Thread by @Soundsaboutrig4

Well, I guess the "great minds" have found something else for me to taste test.

*checks notes*

Betadine? Are...ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? The shit you put on your cuts and people are...WHAT THE HELL, PEOPLE?

...

Don't try this at home. No..seriously. Don't.

(This is parody)

https://twitter.com/Soundsaboutrig4/status/1432752769308364804

(I'm not kidding. Don't do this. It doesn't work. Get a damn vaccine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is pure satire and in NO WAY suggesting you do this. DON'T DO THIS!!!)

So I postmasts...postmated? I mated with CVS and they brought me betadine.

Right off the bat. They're not drawing me in with this bottle.

How am I supposed to get excited about [not] drinking this or, at the very least, gargling with it?

I mean at least update the colors and not imply that there's humans inside your product.

It's like they don't consider it something you use for except for cuts.

But I remember that...they make my cuts go boo hoo and hurty hurt. NO THANKS!

So I start by gargling. Uh. Well...it has a tea tree like quality of burning...and more burning...and mo...OKAY THIS FUCKING HURTS!!!

My mouth feels like satan crapped in it. Just blistering the inside of my cheeks.

It's like it's not meant for this!!!

I spit it out and...ugh. Why didn't they pick a better flavor than "swampass?"

My mouth feels weird still. Ugh. I forgot I bit my cheek last night and HOLY HELL DOES IT HURT!!!

Okay. Uh. Next I'm told people are ...using it in nasal spray?

The...do...do I have to review that?

I'm told by my producer that I do.

So I'm doing the recommended dosage set out by "a random person on the internet who has no clue what they're talking about."

And let's spray this up our..

WHY THE FUCK WOULD I DO THIS?????

It's like my sinuses are being violated by Poseidon!

*blows nose spray out of nose*

Is...is that a bit of...OH NO. I need that inside my nose!!!

Man...it still hurts. It's like I poured the blood of the alien from Alien into my sinuses.

Okay. I was told by my producer to gargle 'even more you punk ass bitch.'

So...here's to not your health because this shit doesn't work!

I mean here's to ...fuck it. I'm just...I'm gonna do it again.

*starts to gargle again, gags, and accidentally swallows some*

Fuckkkkk!!

So the vomiting wasn't the worst part about ingesting that.

No. The red piss was the most terrifying.

My producer told me he "Called that dumb shit number for controlling poison or whatever. They said to stop being a weak ass bitch."

So...uh...I'm going to...

*vomits*

Okay. The vomiting doesn't stop. Now nausea is coming and my producer (@Soundsaboutleft if I end up needing to blame someone later) keeps trying to settle my stomach by kicking my legs.

"It's not that bad. People on the internet says it's okay and that means it has to be!!!"

Well, I think I crapped out my kidney.

It's just lying on the floor beside me. My producer (Left) stole my wallet and went to buy himself a "lunch befitting the greatest producer in living memory."

So...I'm just going to lay here and hope the room stops spinning.

So that was Betadine...don't fucking do it.

It sucks all the shit ever because IT'S NOT MEANT TO BE TAKEN ORALLY!!

Use it for scraps and cuts and that's it.