Thread by @mynamesnotgordy

What I learnt on the Twitter this week:

1. Federal Conservatives say climate change doesn't exist, while Conservatives in Alberta say Bigfoot is definitely real.
2. Doug Ford announces on Friday Ontario is vaccinating Ontarians at record rates with no vaccines from the Feds.

3. Doug Ford officially launches Ontario's third wave of the pandemic by visiting local donut shop and pizzeria.
4. Doug Ford says his government hasn't enacted any MZOs municipalities haven't asked for except that first one in Toronto people have found out about so far.

5. At the CPC's annual convention Erin O'Toole promises to accomplish a lot of stuff if elected Prime Minister except providing any details how.
6. Pierre Poilievre tweets that Canadians should have the freedom to drink on patios but only if they wear O&G hoodies and are smug.

7. Ford government says it can't speed up vaccinations because it may have to slow them down at some point and that's not the way business works. That's it. That's the funny part.
8. Stephen Lecce continues to leverage Zoom technology to showcase his uselessness across Ontario.

9. Doug Ford announces new pandemic measures education program involving daily updates regarding Cody the Coyote's current whereabouts.
10. Gen Hillier set to leave role in a week. Doug says he'd like to keep him on board but will appoint someone else to guard 300K unused doses.

11. Toronto Sun's Brian Lilley writes people who specialize in things like science and medicine are just like everyone else, but with specializations in science and medicine. That's it. That's the funny part.
12. Toronto Sun announces it's now anti-science. No one notices change.

13. Speaking to his prolife QAnon group, Sam Oosterhoff says key to effective public service is kindness. Except if opposition are grey-haired librarians. Them you taser.
14. Oosterhoff says saving unborn lives and homeschooling them is the only way he can continue to be elected.

15. Asked about MPP Oosterhoff speaking at QAnon-following prolife event, Doug Ford says he can't tell his MPPs what to think except those four MPPs he tossed out of caucus for saying stuff Doug didn't like.
16. Doug Ford releases new CoVEDD gardening video. No one knows why.

17. Recent polls show the Trudeau Liberals now more popular in Alberta than the UCP. Kenney voices outrage, saying, "It's high time the Laurentian elite in Ottawa provide the UCP with our fair share of the popularity!"
18. Jason Kenney outraged by Bigfoot cartoon. No, seriously.

19. CPC's Comms tweets "The Trudeau Liberals are more concerned about Canadians keeping their jobs than the Trudeau Liberals are about keeping their own jobs." I have nothing to add to this. I can't possibly make this funnier.
20. Andrew Scheer mans merch table at CPC convention.

21. CPC MP Cheryl Gallant selected to represent Pembroke riding again. At this weekend's CPC convention, Gallant to introduce motion for CPC to declare the party is officially against Trudeau eating anymore babies.
22. Erin O'Toole says he's a leader. No one's sure of what yet.

23. In his address at the CPC convention, Erin O'Toole says the CPC must change if they want Canadians to vote for them. CPC delegates vote to continue moving forward to the 1950's.
24. After CPC delegates ignore O'Toole's speech, Erin says it's time Trudeau got tough on China.

25. US commits to loaning Canada 1.5M vaccine doses. Doug Ford says he arranged this by poking Biden daily on Facebook for the past six months.
26. Dr. Williams says Ontario headed into third wave of pandemic. Ford says young people now getting sick too, opens up indoor dining.

27. Live video stream from the CPC convention:

28. Spring's here. Sure, we're likely headed into our third wave. But what's better than waving at robins from your livingroom window in April?
29. Doug will keep bungling vaccinations.

But they're coming.

This time last year this all seemed impossible.