Thread by @atatimelikethis

The illustrated #Johnson timeline: Northern Ireland.

Or the depraved timeline of mendacious political deceit.

Both are accurate.

And while certainly, I have nothing but contempt, I believe the timeline to follow is verifiably factual

2015 - 2021 #Johnson's Ulster Lies in full

#Johnson on Northern Ireland

2015. Leaving the EU would be a crazy decision for our Economy.
'16. Brexit is not about leaving the single market or customs union
'16. Leaving the SMCU is incompatible with maintaining the UK
'16. We will not leave the SMCU⏬

'17 We voted to leave the Customs Union and Single Market and all EU institutions.
'17 There's no need for a border; there isn't one now.
'17 We need a border between NI and Ireland
'17 The border obviously will be down the Irish Sea
'17 No borders, technology instead

'18 Land border 🔀 Sea Border
🔀 No border
Interchangeably depending on the audience
'18 We'll find a technology solution, and there will be a backstop in case we can't
'18 Jul (resigns) this backstop is ridiculous, and I can't be part of a Government agreeing to it,

'18 Jul - '19 Jul
(The Trump Years)
Mrs May's Deal is the worst in history, a surrender of our sovereignty. No British Prime minister could accept a deal that split the country like this.

'19 (on becoming PM).
We've agreed on a great deal
(May, but worse, splits country)

'19 We've eliminated the backstop
(we hid it and split it up because we still have no solution to Northern Ireland due to the impossible to resolve red lines we inserted that no one voted for)

'19 Dont worry, Northern Ireland, you're going to have it good. Riches will be yours

'19 Here's how.
The rest of the UK will leave the SMCU because you see it's a disaster crippling our trade and growth.

But as one of the most deprived regions in the UK needing trade and growth, you'll stay in, getting the BEST OF BOTH worlds
❣️❤️💔💜💙💚💛☮️
How's that?

'19 Import controls?
Checks?
More cost?
Administrative disaster?

Noooooooo poor child. There'll be none of that at all. Don't you worry yourselves.

And I'm certain of that no matter how many inter border experts tell me, I'm entirely wrong.

When have I ever been wrong?

'19-20

Brexit is done, nothing more to worry about. Resolved.
#OvenBaked

Plus, it's #Covid19 time.

(On pending soon to be border chaos)
Except for one thing. A new plan.
Because we got Brexit done, we now need to break international law

It's all the EU's fault, of course.

'20 we've resolved everything in the final deal, Northern Ireland is sure to benefit

I'm so sure we've ironed out the details that I haven't bothered to read the final #Brexit agreement.

TBH Maggie made this all too much work, I even found time to work on a book.
Brexit's done!

'20-'21

Our ports are in chaos. Food is literally piling up and rotting.

Food exports are down 75-80% and I can't go near the sea for fear of being lynched by fisher(wo)men

Luckily all the press is owned by our friends, and #Covid19 is a great distraction.

It'll be fine.

'21 NOW

Apparently trying to cover up something that affects millions of people doesn't mean it goes away.

Time to blame the people of Northern Ireland for their ridiculous and inevitable return to violence.

Those barbarians!

If only they were as principled as me.
⏬⏬⏬