Thread by @mynamesnotgordy

What I learnt on the Twitter this week:

1. The key to Ontario's economic recovery is hair salons in Vaughan.
2. The key to Alberta's economic recovery is lowering wages and cutting jobs, not taking money out of people's pockets with a sales tax.

3. Ontario set vaccination records this week while having no vaccines in the freezers because of Trudeau
4. Federal Conservatives outraged about all the money Trudeau spending on Canada and provincial Conservatives demand Trudeau send more money. That's it. That's the funny part.

5. In February, Conservatives demand the Feds deliver vaccines. In March they demand the Feds deliver the Kielburgers. CPC insiders say in April they'll be demanding Trudeau cancel The Beachcombers.
6. Conservatives outraged Dr Seuss is being cancelled and demand CBC be closed.

7. Weeks after Ontario's Ministers of Health and LTCs testify Ontario Premier willfully ignored medical and science experts recommendations, Doug Ford still rides high in the polls. Proving the entire Niagara Region is in fact comprised solely of members of the Oosterhoff clan.

8. Ford government hires Toronto's former police chief to consult on redesign of Ontario Place. Ford says Saunders' $172K salary is money well spent since Saunders once rode the waterslide at OP's Kid's Village.
9. All regions in Ontario move into a different colour this week.

10. People in their 80's line up in -10 degree cold for hours waiting for first shot. Hillier calls it "logistical hiccup." Ford blames Trudeau for weather.
11. Johnson & Johnson develop stable, one-shot vaccine. Poilievre outraged Margaret Trudeau travelled to Europe that time.

12. Tyler Shandro says gyms to only allow activities not provoking heavy breathing. Thousands of Kenney supporters outraged, saying that's the only way they know how to breathe.
13. AB government raises park camping prices. Kenney says Outdoors has to pay its fair share too.

14. Manitoba Premier says Trudeau was really mean to him. Conservatives demand Trudeau explain why he hates Salsbury House and wedding socials at the Legion so much.
15. Doug Ford reverses protections MZO's were supposed to offer but never did and renames Greenbelt to Donorbelt.

16. Toronto to move from Lockdown to Grey. Millions of Torontonians change from Club Monaco black sweats to Banana Republic black leisure sportwear pant.
17. John Tory says city thinking about vaccinating 24/7. Says decision will depend on condo development road closure schedule.

18. O'Toole encourages Conservatives to stop paying to read "the leftist Toronto Star" because CPC memes are totally free and just as informative.
19. Globe & Mail publishes article comparing weekends watching Netflix to Anne Frank's experience. That's it. That's the funny part.

20. UPC announces plan to close libraries to save taxpayers $1.2M. Kenney to make announcement from marble-floored front lobby of $30M-a-year O&G War Room.
21. Hillier says doctors know their role in vaccination plan. Doctors say they don't. Doug Ford says teachers are to blame.

22. My Pops waited in line for 2.5 hours to get his first shot this week. Which is good news. Except for Doug Ford's "well-oiled machine!"
23. Lecce says he's grateful for everyone's collaboration and input. Proving he has no idea what collaboration and input actually means.

24. We're a couple weeks away from being a full year into this pandemicking thing. That's 8760 hours. According to Malcom Gladwell's thesis, another 240 hours and we should be experts at sweat pants and Zoom meetings.
Probably need another year to master home haircuts though.

25. It's supposed to reach 14 degrees here on Tuesday.

Vaccinations are happening. Spring will soon be springing.

We're gettin' there. We really are.

So here's a happy summer song from that Hootie dude. (No, this is not the new Doug Ford campaign ad)