Thread by @Legendgerry

Notion:
Sentient moving castle that spends it time going to ruins and investigating what happened to the castle that used to be there.
Then exacting justice magical castle style. (?)
Naturally adopts a rag tag band of adventurers along the way, thinks of them as naughty kittens.

"Damn it Alexander how many times! Don't bring your dead things inside"
"Sowwy Mrs Castle"
"You can keep your dead in the cemetery like all the other squishies"
"But..."
"No necromancy indoors young man!"
I have decided it's a Mammy castle and anything that's not also made of

rocks is a "Squishie"
No one is allowed inside two of the towers as she uses them like hands or feet.
Oh!
-
The siege of some such castle: 14 tickety boo
-
Siege towers rumble towards a castle as ballistae and catapults smash rocks against it's walls.
A squad of burly soldiers

advance with a battering ram.
Suddenly the sky grows dark as storm clouds gather, the ground starts to shake, there's a rhythm to the tremors but only those in the vanguard have noticed that.
They turn to look and gasp in amazement as a walking castle comes into view behind them.

Then they realise as it closes that it's not walking, it's running... no, it's charging!
Panic grips the vanguard, they start to flee, officers try to stop them, to some how rally them but it's too late.
The panic ripples forwards through the army, as each rank senses something

amiss with the one behind it.
The battle grinds to a halt as everyone stares at the impossible thing that's coming towards them.
It comes to a halt at the edge of the battlefield.
"Get off her ya wee shites!" (She's a Donegal Mammy Castle now)
"Catapults about face!" some

fool hardy officer shouts, (he's probably called Cumbersmythe or something equally knobbish)
"About face? I'll about face you young feller me lad! Cynthia! Put some manners on 'em"
One of the towers is pointed at the ranks of catapults.
An eagle eyed soldier might have spied a

slender wizard, securely fastened to the roof of the tower and grinning manically but that would have meant being in her line of sight, so they wouldn't have had time to pass on the observation before being engulfed in the stream of fireballs she unleashed.
"Now get out of here

before I lose my temper and use my right hand!" the Castle roared.
Most of the soldiers were already fleeing but a cadre of magic users banded together and started flinging high level spells at the Castle.
"Right! That is it! DREYFUSS!
In her other tower is a Druid who also

looks far to happy.
Lightning streaks out of the sky and smashes into the cadre, the lightning pours down and continues to pour down long after the casters are dead.
"Dreyfuss that's enough!"
"But, but, the pretty lights!"
"Yes they are pretty dear but we have to check on the

victim now and they might be a little scared of the bright lights"
"Oh yeah! Sorry Castle"
"It's okay Dreyfuss, we'll get you down and get some soup into you"
"Mushroom soup?" the druid asks hopefully.
"No dear I think you've had quite enough of that don't you?"
"Aww"
The castle

walks across the battlefield stops just in front of the other castle, on it's battlements, it's assembled nobles were cheering.
"Are you alright dear?" the Castle asked
"Oh we lost about half our people..." the lord began to answer
"She wasn't talking to you!" Davina the

barbarian snapped at him grumpily from the Castles battlements. She was miffed about not getting to hit anyone.
"Then who..."
-End-
This nonsense brought to you by little sleep + early train and not writing the actual story I'm supposed to be writing
#writinglife #writerslift

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