It's been a while since I did one of these long rewrite threads, but this has been inspired by recent events and a certain felon's new ear muff.
So with heartfelt apologies to Don McLean, I give you 'Donald' (Starry, Starry Night)

#Trump Starry, starry night
Fill your Pampers to the brim
Show us that you're really dim
By sticking MaxiPads on to your ear.

Sniper on the Hill
Your fascist pals all want to kill
Democracy and People's Will
With Project '25 across the land

It's a while since I've done one of these threads, so bear with me.
In advance of tomorrow's #DominicCummings extravaganza, I offer you this...

#Cummings #Boris #HerdImmunity Alas, poor Boris! I knew him Goveio: a fellow of unfunny jest, of most racist fancys: he hath borne me on his back a thousand times; and now how abhorred in my imagination it is! My gorge rims at it.

If AstraZeneca did airlines...
Scene: T2 Departures, Heathrow.

AZ: Good Morning, how can I help?
EU: We're booked Business Class on Flight CV19.
AZ: Sorry sir, but Business Class is full - you've been downgraded.
EU: But we paid €330million for our seats in Business Class... AZ: I'm sorry, but UK booked early and confirmed their seats 3 months ago.
EU: But we paid...!
AZ: Yes sir, but you're only confirming your flights today.
EU: We want our seats! Or a refund!
AZ: I'm sorry sir - we don't do refunds, but I may be able to fit 25% of you in Economy?

Depressing #COVID19 Thread coming up.

This one is called:
'A Nightingale Sang In Victoria Dock' Last Sunday, I made it to sixty-five
A decent achievement for sure.
Apart from the cough
And the chills, I'm alive
And ready for twenty years more.

Short thread on #GE2020
There will be lots of opinion pieces in the aftermath of a seismic weekend in Irish politics. What does it mean? What happens next? Who will lead the next Dáil?
So I guess we should address those points one by one. Fianna Fáil and Fine Gael have been able, during the 70s and 80s,to count on 80+% of electoral support between them.
This has been declining steadily, until this weekend, when their joint support amounted to less than 45%.
Change has been coming for a long time, so writing off

We are
All
The sum of our fears.
Too timid
And we fail to reach our best.
Too brave
And we risk not stopping to smell the roses. We are
All
The sum of our tears.
Too few drops
And we fail to nourish our hearts
A flood
And we wash ourselves away.

#Brexit, at the behest and design of the Tories/Kippers/BxP has become England's very own sectarian divide.
For generations to come, people will be categorised by whether they were 'Pro-Brexit' or 'Pro-EU', although I suspect the tags of Leave and Remain will be hard to shift. The chances of this suppurating wound in the British psyche being allowed to heal are slim, and it is this, along with whatever consequences of Brexit occur, for which the Tories and Pro-Brexit voters must take responsibility.

Let's be honest - you wouldn't send your kids to school for 10 years, if you knew that they were going to be taught subjects by reading newspapers and Facebook posts, and not by using educational reference books, guided by a qualified teacher. And yet supposedly sensible adult humans rely entirely upon tabloids and social media for their knowledge of the world we live in. And Google - which is okay, if you know how to use Google.
Critical analysis of written work seems to have disappeared from society.

So here's the thing:
I'm unbelievably angry & raw at the way #Brexit and #GE2019 went for us pro-EU people.
So angry, I wished all sorts of horror on those who voted for it. "Fuck 'em" I thought - they brought this shit on themselves - they can own it & suffer the consequences. Then I thought: "Hold on..." because my family and friends would be among those suffering, and I don't want that, even if some of the daft fuckers voted for it.
You don't need to expand that thought much, to realise the number of innocents who would also suffer.

It's not just that successive UK govts haven't understood what the EU is, why it was created and how it works - it's that they don't WANT and have never WANTED to know. Similarly, when pro-EU entities were putting their case during the GE campaign, they assumed offering facts, logic & reasoned argument to Leave voters would educate and inform them, failing completely to understand that many of those people didn't WANT to be educated or informed.

MY 2020 DIARY - by ALEXANDER BORIS DE PFEFFEL JOHNSON, aged 14 and a half.

JANUARY. BREXIT! Yay!! 😊🇬🇧

FEBRUARY. Tell the plebs how great Brexit is. Yay!

MARCH. Tell new Bank of England guy to make sure enough cash (& Brexit 50pees) is pumped into economy to hold it up Yay! APRIL. End of Tax Year. make sure all profits from currency speculation are well hidden offshore. Yay!

MAY. Formally remove UK from Human Rights Charter. Yay!

JUNE. Queenie's Birthday Honours List:
Farage✅ Shilton✅Tommeh✅Bercow? Fuck no!!❌Yay!

#GE2019 #TacticalVoting
If you think the last decade of Tory rule has been great - 14 million living in poverty, of which 4 million are children, mass use of foodbanks, the stealth sale of NHS contracts, the massive erosion of the UK's standing in the world, supplication to the far right headbangers, the hideous and frequently fatal Universal Credit algorithm, the destruction of the pillars of the legal system, the crumbling, underfunded education system, decimation of numbers nurses, doctors and GPs, the tax avoidance and financial

Saw a comment earlier and it's inspired another monster plagiarism thread - this time about Brexit and a fucked up Xmas. Buckle up kids...
#BrexitDay

With apologies to Jem Finer, Shane MacGowan and the beautiful Kirsty McColl, this is 'BJ's Song (A Fairytale of Brexit)' Twas Brexit Eve babe
In the drunk tank
A young man said to me
They took my future.
And then he sang a song
An ode to joy, or two
I turned my face away
And dreamed about EU.

#Brexit #Remain
THREAD/
You shouldn't really tweet when you're angry, so I'm going to have to be careful how I phrase this tweet, because at the moment I am very, very angry.

The Remain movement has within it the drive, imagination & purpose to come together & defeat Brexit. Yet it seems incapable of doing so, for reasons I can't fully fathom. All Remainers are agreed on one thing - that Brexit is bad and should be stopped. For reasons known only to themselves, they can't agree on the best method of achieving this goal.

#Brexit #Boris

Okay, with apologies to Tennyson, I've scribbled this very quickly, so some of it might not make much sense.
Here goes anyway:

THE CHARGE OF THE
LEAVE BRIGADE. Half a brain, half a brain,
Half a brain ERG-ward
All in the valley of Debt
Rode the Boris Blunderers.
"Forward! The Leave Brigade,
Charge for the Huns!" he said.
Into the valley of Debt
Rode the Boris Blunderers.

I was going to tag a few people into this thread, who I knew were discussing the subject matter, but I've decided not to & let's just see where it goes.
I just want to make a few observations about the upcoming EP elections & the Remain 'strategy'. But first - #Brexit and #Trump. There are distinct parallels between how the Trump and Brexit campaigns were co-ordinated. The one I want to focus on is the ability of both campaigns to successfully unite their core support (both roughly 37% of the electorate) under a single issue.
That issue is Nationalism.