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Chris Gray 🇮🇪🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🇪🇺#TYS Profile picture
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28 Jan, 4 tweets, 1 min read
If AstraZeneca did airlines...
Scene: T2 Departures, Heathrow.

AZ: Good Morning, how can I help?
EU: We're booked Business Class on Flight CV19.
AZ: Sorry sir, but Business Class is full - you've been downgraded.
EU: But we paid €330million for our seats in Business Class...
AZ: I'm sorry, but UK booked early and confirmed their seats 3 months ago.
EU: But we paid...!
AZ: Yes sir, but you're only confirming your flights today.
EU: We want our seats! Or a refund!
AZ: I'm sorry sir - we don't do refunds, but I may be able to fit 25% of you in Economy?
EU: But that's outrageous! We want the seats we booked!
AZ: Perhaps if you'd confirmed your booking earlier...?
EU: *fuming* We had a contract...
AZ: Fine print sir, fine print...
UK: Oi Fritz!! We got the whole of Business Class for 65 million quid! Suck it, losers!
EU *consults lawyers* (also wishes centralised booking procedure wasn't so long winded...)

End.

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More from @chriostoir_g

Chris Gray 🇮🇪🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🇪🇺#TYS Profile picture
1 Apr 20
Depressing #COVID19 Thread coming up.

This one is called:
'A Nightingale Sang In Victoria Dock'
Last Sunday, I made it to sixty-five
A decent achievement for sure.
Apart from the cough
And the chills, I'm alive
And ready for twenty years more.
Tuesday, I found I just couldn't breathe
An achievement just grabbing some air.
The cough was so bad
The fever was mad
But I fought it back, fair and square.
Read 9 tweets
Chris Gray 🇮🇪🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🇪🇺#TYS Profile picture
11 Feb 20
Short thread on #GE2020
There will be lots of opinion pieces in the aftermath of a seismic weekend in Irish politics. What does it mean? What happens next? Who will lead the next Dáil?
So I guess we should address those points one by one.
Fianna Fáil and Fine Gael have been able, during the 70s and 80s,to count on 80+% of electoral support between them.
This has been declining steadily, until this weekend, when their joint support amounted to less than 45%.
Change has been coming for a long time, so writing off
the surge in SF support as just another populist protest vote is well wide of the mark. The move to the left is there to see, not only in the rise of Sinn Féin, but also improved performances from the Social Democrats, Sol-PBP, Greens and non-affiliated Independents.
Read 10 tweets
Chris Gray 🇮🇪🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🇪🇺#TYS Profile picture
4 Feb 20
We are
All
The sum of our fears.
Too timid
And we fail to reach our best.
Too brave
And we risk not stopping to smell the roses.
We are
All
The sum of our tears.
Too few drops
And we fail to nourish our hearts
A flood
And we wash ourselves away.
We are
All
The sum of our years.
Too few
And we leave this earth unfulfilled.
Too many
And our jaded psyche flutters away.
Read 5 tweets
Chris Gray 🇮🇪🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🇪🇺#TYS Profile picture
1 Feb 20
#Brexit, at the behest and design of the Tories/Kippers/BxP has become England's very own sectarian divide.
For generations to come, people will be categorised by whether they were 'Pro-Brexit' or 'Pro-EU', although I suspect the tags of Leave and Remain will be hard to shift.
The chances of this suppurating wound in the British psyche being allowed to heal are slim, and it is this, along with whatever consequences of Brexit occur, for which the Tories and Pro-Brexit voters must take responsibility.
I hope the remnants of Remain can come together to form a powerful lobby against this govt., hopefully by the time the next GE comes around. That should be their secondary aim.
Paramount imo, is the forging of community support groups, all singing from the same hymn sheet,
Read 11 tweets
Chris Gray 🇮🇪🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🇪🇺#TYS Profile picture
2 Jan 20
Let's be honest - you wouldn't send your kids to school for 10 years, if you knew that they were going to be taught subjects by reading newspapers and Facebook posts, and not by using educational reference books, guided by a qualified teacher.
And yet supposedly sensible adult humans rely entirely upon tabloids and social media for their knowledge of the world we live in. And Google - which is okay, if you know how to use Google.
Critical analysis of written work seems to have disappeared from society.
As an example, there's a riddle on Twitter for the last couple of days (the 'Name The Fourth Son' riddle) which seems to prove the point.
A cursory glance will probably lead you to the wrong answer.
Reading it properly will give you the obvious correct answer.
Read 9 tweets
Chris Gray 🇮🇪🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🇪🇺#TYS Profile picture
31 Dec 19
So here's the thing:
I'm unbelievably angry & raw at the way #Brexit and #GE2019 went for us pro-EU people.
So angry, I wished all sorts of horror on those who voted for it. "Fuck 'em" I thought - they brought this shit on themselves - they can own it & suffer the consequences.
Then I thought: "Hold on..." because my family and friends would be among those suffering, and I don't want that, even if some of the daft fuckers voted for it.
You don't need to expand that thought much, to realise the number of innocents who would also suffer.
Children, the sick and disabled, #the5million, they don't deserve the hardship that is to come.
It's not about surrender, appeasement, collaboration or any of that shite - it's now about mitigation - helping those who didn't ask for this shitshow and had no say in it.
Read 7 tweets

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