also how we perceive our lives; how we grow & evolve.

If you see/ portray yourself as perfect & never “bad”, you are being dishonest & unnecessarily unfair to urself.

The other side that you’re suppressing will express / is being expressed in other ways. It’s better to accept yourself (& others) as a whole being made of different opposing characters.

This keeps you humble about “the good traits” &makes you more forgiving about the bad traits.

an example:

I was once hurt & angry when I heard certain things about Oprah, becoz I’ve idolized her since I was about 15yrs old.

Her life story is the reason why I overcame my challenges related to being sexually abused as a child.
In my eyes, she was a perfect “role model”.

But she is not a perfect person. & when I saw this other side of her I wanted to cancel her.

I quickly called myself to order. Coz was I now supposed to not like the positive additions to my life from following her shows & master classes & soul sessions? I couldn’t cancel her.

Tiger Woods once “fell from grace” (Becoz we idolized him / maybe he got too pompous & life had to humble him - only he knows).

So I now should no longer refer to him when I’m teaching my kids about the values of hard work & dedication? Is his work ethic now cancelled? No.

Mother Teresa has a bad side, but if you look her up, her name has “saint” next to it. But according to recent news, she’s is not / wasn’t always a saint, we just chose the her one sided. Does thy cancel all the good things she has done for humanity? No.

google.co.za/amp/s/m.huffpo…

The list goes in. You can even hate Donal Trump. But he’s not 100% a villain. (This is hard even for me to admit 🙈).

I got over my childhood ordeal by choosing to acknowledge the good that came out of it. I dunno what kind of person I’d be today if I never went though that.

Everyone has good & bad traits. We don’t have to accept problematic bad traits. &I’m NOT now condoning people doing terrible things. I’m just stating something that’s not always obvious to everyone. Or it’s obvious but a choice is made to see things one sided for our own benefit.

We need to introspect as people &change our narratives when it’s necessary. Being stubborn will get us nowhere.

If you are in a romantic relationship & you know you’re giving your partner grief because they are not living up to your unrealistic idea of them, it’s time to reflect

You probably also need to reflect on the fact that you probably make yourself out to be perfect partner and you’re not. But you’re hanging on to “if only s/he can change 1,2,3” & yet you’re not seeing or accept long that you too should change.

*not seeing or willing to accept that you too should change some things about you, & in turn make your relationship with your person a more pleasant one to be in.

This doesn’t mean there won’t be challenges. Just means the environment in which to navigate your life together will be better.
Stop robbing yourself of a better life & relationships. Acknowledge & accept that you & all people are flawed. & you’ll have less unnecessary drama.😇✨

#Sundayschool is out for me!!

Happy #SoulSunday ♥️🖤♥️✨✨

**please don’t take this out of context to normalize / accept abuse or staying in toxic relationships. This usually applies & works for those relationships that are unpleasant simple due to pettiness.

Just as common sense isn’t equally common, neither is emotional intelligence✌🏽