Conversations about equity and racism can be challenging and emotionally charged for multiple reasons. When we hear about the experience of others, our impulse is often to react with how their experience relates to us... (a thread)
Did I do something wrong?
Are they judging me?
Do they think I'm racist?
Are they judging me?
Do they think I'm racist?
These are normal reactions. There is nothing inherently wrong with them. Our challenge is to recognize the normal tendency to centre ourselves in these conversations, and actively resist the impulse to react.
If we feel threatened, we go into fear mode and become defensive. If we feel powerless, we tend to react in ways that takes power away from others. These coercive cycles are harmful and often violent. No one wins. Everyone loses.
Listening to someone else's experience does not invalidate our own. If we learn about someone else's experience of vulnerability, that does not erase our own vulnerabilities and fears.
It is possible to understand and validate someone else's perspective while respecting and honouring your own. We are all capable of treating one another with love and dignity. None of us are born with hatred or contempt in our hearts.
The central focus of my own work in this area is to strive for a world where ALL of us are comfortable with being our authentic selves without fear or censure. It is for a world where we ALL feel dignified and elevated. A world where we all rise together.
When we lift each other up we all rise.
When we kick each other down, we all fall.
When we kick each other down, we all fall.
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