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Being demiromantic, understanding the differences between platonic and romantic intimacy has been pretty difficult in recent years. I think being on the aromantic spectrum has given me a way to rethink intimacy in general in a way that is comfortable, but increasingly confusing.
I'm also solidly pansexual, so there's a split going on here with me. I can separate sexual feelings when I do sexual acts with friends and keep a healthy platonic relationship. FWBs have ended only bc the person would usually just stop texting.
I have some really close friends that I know I will have for life and others getting close to that. For me, if they asked me to cuddle, to kiss, to have sex, etc cute stuff, I would be able to remain friends and wouldn't necessarily feel a romantic intimacy with them
It takes some second-guessing and reflection for me to really figure out what's going on sometimes, but there's something beautiful to platonic intimacy. I remember seeing this thread of some guy share his bed with his bi friend and did it as an act of courtesy.
That's something I highly admire. Yet, I also feel like there's a "spark" that I definitely know is missing there. I'm polyamorous too, so I don't feel strictly possessive with people (which took a lot of time to figure out over the years to come to terms with and understand)
I definitely feel like that "spark" that happens when you definitely know you're actually crushing on somebody and also that spark you have when maintaining a relationship is something that just can't happen until you really get to know somebody as a demiromantic individual
That's why I identify as demiromantic. It took a lot of trial and tribulation to come to terms with this. Right now, I'm trying to understand if I've shifted on the aromantic spectrum towards being more solidly aromantic (which is fine, but tough to deal with).
Was having to explain this to some friends and just felt maybe airing this out to some of you who are ace/aro could relate or share something too. It also makes for nice reference to not repeat myself to others.

I think I'm finally comfortable to take pride in this!
Found the thread I was referring to as well:
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