The British Army found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus.
They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of £1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those two points would be.
The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of £72,000.
The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tips of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with £96,000.
The third one was a non-com, a grizzly old sergeant-major who, when asked where he would like to be measured, replied, 'From the tip of my penis to my testicles.'
The pension officer suggested he might want to reconsider, referring to the big cheques the previous two officers received. But the old sergeant-major insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer.
The medical officer arrived and instructed the sergeant-major to drop 'em', which he did. The officer then placed the tape measure on the tip of the sergeant's penis and began to work back.
‘Dear Lord!’the medical officer suddenly exclaimed, “Where are your balls?'
The old sergeant-major calmly replied, 'Afghanistan.'
The old sergeant-major calmly replied, 'Afghanistan.'
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