Thread by @mynamesnotgordy

Some changes in my bEhAviOuR after a year of emergency braking:

1. I name stuff. Everything really. The birds in the yard. My shirts. I even have six giant ferns named David, Alexa, Johnny, Moira, Stevie and Twy.

2. I worked from home for 10 years before all this started. So buddies often Facetime me to ask how I coped working solo all those years. First thing I tell them is to please put some clothes on.

3. I was never big on wearing socks. Now that's evolved to not being big on wearing pants. Suffice it to say the manager at the Foodland in town is not a fan of my life choices.

4. I've been in the physical presence of one friend in a year. And it was my ex. She's lovely. But also a psychologist. So that visit involved a lot of her asking "So why do you think you can't eat a sandwich without first introducing yourself to it first?"

5. Sometimes I catch myself just staring out the front window. For an hour. Just drift off, without a care in the world. Gazing out at the tree line across the road. Like I'm asleep, but awake. Then I snap out of it when someone on the Zoom meeting says "You're frozen again!"

6. During the pandemic I've replaced a lot of stuff I'd put off replacing for years. New bed. New sofa. New office chair. Name tags for the plants. You know, the usual creature comforts.

7. I've taken to using animated gifs to respond to email from clients. Most of them think it's delightful. One of them's not such a fan though. When they asked me this week to stop doing it I offered a delightfully pithy reply.

8. I've taught myself a bunch of new stuff over the past year. A couple of new recipes. How to juggle. Some new Chris Stapleton songs on the guitar. How to use butter as a substitute hair product.

9. Through the past year I've watched a bunch of series on TV I probably would never have tried watching under other circumstances. I should have trusted my pre-pandemic instincts. The Wiggles really lacked the depth I usually gravitate toward in my cinema.

10. I've resorted to using language to feel closer to friends and family. My female friends are very understanding and don't say anything when I call them sweetie or hun. My male friends aren't huge fans of dude or broseph, but tolerate it. Steve the Neighbour hates "Bae" though.

11. I used to mark the change of seasons by moving winter clothes over into the guestroom closet and bringing my summer stuff into the bedroom closet. Now I just take off my toque and put on a ball cap.

12. I've always been pretty okay with spending lots of time in my own company. I like my friends and all, but my brain is mostly a solitary creature. But lately, it's been really been nagging me to get it a puppy.

13. I spend a lot of time finding interesting new ways of doing things around the house. Folding a t-shirt without wrinkling. Making grilled cheese on the truck engine. Reversing the motor on the central vac so it shoots ping-pong balls. I think the puppy will like that last one.

14. A few months back I discovered there's a racoon who always visits my back deck at 3:30 AM. So I started to train it to do stuff. He's really good at running the agility course but his shake a paw still needs work. We'll work on that more after I get the stitches removed.

15. Started listening to New Country music. My friends were and are alarmed. When they ask "why?!" I explain that I find even sad Country songs have an upbeat vibe. Which is nice in these trying times. Also, I'm preparing for when my new dog runs away and my truck breaks down.

16. Did a Zoom doctor's appointment a few weeks back. First time I've done a virtual doctors appointment. My new doctor doesn't seem to appreciate my sense of humour though. Ten minutes into the Zoom meeting they insisted I stop turning my head and coughing.

17. For Easter dinner I've planned a truly lovely seven-course meal. Starting with some locally-grown Cheetoz as an entrée, before moving onto a delightful amuse-bouche I call Hickory Sticks; the main, an age-old family Sloppy Joe recipe, will be paired with a delightful Radler.

18. I've always liked tinkering. Now, with all this free time, my dishwasher will peel tar off a shoe, my lawn edger will slice through the neighbour's fence, and I can swap out four car wheels in under two minutes. My neighbour's told me to stop messing with his car though.

19. I've always been a pretty tidy guy, but I fear I may have crossed a line when I buffed and polished the furnace and then went over to my buddy's wood lot and straightened all the sap buckets.

20. After a year of this, I can do another month of lockdown/shutdown/slowdown/emergency brake/health measures/downsized HomeSensing standing on my head. I'm just going to Live, Laugh, Love with my plants and dream about late-summer road trips.