I never talk about this, but there was a night...long ago where I was stalked by some creep as I babysat. That creep was the Shape...you call him @Soundsaboutleft
So join me as we hear a tale of ...Halloweeniness.
Halloween is one of the first slashers. I say one of since Black Christmas came out several years before and gave us the killer POV, etc.
Halloween is still a baller as hell film that was a MASSIVE influence on slashers and cinema.
It's legit.
The movie was written by John Carpenter (@TheHorrorMaster) and Debra Hill. Debra Hill was insanely talented and died way too young.
John Carpenter also directed and made the music for it. Like Carpenter's music is incredible in its simplicity and just how haunting it can be (see his other movies like They Live for other examples).
Carpenter is one of the greatest directors in history and in my top 3.
The film stars Jamie Lee Curtis (@jamieleecurtis) and the late, great Donald Pleasence.
Now a lot of people will crap on Halloween 3, but it's in my top 3 of the series. But this isn't about that.
No...this is about the first one.
So let me take a...stab at live reviewing Halloween.
And I refuse to put a year on it to distinguish it from the ones that are coming out now.
Eat me. If I say Halloween, I mean this one.
It starts off with one of the best movie themes ever.
The dun dun dun du du is brilliant.
It's up there with Jaws.
We see a pumpkin that I learned from this youtube video that the pumpkin was carved by Carpenter.
Also...watch this review. It's legit the best Halloween review on youtube.
We begin in Haddonfield, Illinois on Halloween night 1963.
A bunch of Boomers are chanting trick or treat and shit.
Ha. Your future children will hammer you online with 2 words. Ok Boomer.
SUckkkkkkKKKKK ITTTTtttTTT
We get a POV shot that's silent and I have to stop a moment and comment about HOW DAMN BRILLIANT THIS OPENING IS.
It's not technically one shot, but they did it in such a way you can't really tell the editing spots.
It's PERFECT.
Probably the best "one" shot in cinema for me.
We see someone skulking outside and watching a couple Silent Generation teens going at it on the couch.
The dude somehow stops long enough to ask if they're alone.
The girl says "Michael is around someplace. I hope he doesn't stab me to death."
The teens go upstairs and the stalker moves around the house some more.
Dude...did you leave your key?
After the lights go out upstairs, we get a hell of a stinger. The stalker goes..wait. Why was the backdoor open?
That's how you get flies!!
The stalker creeps into the kitchen and OMG I WANT THAT KITCHEN! It's so freaking cute.
The killer then grabs a knife and holds it up ready to...stab downward even though no one is around.
Just put it to your side for a moment, dude.
He continues to move thru the house when the dude comes downstairs after coming upstairs.
Giggity.
Also...uh...Michael walked slow, but he wasn't that slow.
Freaking Silent Generation Minuteman there.
The figure somehow isn't seen by the guy...does he lack peripheral vision?
Anyway. The stalker goes upstairs as ...okay.
This music is just amazing. It's one of the best parts of this movie and I love this movie.
There's a mask on the ground and we see some kid reach down and grab it. He then puts it on the stalker's face. Either that or the kid is Mr. Fantastic and stretched his god damn neck to keep his head up and his body go down.
We now get a POV with eyeholes...like having a pumpkin on during minecraft.
Does this make me hip and relevant to kids today?
...
..
.
No...no it doesn't. Shit.
Anyway. We get...
BOOOOOOBBBBBSS....
I'm just going to assume his sister is 21.
Let me just say we know Michael Myers is a psychopath because he just watches his naked sister comb her hair. Just...icky.
He sees that her bed is unmade and teens having sex turns all slasher killers into murder machines ...
Oh, shit. Michael Myers and Jason were incels.
It makes total fucking sense.
The girl yells "Michael" instead of "Why the fuck do you have a knife in your hand you little psycho?"
Michael then Psycho stabs his sister.
Right in the tit, Michael. WTF.
Michael then goes downstairs and ...you know you left the backdoor open...right, young man?
Michael goes out the front door as a car pulls up.
Either some Greatest Generation or Old Silent Generationers get out of the car and go "Michael?"
These are Michael's parents and they just got back from a swingers party.
The dad takes the mask off the kid and we see Michael is like...9...or 10.
He's covered in blood holding a knife and everyone just stands there.
Why...why aren't his parents going "WTF??!!"
They just stare.
Man...parenting in 1963 was weird. You see your kid holding a bloody knife and all you do is say his name, take off his mask, and just stand there with your hands in your pockets.
No wonder Boomers are all fucked up.
We cut to Smith's Grove, Ill Oct 30, 1978.
It's a dark and stormy night.
We hear Led Zeppelin blasting on the radio as a bunch of hippies do lines of...
Wait. No. Sorry. It's Dr. Loomis being driven by Nurse Chambers.
Loomis is like "You ever done anything like this before?"
Kinkkyyy.
I must have gotten the porn parody Hollowonherween.
Turns out they're going to a max security place.
Donald knows it like the back of his hand. He knows where driveways are!!
And the nurse uh...isn't very sensitive to mental patients.
We get Dr Loomis' opinion about Michael...that "it" is a monster of unparalleled evil.
We find out that Loomis wants to dope Michael so he can't be evil.
Holy shit it's dark as dicks.
They're going to take Michael to some trial. They're on their way to get him and when they get there.
Anarchy.
The mental patients are wondering around in the rain.
The nurse seems to be confused. Uh. What kind of sick location would let mental patients freeze in teh rain?
Loomis makes her stop as he goes to see wtf is going on.
Michael climbs onto the station wagon and grabs at the nurse.
She drives the car a bit before Michael hulk smashes the window.
She gets out and Michael steals the car.
Where the fuck were you, Loomis?
Jerking off?
Loomis confirms this by saying "The evil is gone!"
We cut to Haddonfield on Oct 31st...also known as Groundhogs Day.
Man. Haddonfield looks eerily similar to South Pasadena.
We see Laurie Strode leave her house. Her dad is like "Go drop that key off at that serial killer's house. I'm going to sell that shit after 15 years."
Man. People leaving keys under the mat.
No wonder they were such easy serial killer fodder.
Laurie walks across...man those houses are like 2-3 million dollar houses today. I'm not kidding.
Hauling ass up to Laurie is Tommy Doyle.
He talks about jackolanterns and shit.
We realize that Laurie is his babysitter.
He's all like "Where are you going."
"To a serial killer's house."
"Why?"
"Because my god damn dad asked me to."
"You can't do that...it's a spo..."
Then Laurie slaps him and puts the key under the mat.
JUMP SCARE!
Michael Myers is in the house.
Uh. Man. If Laurie hadn't dropped the key off, she and her friends wouldn't have been stalked by him.
Fate is a C U Next Tuesday.
As Laurie walks away, Michael stands on the sidewalk just staring.
But this is the 1970s and weirdos staring at teens on the streets was seen as flirting or some shit.
Holy shit...stop staring, Michael.
We cut to Loomis shitting all over some cop??
Loomis is like "Mother fuckers, this psycho path is going to eat ALL the assholes in Haddonfield!!!"
The guy is like "He can't even drive a car."
Loomis is like 'Fuck you...he did well enough...eat shit. Don't you dare point out a plot hole."
Loomis then slapped the guy and suplexed his ass.
We cut to Laurie being bored in class.
She looks outside and sees Michael staring at her.
Call the police.
We get a talk about fate and HOLY SHIT IS FATE GONNA FACE FUCK YOUR FRIENDS!
Laurie responds to the teacher for 2 seconds and in that time...MIchael got into his car and fucked off.
We cut to Tommy being bullied for ...having a pumpkin?
Man. Kids were always annoying.
Oh, and they say the Boogeyman is coming.
Uh. So on Wednesday (this is Tuesday according to google on what day oct 31, 1978 is)...he gets to go "The Boogeyman did come" and then kick them.
They taunt Tommy until he falls on his pumpkin.
They run off and one of the bullies is caught by Michael.
He's like "LOL...slow down kid. I have to stalk the kid you taunted!! LOL!!"
Michael then stares at an elementary student and stalks him AND NO ONE GIVES A SHIT.
The 70s was the golden age for monsters apparently.
Michael then gets into the car and...stalks the kid more. Like slow drives and NO ONE CARES
Tommy has the awareness of a dead shrimp and doesn't notice the person stalking him 5 feet away.
We cut to Loomis at a ...pay phone? Man. Weird.
He's calling the 5-0 and tells them "Michael is coming to rip assholes."
Loomis doesn't go "LOL...I found a body of someone he killed and took the overalls from."
Loomis goes and disturbs a crime scene because...fuck your crime scene.
He doesn't even look at the body that's 3 feet away.
Again...everyone was blind back then.
Then we get teenage gossip..."teenage"
I'm pretty sure some of these girls are in their 40s.
Laurie and her friend Lynda walk back from school.
Talking about...boys and malt shops and shit.
Then the obnoxious Annie comes up.
I hate Annie (played perfectly by Nancy Kyes...she's awesome at this).
Laurie realizes she forgot her book and Lynda is like "books are for losers" as Michael drives up slowly in a stolen vehicle.
Lynda is easily confused by cars because she thinks it's some random asshole.
Annie talks mad shit about Michael and he slams on his brakes.
He then drives off after writing a post "NICE GUYS FINISH LAST!!!"
Annie then talks mad shit about Laurie.
Laurie...Annie is not a good friend. Be happy Michael kills her. She would have made you feel like shit for the rest of your life.
The teens continue to chat about hula hoops and arcade games and trick or treating and defunding education and voting for politicians who destroy the environment and the future generations.
Laurie then sees the shape ahead...staring at them and wearing a mask.
Annie goes to confront him, but Michael ninja vanished.
Annie acts like a real pill and tells Laurie to come take a look.
It's..nothing.
Annie...you are the god damn worst.
Man. Michael Myers had teleportion powers and no one talks about it.
Annie goes into her house that's now worth 2.5 million.
Laurie then runs into Sheriff Brackett (Annie's dad).
Why...why were you just standing on the sidewalk until a teen bumped into you?
The sheriff then stares at her ass as she walks away. She turns and he realizes he's caught and goes inside.
Laurie then goes towards her house that now is worth 3.1 million.
I'm only slightly exaggerating these prices.
This house sold for like 500k in the late 90s and now they want 2.7 million.
Laurie watches some kids trick or treat during the day.
She then goes inside.
She looks outside her room and Michael is standing there...okay where the fuck did he go?
He literally disappeared as she was looking at him.
HOW?
The phone rings and she goes and SOMEBODY IS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE CALL AND NOT TALKING...IT'S A STALKERRRRRTSDGHUIOJSFAKOIJGUJ
I'm just kidding. It's her friend Annie.
Kids today. Always on their phones with each other.
*shakes fist*
Laurie flops on the bed because the internet didn't exist then and life was fucking boring.
We see Laurie carrying a pumpkin and her stuff outside waiting for someone to pick her up.
She watches more kids day trick or treat...day trick or treating was lame then and lame now.
Annie picks her up to drive her...like 3 blocks based off how far they walked to school and passed Tommy's street.
We cut to Loomis driving up into the graveyard with some dude with a map to her tombstone.
The guy is like "BAck in the good ole days I blah blah blah."
He's telling a story about some other dude b...oh and Loomis interrupted him.
They find the spot and the tombstone of Michael's sister is gone.
I WONDER WHO TOOK IT??
Can we talk about how Michael Myers has super human strength.
Was he weight training at the asylum??
We cut back to Annie and Laurie trying to be cool by smoking.
You know what's not going to be cool?
Lung cancer.
Michael pulls up behind them and they don't notice the car riding their asses.
Man. Self Awareness must have been discovered in 1994 or some shit.
We hear "Don't Fear the Reaper" as they somehow see Annie's dad from 3982 miles away.
They pull up to a store whose alarm is going off.
This spot in South Pasadena today is pretty chill. Seriously...much nicer looking today. That's rare.
Oh...and we find out that Myers took a mask and some rope.
Obviously the work of evil teens. Damn Boomers don't know when to stop with their malt shops!
Looms comes up to talk to the sheriff and ignores Michael Myers RIGHT THE FUCK BEHIND HIM!
Come on...no one pays attention to anything!!
Laurie is like "Your dad could smell the devil's cabbage."
Then they chat about boys and dances and ...rollerskates and...ignoring medical advice because liberals tell you to.
Annie then makes fun of Laurie for liking Ben Tramer. The same Ben Tramer WHO FUCKING DIES IN HALLOWEEN 2 WHEN THE COPS SLAM THEIR CAR INTO HIM AND SET HIM ON FIRE AFTER LOOMIS TRIES TO MURDER HIM FOR LOOKING LIKE MICHAEL!!!!
They continue on their tour of town with Michael right behind them.
They drive so long it becomes dark and Michael is right there behind them...not being noticed.
Laurie is dropped off at Tommy's house and Annie goes across the street. Michael writes poetry about how hard it is to get a girl.
Man. It's a good thing it's Halloween or else this weirdo staring at teenagers so openly might set off some alarms.
Again...no one at the door LOOKING IN MICHAEL'S DIRECTION NOTICE THE WEIRDO STARING AT THE TEEN!!!
Loomis goes with the sheriff to Michael's old place.
Loomis wants to put a bid in on it.
We also find out that the house has been abandoned since 1963.
So...a fixer upper for you folks looking to buy a house in South Pasadena.
IT'll only cost you 1.4 million
They break inside and they find a dead..uh...ugh.
Michael ate Cujo.
Loomis goes up the stairs and is like "And here is where Michael saw his first boob. It was his sisters just before he ganked her."
Then we get a jump scare of...something breaking the window...wtf is that??????
Seriously...what is that?
The sheriff is like "LOL. You're a pussy ass."
Loomis is like "Of course I'm scared. He's an emotionless monster who is out here stalking people. He's got the blackest eyes...dolls eyes."
Wait. Shit...that was Jaws I was quoting.
"He's got the blackest eyes...the devil's eyes.
Loomis is like "He's going to come back. I'll stay here and pound off in the corner. Oh, and don't warn any of the locals. Make it sporting for Michael."
Inside of Tommy's house, Laurie is reading him a story.
But he wants her to read him comics.
Pfft. Your comics are lame.
There's another call. "7 days"
It's Lynda. The family dog is freaking out going "hOLY CRAP THERE'S A WEIRDO OUTSIDE...YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO SEE HIM!!!"
Sorry...it's Annie.
My bad.
Holy shit that kitchen wall is amazing.
Annie continues to mock Laurie because Annie is a monster.
Meanwhile, Tommy looks outside and sees Michael staring at teens...
This is the only person in all of Haddonfield who freaks.
Tommy is like "The bogeyman is outside."
Laurie is like "Like there'd be some weirdo stalking people all day long. Looking at them while they're in class or walking along the sidewalk."
Seriously, Laurie?
Annie gets stuff on her clothes and...strips.
Right.
Michael starts to write about how all girls are evil and he smashes a potted plant to prove his point.
The dog goes outside and Michael ganks it.
Annie continues to be the worst when she hears the dog whimper in pain and goes "LOL...never mind. It's not barking anymore."
We then see The Thing on TV.
Carpenter a few years later would remake that and give us the exception that proves the rule that remakes suck shit.
The Thing (1982) is one of the greatest movies ever.
Tommy then talks about being scared and Laurie is like "LOL. I was scared all day long of a stalker, but now that it's dark? He must have left."
We then see Annie go in back to the laundry room in the garage??
I guess.
The power is out and she's like "Well. guess I'll stay in here and put my clothes in the machine for no reason."
Michael is outside going "LOL. I'm here. You can't see meeeeeeeee!!!"
Annie goes to look and is like "I hope no murderer kills me while I do laundry with the light out...even though the laundry machine works."
The door shuts and Annie is stuck.
She gently yells for the kid to open the door.
She's busy watching The Thing, dammit!!
The phone rings and Lindsey has ZERO fucks to give.
Michael right there and Annie doesn't see him.
She then goes out the window and Lindsey finally picks up after they keep calling.
Annie has zero fucks to give, but is forced to go tell Annie that Paul called.
Annie = Lindsey.
Too many damn names.
Lindsey goes inside the garage laundry and finds Annie stuck with her ass up in the air.
Lindsey gently stares and that's enough to get Annie unstuck.
They go back into the house as the phone rings.
hOLY SHIT JOLLY TIME POP CORN?
That's amazing shit.
Paul calls back and talks to Annie.
Behind her Michael stands in the doorway. He then vanishes again.
I'm convinced Michael is transparent to the people in this town.
Annie tells Paul to bring that D over.
Annie is like "Lindsey, we gotta go pick up that D I want."
Lindsey tells her to fuck off, and Annie is like "Fine...go hang out with Tommy."
Michael is all like "wtf. i already stared at this one for an hour."
Luckily for Michael, he overheard and had time to get behind the car.
They go inside and Annie is a bitch to Laurie.
Big surprise.
Annie is like "Watch Lindsey while I get Paul. I'm a horrible person and my death isn't a tragedy."
Annie goes to get in her car when she realizes she doesn't have her keys.
No one has any awareness about anything at any time.
This is what happens when you're in the 1970s.
Just purple haze and shit.
Annie gets back into her car. It's all fogged up from Michael breathing heavy.
Michael then comes out from the backseat and chokes Annie out.
It's actually a horrific death because it's slow and obviously agonizing.
Michael climaxes as the light fades from Annie's eyes.
Tommy plays hide and seek as he looks outside and watches Michael play hide the Annie.
Tommy tries to tell Laurie and she's like "LOL. You lie."
Gonna say this. If some kid told me they saw someone kill someone and take their corpse...I'd call the cops.
Fuck it. Why not?
Meanwhile, we see Loomis hiding in the bushes and watching kids dare each other to go up to the house.
Loomis is a weird dude.
Loomis scares the kids off and has the biggest smile.
"People are dying, but I can scare kids."
Loomis then gets a jump scare from the sheriff.
He's like "Typical day. Nothing could ever go wrong. It's not like my daughter was just butchered."
Loomis goes off about how Michael has been waiting for that night for 15 years.
"He just pounded off to thoughts of this shit."
We then see the sweetest van ever pull up.
It's Lynda and her boyfriend. They're drinking booze and going to go inside and boink.
Oh, god. This guy says something I won't repeat but he implies something monstrous.
Like...holy shit wtf. That guy is the real monster.
They barge into Lindsey's house and no one is there.
Lynda is like "anyone here? No...let's go bang!!"
Who goes into some random person's house to bang.
Oh, and there's Michael watching them do it.
Michael 100% would be a red piller today.
Laurie is watching the kids as a phone rings.
Today people would just text "LOL. Annie ther???"
Instead they have to use their mouths to talk.
Lynda is like "Where's Annie. We banged already!"
When they find out Annie and Lindsey are gone...they go upstairs in the house of someone they don't really know and bang more.
LiKE..WHO DOES THAT?????!!!
JUST BECAUSE YOUR FRIEND IS BABYSITTING THERE DOESN'T GIVE YOU THE RIGHT!!!
Lynda and Bob are banging in...the parents' bed. WTF.
The phone rings and they don't pick up.
Those sheets are going to be...wait. That's not even a queen. That's maybe a twin bed.
Michael's shadow crosses because he's pounding off in the corner.
Bob, meanwhile, proves that every man in this town lasts about 30 seconds.
Lynda and Bob grabs smokes and...
So not only do you make their sheets messy, you smoke in their bedroom?
What is wrong with you?
You deserve to die.
Lynda makes Bob go get her something to drink.
Add theft to the list.
Bob goes downstairs and steals stuff from the fridge.
He turns around and notices the door is open.
He thinks Annie might be out there.
He shuts the door and....
Michael screams "GOTCHA, BITCH!" and chokes Bob the fuck out before psycho stabbing him.
And it's not like a brutal stab. It's slow and ...somehow strong up to keep bob floating in the air.
Michael watches the light fade from Bob's eyes and he climaxes to that, too.
The door opens and Michael is dressed as a ghost with Bob's glasses on.
Man. Michael is such a goofball!
Lynda exposes herself and that sets off Michael's stabometer.
Lynda is annoyed and calls Laurie.
Michael comes over going "boooo...i'm a scary ghost!!!!"
Then chokes Lynda the fuck to death as Laurie listens.
Lynda thinks it's Annie orgasming.
She realizes that Paul is lasting wayyy too long in sex since no guy there goes more than 30 seconds and she realizes it might be something bad.
Michael picks up the phone and is like "7 days."
At this point Laurie calls back and nothing.
Considering the awareness of people there...I'm amazed she doesn't just call poison control.
"My friend choked on something LOL."
Laurie goes upstairs and sees the kids are asleep.
She goes "I hope some brutal serial killer isn't into stalking babysitters tonight. Like the person I saw me stalking me earlier."
Meanwhile, Loomis is pounding off in the bushes.
He FUCKING FINALLY sees the station wagon Michael stole across the way.
He runs up to it and is like "HOW THE FUCK DID I MISS THIS??"
Laurie is like "Maybe I should call the cops. LOL. I kid. We won't do that. It's not like I've had a stalker all day and I heard my friend dying on the phone!!!"
Naww. People back then had gumption and a willingness to go into dangerous situations with the awareness of a pound of rocks.
Laurie walks towards Lindsey's house going "Man...we really are easily murdered by serial killers back in the 70s."
Laurie walks around the house and then goes in the backdoor.
Bob, luckily, was moved from where he was hanging out.
Laurie doesn't turn on any lights because where would the fun be in that??
Laurie wanders around and the music and tension make this awesome.
She goes into the bedroom and there, on the bed, is her dead friend.
Above her is Judith Myers' (Michael's sister) tombstone.
Laurie freaks the fuck out and Bob's? body swings down like a pendulum and then the door opens and Lynda is like "SEE MY CHEST SEE MY CHEST!"
Then we get that incredible shot of Michael behind her.
Here's Left's family photo of that.
Michael slashes at her and she goes the fuck over the stairs and lives.
Laurie moves to escape, but is stopped by a rake blocking the door.
Uh...Grab a weapon.
Michael punches through a god damn door beside he's uber badass. He comes in with a knife and Laurie breaks the window, moves the rake, and runs.
She runs screaming for help and, of course, no one listens.
Man. Humans suck.
Laurie also falls down.
She goes to various houses and hammers on the doors. She begs for help, but they tell her "Fuck off...it's late!"
Not gonna lie. If some bloody teen came to my door scream for help...I'd leave them to die, too.
Laurie runs back to Tommy's house and struggles to find the key as Michael slow walks this shit.
She throws a potted plant to wake Tommy and he stumbles downstairs.
If I was TOmmy...Laurie would be dead. I'd gone back to sleep.
Tommy opens the door and locks it. Tommy screams about Boogeyman and shit.
Laurie tries to call the 5-0, but it's dead.
Too bad you don't have a cell phone.
She grabs a knitting needle and Michael lunges from behind the couch. He misses Laurie and she stabs him in the throat.
She grabs the fallen knife and peers over to look at Michael
Then...she just...sits and has a fucking cup of tea.
She then tosses the knife instead of, oh, I don't know.
STABBING HIM IN THE GOD DAMN THROAT 23892392 TIMES AND SAW HIS FUCKING HEAD OFF!!
Meanwhile, we see Loomis Charlie Brown walking all sad.
The sheriff pulls up and that invigorates him. "I'm gonna keep walking slowly!"
Laurie goes upstairs and is like "Tommy...I stabbed him once and assumed he's dead. Yeah...I'm terrible at this."
She wants to take the HE'S BEHIND YOU, BITCH!!!!!!!!!
Laurie puts the kids in a room. She then opens a window and goes into the closet.
Michael doesn't fall for that shit. Instead, he breaks into the closet.
God damn. This dude should become a professional boxer.
He'd be heavyweight champion.
Michael breaks in and Laurie turns a coat hanger into a stabby stab.
She shoves it into his eye and Michael screams "MY FUCKING EYE!"
He drops the knife and she picks it up and stabs him again.
GO FINISH HIM OFF...in a non-sexual way.
Laurie holds the knife in front of her as she leaves the closet.
STAB HIM IN THE FUCKING THROAT!!!
Laurie goes back to the kids "LOL. HE'S TOTALLY DEAD. GO GET THE POLICE. I'M GOING TO STAY HERE AND ASSUME HE'S DEAD!!"
Laurie sits down on the ground...and the shape lifts back up because of course he did.
Tommy and Lindsey run out screaming.
Loomis assumes Michael is inside...even though those kids could have just been being goofs.
Behind Laurie, Michael walks slowly towards her.
Laurie is thinking "I wonder if I can buy Annie's car for cheap."
That's when Michael starts to choke her out, but Loomis is there to save..
Oh, shit. There's Michael's face.
Michael puts the mask back on and Loomis shoots him like 7 times (or 6 times as he says in 2).
Michael falls the fuck out of the balcony and onto the ground.
Laurie asks if that's the Bogeyman and Loomis goes "In my medical opinion? Yeah...that fucker was. He eats shit."
Loomis goes out and sees that Michael is gone!!!
Laurie breaks down crying as Loomis looks as if he smells a fart.
We get various room action shots as we hear Michael's deep breathing.
We see Michael's house and...the end.
Well, that was Halloween and it's freaking amazing.
It deserves the praise it gets for helping to kick start the slasher genre and for several things it got right.
Everyone ripped off the "teens are morons" cliche a lot.
Well, my own hack writing doesn't get any attention. Now, some people would take that as a clue to just give up or, maybe, change their style or actually gain some talent.
Others will just rip off their betters.
So let's do that. The Great Gatsby is in public domain now.
In my younger and more vulnerable years my twin (@Soundsaboutleft ) gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since. Mostly because it was fucking stupid.
“Whenever you feel like criticizing anyone,” Left told me, “just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had. Of course there are plenty of assholes who did and they're just as stupid and evil. So...forget that. Drink whiskey.”
There was a time that @Soundsaboutleft and I were trapped in a room by a madman who forced us to play such evil games as Red Rover and Saw Your God Damn Leg Off.
We escaped from it and told our story to the police...who chased us off with rubber mallets and tea cozies.
Saw stars the always awesome @Cary_Elwes, the brilliant and talented @MichaelEmerson, the never too old for this shit Danny Glover, the cool as hell Ken Leung, the wonderful Monica Potter, and the Horror Icon @officialtobin.
As well as other fantastically talented people.
I really dig this movie. I remember seeing it in the theaters and it was unique and fun. It spawned a bunch of rip offs I wasn't really a fan of and the sequels kinda lost their way, but I LOVE this movie.
I don't think I've ever talked about the time that I was part of a monster fighting team back in the 1980s. Of course going against my team was @Soundsaboutleft and his band of evil monsters hellbent on world domination.
He's...uh...kind of a dick that way.
Monster Squad is one of those movies that introduced a lot of kids to horror...especially Universal Movie Horror.
We got everything from Dracula to the mummy to Frankenstein ('IT'S FRANKENSTEIN'S MONSTER HURRRRR'), ...gillman??, uh...werewolf dude.
Vampire brides who eat possum
I certainly loved this movie back in the day and still do.
Hell, it has one of the best looking werewolf transformations in cinema. It's not American Werewolf in London, but it's damn good.
So not a lot of people know this, but @Soundsaboutleft and I lived in Salem, Massa...mas...massoftwoshits in the 90s.
It was all skateboards and Surge drinks and...flannel and shit.
Oh, and we released witches that were spiritual cannibals.
Radical, dude!!
I legit still remember watching Hocus Pocus in the theaters as a kid...yes. I am old. Yes, you will be old, too, and have hypothetical people judge you for your age.
YOU WILL GET OLD, TOO!!!
Anyway, Hocus Pocus is a FANTASTIC film and I love it.
Doesn't mean I won't do my thing and goofily poke fun at it.
The truth of the matter is @Soundsaboutleft left home a long time ago to live in Hollywood. Okay, within a 45 minute drive of Hollywood.
And when we go home, people look at us differently. Mostly because we owe a lot of people money.
This is Garden State.
The movie is about a guy who moves to Hollywood and goes back ho...ah crap. Left and Zach have the same life story!
It all makes sense now!!
So let me preface this whole thing by saying I haven't seen this movie in forever. I remember really liking Peter Sarsgaard. Like he was the best part of the movie by a country mile.
Don't get me wrong, the rest of the cast was great. Peter just stood out.
Not a lot of people know this, but @Soundsaboutleft and I started a secret club for men to beat the crap out of each other in a...mostly non-sexual way.