Profile picture
, 7 tweets, 2 min read
My Authors
Read all threads
As a lifelong Hawkeye fan, I can assure you the first anecdote is 100% lie. The second one, I dunno, 50-50
Help! Help! The violent gang of church lady tourists from Cedar Rapids is farting on us!
That's right USC, best roll up your windows and lock your doors when you drive through the 3-1-9
When an Iowa student sees Olivia Jade at the Holiday Bowl
This is a lie, when we roll into town other fans quake in their boots because they know we are ready to open a can of Lutheran Church Basement Food Fart Fu
L: Iowa fans
R: USC fan description of Iowa fans
THIS... IS... FARTA!
*farts Tommy Trojan into bottomless pit*
Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to force a refresh.

Enjoying this thread?

Keep Current with David Burge

Profile picture

Stay in touch and get notified when new unrolls are available from this author!

Read all threads

This Thread may be Removed Anytime!

Twitter may remove this content at anytime, convert it as a PDF, save and print for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video

1) Follow Thread Reader App on Twitter so you can easily mention us!

2) Go to a Twitter thread (series of Tweets by the same owner) and mention us with a keyword "unroll" @threadreaderapp unroll

You can practice here first or read more on our help page!

More from @iowahawkblog see all

Profile picture
David Burge
@iowahawkblog
L-R: 1956 Dodge Lancer, 1960 Cadillac Sedan DeVille, 1961 Cadillac Coupe DeVille convertible. Go Colt .45s! #DavesCarIDService
1956 Ford Fairlane Sunliner
That would be the immortal Iowa-born custom car builder-painter-pinstriper Dean Jeffries; car is a customized '46-48 Merc with 56 Ford grille insert & seaweed flames; unfortunately I cannot ID the badonkolicious fender candy
Read 23 tweets
Profile picture
David Burge
@iowahawkblog
Go Space Force! Beat SeaLab!
Fireballs vs Stingrays is gonna be LIT
Coach Matt Matic will be dialing up blitzes from Steve Zodiac and the Fireball front 4, but elusive Stingray QB Troy Tempest knows how to scramble out of monster pressure
Read 5 tweets
Profile picture
David Burge
@iowahawkblog
My favorite thing about election night twitter is learning how people voting spells the death of democracy
I would like to point out once again that I never vote, so please take me off your list of democracy murder suspects
my favorite thing about morning-after-election-night twitter is the recriminations and walks of shame
Read 4 tweets

Related threads

Profile picture
JW Mason
@JWMason1
There are three reasons this looks so different from the picture of flat wages and rising productivity that we are used to. First, it's the average wage rather than the median wage. 1/n
Second, it adjusts for inflation using the GDP deflator, which reflects the prices of everything produced in the economy, rather than the CPI or PCE, which reflect the prices of consumption goods. 2/n
Third, it loks at shares of net output rather than gross domestic product. That is, it subtracts depreciation from the capital share. 3/n
Read 18 tweets
Profile picture
J⭕️lli 🌺
@Jolli_Bean
"Connor," Hank says eventually, his voice a low rumble in his chest where Connor is resting his head. He reaches up, carding a hand through Connor's hair. "Come on, baby. Shower."

And that's the third time that night that Connor knows he should go.
It's not the first time someone has offered, but he always cleans up back at the squat. He always wears some other man's sweat on his skin the whole way home, makes himself live with it, with himself.

He should do the same tonight.
And he's trying so hard to get the words off his tongue - "My sister will be worried", "I have to be somewhere early tomorrow", "I don't want to call a cab at three in the morning" - but instead he turns his face into Hank's neck, breathing him in.
Read 364 tweets
Profile picture
IG - Demo_uk
@DemonLomoLatile
The Untold Story Behind #LagosToIbadan

@Damilolaajayi_ ft @Mark_Kotun with #DemoTv

With Jubril making a special appearance 💀💀

THREAD
Dami, aka the last dick bender faked her own abduction last week. Which went viral and threw everyone on twitter in a chaos. #LagosToIbadan
It was gathered that she left home claiming she was going to her IT work station till the sudden news hit her family that she has been “abducted”. But while her Family and friends were praying for her to be found safely. #LagosToIbadan
Read 21 tweets
Profile picture
Bola Ogun
@onebolafun
THREAD: Still in shock. I couchsurfed for a year and went without a car for TWO years (living in LA😱) while making my first short The Water Phoenix. Crowdfunded twice because the first on failed and the second one barely made it but was still not enough to make it...
I did it anyway despite everyone around me saying it was impossible. I made my black mermaid film!! It took a long time but I kept pushing for it.
I’ve shadowed 7 directors, been working on sets for 13 years, I’m an alum for 3 directing programs, have produced a few music videos and my second short Are We Good Parents? premiered @sxsw last year. It was still a challenge just to get a small directing job. I kept pushing...
Read 7 tweets
Profile picture
Subomi
@subomiplumptre
SOME RECENT THOUGHTS ON THE CHURCH | I'm beginning to understand that almost every #socialmedia post (complaint) that begins with "The #Church", actually means, "The Pastor". Part of the problem is the "inversion" of the Christian model.
Instead of physical churches being training grounds that equip saints for the work of the ministry in the world; they've become central expensive bureaucracies where Christians bring their gifts to church. Then, the churches centrally dispense on their behalf, through Pastors.
So, when we say, "Church doesn't do something", we actually mean, "The Pastor doesn't do it", since local churches in Nigeria are "undemocratic" and run by Pastors.
Read 12 tweets
Profile picture
Seth Abramson
@SethAbramson
(THREAD) There are bombshell revelations deeply damaging to Trump in the just-released HPSCI report written by Trump's allies and agents in the House. This thread discusses them via a deep dive into the timeline of events the GOP now seeks to obscure. Hope you'll read and share.
It's now clear that Trump NatSec chief Jeff Sessions received—with Trump—the US intelligence community's August 17, 2016 briefing calling Russia a "threat." 22 days later, Sessions secretly met with the Russian ambassador. No other Armed Services Senator met with Kislyak in 2016.
Sessions' testimony confirms he discussed Ukraine (sanctions) with Kislyak in his secret meeting of September 8, 2016—the one he lied to Congress about. But we didn't know until now that the intelligence community had told him 22 days earlier that Russia was an *active* threat.
Read 96 tweets

Trending hashtags

#DuckTales #ACTUP #KhashoggiMurder #WestWing #UequalsU #Brexit #Church #JusticeIsComing #OnBrand #Rapids #GameofThrones #ChurchTM #day1 #flagthread #LagosToIbadan #RapidsTour #YJweek18 #Istanbul #socialmedia #OPIOIDS_WARS #HIVTesting #Dickpointment #cefalù #TheBeaksThatStoleNavidad #PrEP
Follow Us on Twitter!

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!

This site is made by just three indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3.00/month or $30.00/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Too expensive? Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal Become our Patreon

Thank you for your support!