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Being demiromantic, understanding the differences between platonic and romantic intimacy has been pretty difficult in recent years. I think being on the aromantic spectrum has given me a way to rethink intimacy in general in a way that is comfortable, but increasingly confusing.
I'm also solidly pansexual, so there's a split going on here with me. I can separate sexual feelings when I do sexual acts with friends and keep a healthy platonic relationship. FWBs have ended only bc the person would usually just stop texting.
I have some really close friends that I know I will have for life and others getting close to that. For me, if they asked me to cuddle, to kiss, to have sex, etc cute stuff, I would be able to remain friends and wouldn't necessarily feel a romantic intimacy with them
It takes some second-guessing and reflection for me to really figure out what's going on sometimes, but there's something beautiful to platonic intimacy. I remember seeing this thread of some guy share his bed with his bi friend and did it as an act of courtesy.
That's something I highly admire. Yet, I also feel like there's a "spark" that I definitely know is missing there. I'm polyamorous too, so I don't feel strictly possessive with people (which took a lot of time to figure out over the years to come to terms with and understand)
I definitely feel like that "spark" that happens when you definitely know you're actually crushing on somebody and also that spark you have when maintaining a relationship is something that just can't happen until you really get to know somebody as a demiromantic individual
That's why I identify as demiromantic. It took a lot of trial and tribulation to come to terms with this. Right now, I'm trying to understand if I've shifted on the aromantic spectrum towards being more solidly aromantic (which is fine, but tough to deal with).
Was having to explain this to some friends and just felt maybe airing this out to some of you who are ace/aro could relate or share something too. It also makes for nice reference to not repeat myself to others.

I think I'm finally comfortable to take pride in this!
Found the thread I was referring to as well:
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💛 reikan 💛
@CriticalReikan
I use escapism not as a coping mechanism, not to distract my mind as a go-to, but I use escapism more like a tool--a conduit of expression. I think the basis of Fantasy & Sci-Fi has its roots in this kind of thought of expressing what could be, not the reality we are running from
I am a domestic abuse victim w/ PTSD, depression, anxiety, & gender dysphoria. Today I find myself having a shit day where all of the above are at their worst. After calming down, I open up a Dungeon Master's Manual and I continue building a world I've been developing.
Being a media critic for years has helped me ponder questions about both concepts of "death of the author" and also finding out what inspires authors. This juxtaposition puts me in a place where I can find some sanity in the chaos of fandoms and communities alike.
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🎄Its Padoru Season 🎄
@CriticalReikan
@critical_kitcat I think there’s some disconnect from everybody here. Disney+ having the “simulcast” model is not respective to a traditional broadcast environment. I do think the instinct you have for stealing hype is there. [1]
@critical_kitcat It seems like a calculated decision to chose to do weekly for Mandalorian and new shows from here on out to over take the discourse online. They know what kind of environment they need to win for long-term hegemony over the streaming market to compete with Netflix and others [2]
@critical_kitcat They‘re counting on their brand name and grip on licensing to force their way into our lives and that market. The choice to do weekly is for maintaining our interests while giving us a value proposition. For most Disney consumers, just having one location to catalog is enough [3]
Read 8 tweets
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🎄Its Padoru Season 🎄
@CriticalReikan
The conventional wisdom that ppl don’t act the same that they do online may be true w/ how we choose to present ourselves in different contexts. But to constantly be told that “Social media stuff isn’t real” is to be told that we don’t carry our biases and prejudices offline.
When I’m constantly told fallaciously that when somebody says a slur online or when some jagoff artist does some white washing and their defenders dismiss your main issues with it as “not a real concern”, that constant dismissal is a politics that impacts us elsewhere
What happens when every day for years we have segments of the population constantly dismiss every claim of racism? We have what’s called normalized prejudice. This impacts other attitudes towards serious stuff that some (not all) dismissive ppl would consider “real issues”
Read 8 tweets

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CSM
@usacsmret
AG William Barr: Left 'Using Every Tool And Maneuver Available To Sabotage' Administration lidblog.com/ag-barr/ via @yidwithlid
@yidwithlid Speaking to the 19th Annual Barbara K. Olson Memorial Lecture at the Federalist Society’s 2019 National Lawyers Convention, Attorney General Barr proclaimed what all Republicans have been thinking from day one.
@yidwithlid The “resistance” is determined to bring down President Trump and every member of his administration by any means necessary, and he includes the courts in his criticism. After reading his entire speech it makes one wish that AG Barr was his first DOJ pick.
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Michael Smith
@Michael_T_Smith
This thread is going to be my #ERC19 tweet-torial with all the best pearls of resuscitation wisdom! @ERC_resus
We opened with a performance from the pop choir of Slovenia! A great way to start the conference and spread a bit of joy!
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The People's Oracle
@PeoplesOracle
I was having some thoughts earlier today about the oft given advice to focus on platonic relationships and not to focus too much on romantic relationships.

This goes in a pile labeled "ways humans rationalize the modern pandemic of loneliness"
Also in that same pile is "I prefer a bond over a title." Misappropriations of the Buddhist concept of nonattachment, "don't have any expectations and don't get attached."
My primary issue with this is the misunderstanding of the function of romantic relationships, and a lack of consideration for the possibility that the purpose of romantic and platonic relationships are different.
Read 22 tweets
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G. Elliott Morris
@gelliottmorris
This graphic from @ForecasterEnten's piece is a really good example of how important it is to be true to the data. He/they should have (A) shown both dimensions of DW-NOMINATE, (B) shown the full scale of the data, and (C) picked all of the comparable candidates.
When you do that, the differences between the groups become much more muddy. I also can't help but think that the rescaling of the liberal range of DW-NOMINATE (just half of the scale) to 0-100 was just done to exacerbate the points they chose before they analyzed the numbers.
Tangentially: Means are important, but in political science we are often more concerned with distributions. That's why we have T-tests, which he could have run to see that these differences aren't significant.
Read 7 tweets
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Ashia ☁️
@AshiaMonet
There is barely anything left for queer POC because queer spaces are dominated by white queers--especially white queers claiming to be advocates for POC while speaking over our voices. And this shows in current diverse/inclusive stories

A thread.
The most widely shared diverse stories generally focus on one or two marginalizations--ethnicity OR queer identity. This means I (and other queer POC) have to choose between a "black" book or a "bisexual" book

The real-life queer POC experience has no choice. I am always both
If I read a cishetallo book about the black experience, I feel isolated because I am bisexual and on the aromantic spectrum.

If I read a book about bisexuality and being on the aromantic spectrum, I feel isolated because I am black
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