Thread by @mynamesnotgordy

What I learnt on the Twitter this week:

1. After a gruelling week of working his back off 24/7 Doug Ford closes golf courses and ban strippers from construction sites.
2. Ford government says science says Covid spreads rapidly in community playgrounds but not school playgrounds.

3. Doug Ford unveils his new Viradar™. Ford says the Ontario-made Viradar™ helps him detect co-vedd in playgrounds as he drives by.
4. Doug announces in Friday's presser "logging is essential work because that's where the aspirins come from."
5. Doug's disappointed in not Doug.

6. Friday Doug says playgrounds aren't safe. Saturday Doug announces children won't be tazed by OPP for using swings.
7. Sunday Lecce says schools are safe. Monday Doug says schools aren't safe. Tuesday Lecce says closing schools was part of the plan he never had until tomorrow.

8. Solicitor General Sylvia Jones says in interview "People are dying because they're not wearing masks and that's ridiculous." For the first time ever Jones is correct. Her statement was ridiculous.
9. Large anti-mask protest not shut down by Solicitor General yesterday.

10. Vax doses for London-Middlesex hotspot cancelled based on month-old data, rerouted to Fullerton's Kanata riding based on four-month-old data. That's it. That's the funny part.
11. Ontario Covid ICU patients to be transferred to LTCs and Mike Harris moved to larger cottage.

12. UCP spokesperson says Kenney's repeated references to non-existent kids' birthday party "super-spreader event" in Athabasca was only an analogy used to demonstrate how Kenney is still pretty upset about never being invited to birthday parties as a kid.

13. Kenney clamps down on bullying and racism by insisting Matt Wolf and all Issues Managers stop following racist, bullying Twitter account.
14. Doug Ford asks his "great, close friends!" Kenney and Moe to loan Ontario healthcare staff. Kenney and Moe ghost Doug on Facebook.

15. Erin O'Toole unveils CPC's new carbon pricing plan. Plan aims to lessen carbon emissions by rewarding people for buying more gas. I have nothing to add to this.
16. CPC Frequent Carbon Flyer Rewards points redeemable for an afternoon fishing charter with Andrew Scheer.

17. CPC outraged about what Feds paid for life-saving vaccines, call for inquiry into Margaret Trudeau's role in choosing WE as vaccine supplier.
18. Poilievre says if more Canadians were working right now pandemic wouldn't be as bad. Doug Ford being the exception to this rule.

19. Weeks after Rick Hillier's departure as Ontario's vaccination rollout czar, Ontario government says vaccination strategy now being changed to address the glaring need to have a plan.
20. Doug closes Ontario land borders. Winnipeggers now canoeing to Kenora for Ontario beer.

21. Minister of Health Christine Elliott outraged at the suggestion politics played any part in redistribution of vaccines from non-PC ridings to PC ridings. Elliott says it wasn't politics, but the need to ensure PC MPP Jill Dunlop can continue her spring gardening safely.

22. Doug Ford's biggest financial supporter Mattamy Homes releases statement saying when they contributed to Ontario Proud in 2018 they believed Ontario Proud's focus was building rescue shelters for puppies and sponsoring foster kids in war-torn Muskoka.

23. Liberal MP Will Amos inadvertently appears on House of Commons Zoom feed naked while undressing after a run. Millions of Ontarians relieved it wasn't Queen's Park and Randy Hillier.
24. Brian Lilley receives leak saying Doug Ford says no more leaks to media. No. Seriously.

25. I've come to liken Trudeau's pandemic response style to someone learning to drive clutch and stick. I've come to liken Doug Ford's pandemic response style to a guy working a carnival midway and loosening bolts on rides because his buddies run rollercoaster repair businesses.

26. Trees are budding. Robins built a nest in a fern planter out back this week. Mowed the lawn and didn't contract any outdoors co-vedd. People are getting shots. Summer still won't be ideal, no. But unlike last summer now there's hope.

I'll take that.