Thread by @Soundsaboutrig4

Oh, man. So here's a hot tip. Never eat #Dune Sandworms if you don't want to...well. Let's just say the Spice Must Flow.

I will say that @Soundsaboutleft did do an impressive job riding a sandworm.

Let's ride on into this review HAHAHA SEE WHAT I DID THERE??!!!

So the thing you need to know about the #Dune Sandworm is they're big.

I mean bigger than a breadbox big.

Dare I say they're bigger than a certain orange person's ego. However, they serve a purpose.

See. They poop out the spice. No...seriously. They poop the spice.

Now, usually the people of dune (the Fremen) don't let outsiders into their world, but we were able to charm them with our ...charms.

Also, we bribed them with @tacobell.

They found spice on spicy...ish food wasn't half bad.

Also, Left looks great in a codpiece.

The Fremen kept telling us the worms were...sacred or something. I don't know. I wasn't paying attention.

They kept screaming about worms and...look. I wasn't there to take notes on them.

I was there to eat a sandworm....or at least parts of it. They're too big to like eat eat.

So we did the whole ritual on getting a worm and riding it and it was cool and all, but do you really need such details?

Of course not. You're here for the Sandworm Schnitzel recipe!

So the only thing I need to tell you is that once you're done riding the worm around, take out your knife and cut out choices bits.

Hot tip: Better be a strong knife...not like a plastic knife you found on the ground of an Arby's parking...we tried that. Doesn't work

And I know what you're thinking. "Wouldn't the worm notice you took out like ten pounds of it?"

Yeah. It screams a bit and flails. So it's best you learn to tuck and roll.

Now, here's the thing. Make sure you shove it into a burlap sack or something so you don't lose the meat.

Then you jump off the worm and hope you don't break everything.

Then hope you can outrun the Fremen 'cause they're gonna be pisssssssseeeedddddd!!

Once you get back home, you just follow the recipe above and enjoy.

As for the review? Really gamey. Like....wayyyy too gamey, but making it into a schnitzel actually helps to mask some of that swampass flavor.

I'd say that it's even better than pork chops if you do it right.

Just remember you're about to turn your butthole into a cannon.

So be ready to dash to the bathroom and let the spice flow.