I can't keep up with my 91 year old Da Tom
Every time I call over he's out
We're in an ongoing battle over the @Wrangler jeans I bought him for his 91st
I've cut the tags off, burnt the receipt & draped them over his armchair
now we wait
I presume this is me, drawn after a row ๐Ÿ˜
These are not the @Wrangler s
He found them in the hot press during lock down
God only knows when they were bought
Born in 1930 he wore a shirt & tie and a suit every day for his entire life.
#Jeans at 91
๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ˜
Tracked him to the mountain.
Again.
He changed his car last week.
I don't know the make, model or reg but it's red.
And smaller than the gigantic thing he bought when he was 90.
He only has Sid in the back anyway.
Midnight
Teeth out.
"You're the image of your Granda Rossitor!"

๐Ÿ˜

That front camera is a dinger for jowls btw
I went to get Sid in the roasting lashing rain.
They were both out.
On the mountain, again.
Or standing at my Mother's grave wondering where the dahlia bulbs are.
"Christ Almighty there's 4ft of flowers on the grave!"

๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ’

Did you do that says he.

Siobhan did it says I without a blink.
He's glued to his phone.
And is on Facebook and Instagram which is like a newspaper every day for a generation who bought newspapers. He does The Irish Times crossword and drinks @JamesonIreland every night.
He prays for a young mind.
I get pms from strangers telling me they met him and how lovely he is.
One was a beauty salon supply company where he was trying to buy a hot wax jar.
For waxing?
- "No, for the arthritis in his fingers while he's playing the violin, he read the warm wax helps" says the girl
๐ŸŽป
He's some boyo.
And I'll bate him into the #Wranglers or die trying.
#IrishDads
๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฎ
Watch this space
You can listen to him playing the fiddle with @MHayesmusic on the #mdmpodcast at
shellshock.ie

#episode4 #saddlethepony
#amwriting #newyorkdiaries
๐Ÿ“–๐ŸŽคโœˆ๏ธ๐Ÿš–๐Ÿ“ฝ๏ธ๐ŸŽž๏ธ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ™
@threadreaderapp please unroll
The begging worked.
๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

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More from @shellakeypookey

24 Feb
1. I was 15 years old when I bought this paper.
Because it had Julian Lennon on the front talking about John.
A month after his death in New York.
2. I only turned 16 in October.
3.
Read 10 tweets
6 Feb
1. Here's my 90yo Da Tom, on the squeezebox of a Saturday evening - wondering when he'll get his #vaccine
I just got him peg paste and rosin to tune up his fiddles to keep him busy
And brought fish & chips
Then found 9 accordions in a press looking for biscuits
9
I know, right?
2. I was stunned
It also explains why he built the press in the first place
With random pieces of wood he has finagled from gatchin with lads on building sites & from a quiet #Leitrim man who is his son in law
"Christ he's gone with the new lengths - he sighs
"Fuck it anyway"
The wood, beams, laths & beading are stored in the downstairs Jacks. He demolished and rebuilt his kitchen at 89. And now he's raging. So he keeps re-building then dismantling the units. He has a white box with acres of light and a raised step. You built your own stage says I.
Read 11 tweets
18 Jan
My Da Tom (90) is coping with #Lockdown3 by consuming ribs & cabbage, marmalade & soda bread, fancy cakes & tay, drawing, painting, playing his fiddle, reading papers, watching snooker, scrolling through Facebook & Insta, playing with dogs & strong whiskey every night.
#Legend
Here is his fridge.
The dude with the fag is called "Lucas Batteries"
He has been drawing him for his whole life.
On school copy books, hotel napkins, and the backs of envelopes.
And on one memorable occasion with a blue marker on a glass door.
"I always give him a #smoke!"
โœ’๏ธ
I bought him a canvas and lent him his late brothers painting set. Filled with colours and brushes, rulers and the nub of a little yellow pencil.
He did this with a sharpie and wax crayons I also brought
And stuck those elves on with Superglue
He tells me it's done an hour later.
Read 10 tweets
17 Jan
@KathyBurke So I hear rustling in the press under the sink.
And say to Val - there's that mouse.
I bang hard on the door and open it. I gingerly extract the Hunky Dorys (assorted) from where I've hidden them on my sedated self. Christ, I announce. The 2 bags of cheese and onion are empty! ๐Ÿง€
@KathyBurke 2. And Val (Professor Clouseau) announces it could be a fault in the factory & bag wasn't filled
Ahem
Well, how do you explain this then? & present the arse of a Ryan's Sliced pan from the cooker I use as a shelf
The corner is gone and there are 2 tiny circles of bread missing.
@KathyBurke @valerievaleraaa 3. She examines the packet minutely for minutes. Ah, says she. This isn't chewed, it's been burnt on the ring while you made coffee. Dear reader, I believed her. Until I found mouse shit on top of the microwave. There's a mouse in this house I announce to Imogen who tells me to
Read 7 tweets
20 Oct 20
Pre-set in the wardrobe while the audience is seated.
The rustle of coats and coughs.
Listening to the front row was like being at my own wake
"Oh, she's ALWAYS been a divil, she got me thrun out of the school choir!"
This is the face of fear as I try to remember the opening line
It's "Jazus Siobhร n I've a jaw on me like a shovel and the woman who knew the recipe for ice must have died"
My head says jazussiobhanjazussiobhanjazussiobhan endlessly like a mantra. The house lights go down. The coughing stops. The music cue. My stomach turns. Adrenaline rush.
I think I'm having a hypo. Christ, I can hear the sea roaring in my ears. Karen Dalton is wailing like a feral child, singing - Something on your mind - "so you turned all your days into nighttime" Muscle memory on nighttime, touch Siobhan's photo and push open the door smiling.
Read 9 tweets
23 Aug 20
Some child with a hipster beard moved into the terrace of houses behind me. He has a girl with him. They are completely impervious to the idea of shared space. He wasn't in a wet day when he arrived at my door to ask me to desist feeding birds His beard was visible above the mask
I wondered why throwing bread to a few starving thrushes concerned this lad I have tights older than. I explained it was installed in my muscle memory and to listen to my podcast if he didn't believe me. I was polite and friendly as befits a menopausal dowager with purple hair.
I heard his gf in the yard giving it loads to a dog. Judging by the amount of times she shouted no I ascertained he was in fact named MO. They left him outside to howl all night which started my 2, the 2 next door, the 2 across the road and the one up the street. It was Bedlam.
Read 13 tweets

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