Thread by @mynamesnotgordy

What I learnt on the Twitter this week:

1. Doug Ford pulls the pandemic "Emergency Brake" in Ontario. Churchgoers now limited to 20% capacity at the pool and spa store before they head off to the golf course.
2. Jason Kenney locks down Alberta by insisting "C'mon guys! Please?"

3. Erin O'Toole tweets video saying he's concerned about climate change because he's Conservative. Video cut short just before CPC votes against climate.
4. O'Toole says he's talking about spring election because he knows Trudeau's planning one because O'Toole is so low in polls.

5. Michelle Rempel pens Sun article insisting Canada open up during worst surge of pandemic. Rempel says people should be able to buy new 'Live, Love, Shoot Stuff with AR-15' throw pillows from GunSense.
6. Oil & Gas thank Poilievre for his ongoing support by buying hair product.

7. Stephen Lecce says MarPril school break still a go moments before Doug says decisions like that can't be made that far ahead. That's it. That's the funny part.
8. Christine Elliott says people need to calm down - there's plenty of room in Ontario's ICU parking lot tents.

9. Kenney government releases new public school curriculum. Matt Wolf insists the 15% copied from Wikipedia far below UCP's usual logo plagiarism threshold.
10. Alberta's Minister of Justice releases video singing praises of UCP's new school curriculum by spelling Edmonton wrong.

11. Alberta students will now learn about Kenney's grandfather, baby jesus, not dinosaurs, and Stephen Harper's preferred hair products.
12. UCP Minister of Education Adriana LaGrange announces Alberta students will learn coding through use of Mime and interpretive dance.

13. After grueling 8-hour meeting Doug Ford's entire cabinet figures out how to tweet misinformation that includes an image.
14. Federal government tweets words of support for provincial premiers. Doug Ford outraged - says Feds promised they'd tweet message 15 minutes sooner.

15. Former Ford MPP Randy Hillier says his thirst for seeking truth and knowledge first appeared during his four years in Grade 11.
16. Rick Hillier leaves post as vaccination czar as vaccines flood in. Doug Ford says he's not worried - because "Cody was taking corpeous notes."

17. Doug Ford says reports of his connection with developers behind new highway build are false and people should read Brian Lilley's article for 1000% proof.
18. Doug Ford says provincial shutdown based on what he witnessed as he drove around. That's it. That's the funny part.

19. Doug Ford does press conference in front of Niagara Falls to announce investment in tourism and unveil Doug's new Commander Pandemic clothing line.
20. Christine Elliott gets AZ vaccination. People report she appeared sluggish and confused before the shot too though.

21. Doug Ford announces new science-based unit of measure for vaccines. Says "a whole whack of doses" is more than a boatload and less than eleventy bajillion.
22. Stephen Lecce announces he'll be sextupling layers of safety and Kleenex at schools in December for September start.

23. Fully-vaccinated seniors in Ontario LTCs not allowed to go outside on front lawn because Doug's afraid they could donate to NDP and Liberals while out.
24. Stephen Lecce says school's were the safest place for kids three weeks ago but not in April when classes can be outside.

25. It's a bit of pandemic sh*t storm out there, I know. But - unlike in the first two waves - people are getting vaccinated now. Slow and steady will win this final leg of the race. Be smart. Be kind. Go for a walk. Stay safe. Stop voting Conservative.