Thread by @Soundsaboutrig4

So not a lot of people know this, but @Soundsaboutleft was once dragged into politics by fate.

He went to DC all bright-eyed and bushy-tail. An optimist.

He left and became who he is now if that tells you something.

Let's watch his spiral into insanity.

I vaguely recall this movie. I do know that it seems so quaint to think a lot of politicians in DC aren't just monsters considering the current political climate.

So...this movie is very...very adorable and naive.

Hell. Even the very related The Distinguished Gentlemen (with Eddie Murphy) is quaint and naive.

That's how bad it's gotten or, at the very least, how public the rot is today.

So let's dive into this sappy mess.

And just a heads up. I got a fuckton of groceries and stuff coming at some point soon and there will be a big gap while watching this most like. Maybe a couple.

Good times.

Freaking Yankee Doodle Dandy plays over credits and then switches to sweet land of liberty?

It's...so adorable.

Some dude is talking into a pay phone. Hahaha. Adorable.

Some dude just died. A senator I believe.

There's a bunch of people calling each other to distribute this news so they can figure out wtf to do about it.

The governor is a total cuck who is dominated by some guy named Taylor.

The governor has to appoint the new senator.

We see the governor try to grab his balls to tell Taylor what for.

Then he cracks and curls into a ball to cry "Fine...just tell me who to pick."

Taylor and this other senator from the state are figuring the future of the state of...whatever fucking state this is.

Taylor is the big boss of the political state machine.

He says jump and everyone says "how much shit do I have to swallow?"

Lots of backroom dealing b/w Taylor and the other senator paine.

Taylor is like "I'll make you president. Ha. Imagine this. A corrupt political machine manipulating everything to make a conman like you president."

Oh. And Taylor wants a damn dam built and the new senator will be required to get the votes.

Taylor wants Horace Miller.

A hack who is a known shoe for Taylor.

Governor Cuck cucks it up in front of the press and the committees.

They call him a fuckwhistle.

One screams "I'll shit in your mouth!"

And the crowd wants Henry Hill. Whoa. The mobster who wasn't even born yet??

Governor Cuck stands up to Taylor because he knows it'll destroy his political future.

Taylor threatens him. "I will shove an apple up your bhole!!"

Lots of butthole stuff in politics.

Governor Cuck goes home and he has..like 928392 kids.

HOLY FUCK. Your wife's womb shouldn't be a damn clowncar.

The kids just rail into their dad.

I mean just eviscerate his ass and tell them that he's a cuck if he picks anyone but, I shit you not, Jefferson Smith.

What a coincidence that the movie's title is...OHHHHHH.

That makes sense.

See. Mr. Smith is a boyscout leader...OH GOD.

nO ...NO...WE will not bring up that elephant in the room.

NO!

The governor's kids sound like newsies.

They...they legit sound like newsies.

"Gee whiz, pop, the golly hot goodness is Mr. Smith. He's the guy who'll get you out of a pickle."

HAHAHA.

His kids obliterate him.

I mean they just hammer him to hell and back.

We cut to Governor Cuck using a quarter to determine who to send (Miller or Hill).

It lands on it's side against a newspaper about Mr. Smith.

IT'S PROV...PROV..it's fate!

Governor Cuck goes to the Boy Rangers headquarters and rings the door.

A god damn orchestra blasts his eardrums.

Mr Smith has dozens of underaged kids in his home...oh god.

NO NO NO!!!

This was a simpler time, dammit!!!

Kids played kick the can and...uh...drank malt drinks and whatever the hell else the Silent Generation did before they became good stooges for societal conformity in the 50s.

Governor Cuck appoints Mr. Smith to go to Washington.

He has to convince Taylor it's a great idea.

Oh, god.

OH...no.

Governor Cuck: "He collects stray boys and dogs."

NOOOO!

Taylor is pissssseeeddd the governor did it without his consent.

Senator Paine thinks it's a lark...a splendiferous ...I gotta look up 30s slang.

This guy is aces. He'll blow your wig off!

Taylor consents and they throw a big banquet to celebrate.

Governor Cuck goes and gives a speech about how great he is...in the third person...what a dbag.

Then Mr. Smith gets up. This is Jimmy Stewart who plays that "Aww shucks" personality.

We find out Mr. Smith's daddy was Senator Paine's childhood friend.

Mr. Smith

*looks at 1930s slang*

says Senator Paine is not a crumb, but aces.

And that he'll do everything to make America Grea...ahh shit.

Then a bunch of boy rangers come up with a gift and stumble through this speech.

The kid giving it is missing a tooth and forgets hi...JUST HAVE THE ASSHOLE FEEDING YOU THE LINES TALK.

It's a briefcase and golly gee willikers!!!

They sing Auld Lang Syne (the new year's eve song).

Fuck. This thing is so god damn wholesome I'm going to vomit apple pie.

Mr Smith gets on a train to go East to Washington.

He's in the train suite with Senator Paine.

paine is all nice to him because he misses his friend (smith's dad).

His dad was an editor.

Senator Paine reminisces about the dad and how wonderful he was.

How optimistic he was.

And, holy crap, we find out his dad was assassinated!

Dammmnnnn

I want to see a revenge flick based off this.

Mr. Smith Goes To Ass Whippingville.

We end up in washington and Mr. Smith is talkinga bout his pigeons.

What kind of asshole brings pigeons on a train?

We're then introduced to a slew of ...slue?...a gaggle of women who smooch on him and then demand money for charity.

Damnn. What a racket.

One of the ladies is Senator Paine's daughter and she's all over him when she finds out Mr. Smith is a senator.

Then we got a bunch of political animals chatting him up and his golly geeness is getting overwhelmed by them big city folk.

All these big city folk make fun of the small town aww shucks guy.

How dare they.

HOW DARE THEY!

Then Mr Smith ninja vanishes from his handlers.

He calls some woman who is...someone.

No clue.

She's talking to some drunk on a bench in the office...and...did everyone back then just smoke and drink constantly?

What a time.

Then we cut to Mr Smith on a bus getting a big city tour that blows his golly gee willikers mind!!!!

He goes to Jefferson's statue and has an orgasm.

Like...dude stares at Jefferson's hand and gets an o-face.

Thne he looks at the declaration and holy crap.

I can't handle all this jolly gee shuckness.

Hahaha...and it overlays it with the liberty bell ringing and washington monuments and it's an orgy of patriotism.

Then we see the tomb of the unknown soldier and arlington as Taps plays.

There are nuclear explosions with more subtlety.

Then he goes to the Lincoln memorial to compare his penny to the likeness.

I'm kidding. This was during the wheat penny era.

Holy crap. Their coins were all silver, too.

GIVE ME YOUR COINS!!!

He then goes in and eyefucks Lincoln.

We get the oh so subtle highlighting of words about without malice.

This is like having apple pie funneled into my asshole.

Then he spots a kid reading the words of Lincoln on the wall.

He can't resist, so he goes up to listen to this kid reading it.

HAHAH..
And then more people walk up and take off their hats.

I'm going to puke from all this flag waving shuckness.

Man. This is like purified patriotism propaganda pumped directly into your veins via your eyes.

We cut back to this woman who has the drunk in the office.

Paine is looking for Smith and she rants about clothes and ...

Uh...and turns out she wants a husband.

RIghhhttttt.

Mr Smith then knocks on his door and knocks.

He asks if that's the office and the woman tells him to "fuck right off, fuckbag."

As he leaves, she realizes he just said shucks and that has to be him

She goes to get Paine to tell him the yokel is in the office.

She then just emasculates him for being missing for 5 hours.

Like calls him a 'dickless bag of shit.'

No wonder people complain about today.

Back then Hollywood always had the jolly gee willikers (or however spelled...I don't care) as the hero.

Always pure and sweet and perfect.

Which is nonsense. People have always sucked.

Though, I guess it's says something interesting about life before tv and the internet.

I can watch a webcam in Berlin while sitting on my butt and eating a burrito while they basically had 2 coconuts to bang together to pretend to ride a horse with.

They leave to go have dinner or something and Mr. Smith is like a cat in a fish store.

Just bouncing around all excited.

even in a car.

"Boy o' boy. That'll be something."

Oh...I think her name is Clarissa.

She explains it all to Mr. Smith

NAILED IT, FUCKERS!!!

Clarissa thinks Mr Smith is a faker or something...

She mumbles something and a reporter pounces on it.

He wants to interview Mr Smith.

He offers her world series tickets.

She then says she wants lots of reporters and bribes.

SHe's...uh...very DC

Mr Smith goes into his office and gets jumped by reporters.

They're screaming "Isn't it true you bang horses and murder people?"

Mr. Smith is like "I want a national boys camp. Make those fuckers go be one with nature."

He wants to fund it from a loan from the gov.

And it's paid back by kids sending in pennies and shit.

How quaint.

Then a female reporter is like "How do you like the girls?"

"Four kissed me. Miss Paine is a right fox."

They write a headline "MR. SMITH LOVES PUSSY AND KILLING ANIMALS."

But, in all seriousness, they ask him to make a bird call, take a photo, and put a headline of Mr. Smith thinking DC stinks.

The media has alway and will always lie about this shit for ratings/clicks/sales.

And we see other false headlines because they...oh god.

This movie is definitely playing it up to the "small town America" with this shit.

Senator Paine calls Clarissa in and she's all like "LOL. I totally didn't get bribed by reporters to ambush him."

Clarissa is the worst.

Okay. We find out she's bitter that she has to watch over Mr Smith instead of getting a nice job.

Paine says "I'll give you money and shit if you keep him under control."

Mr Smith goes into the senate and he's all like "GOLLY GEE!!!!"

I guess he's better than those who conspire with seditionists

*coughs GQP coughs*

Oh, man. I realize this is before Alaska and Hawaii joined as states.

So 96 senators instead of the 100 today.

Clarissa goes up to the gallery and she's all smug that she ruined his reputation already.

We then find out Daniel Webster sat at that desk.

"Golly. This is where the guy who made the dictionary worked?"

Mr. Smith is an idiot.

Why do all the kids in this movie sound like New York newsies who smoke and drink at age 7?

HOly fuck.

I also just realized this was released while WW2 was going on in Europe.

We were still not in it because we sucked shit and a disturbing number of Americans were fine with a certain German leader.

(You can argue they remembered WWI, but that was just part of it)

Paine goes up to Mr Smith and is like "LOL. Saw the newspaper. You got shat all over. That'll happen. Remember to headbutt reporters."

The senate comes to order and we get to listen to a prayer.

...

...

...

..
.fsjdkjlasdjl

WRAP IT UP!

We then get sexy, sexy, sexy political manuejfdgkhsgdfk
f

*snores*

Senator Paine then brings up the oath of office for Mr. Smith.

He's like "GOLLY GEE WILLIKERS!!"

Then some dbag who looks like Lindsey Graham tries to do political posturing based off lies.

SO...same shit, different year.

They then administer the oath and he's like.

"Golly. Of course!"

Then Mr Smith sees the newspapers and realizes Clarissa is a Beeeeeeeeeeeeeee...

HOLY SHIT THIS IS AMAZING!!!!!!

Mr. Smith literally goes around town and PUNCHES EVERY FUCKING REPORTER WHO MISQUOTED HIM!!!

I LOVE THIS MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Like reporters run and hide from him.

Amazing!

He goes into a bar and starts to battle it out until they can hold him down.

Mr. Smith just shits all over them as the reports blather about.

We find out they think he's not good enough to be a senator.

And that's my groceries.

I'll be back in a little bit.

Until then...enjoy the second most popular song in 1939 (behind somewhere over the rainbow)

Okay. I"m back. Waiting for the next delivery.

Oh. And the reporters are blowing each other. Just balls and bits and hands and mouths everywhere as they congratulate themselves on how great they are and how much of a yokel he is.

Smith goes ot Paine and is like "I'm just an empty seat. I wanna understand the bills. Otherwise I'm a Christmas Tiger."

What the fuck is a Christmas Tiger?

I mean I can guess by context clues, but what the fuck kind of origin does that have?

paine is like "Why don't you get the bill for the boys camp. Man. In the future that's going to sound sinister."

That's when Miss Paine comes in and is like "hey" and he's all like "Golly" and this...

This is some weird cinematography watching him constantly play with and drop his hat.

Did...did my player zoom in or some shit?

WHAT...WHAT KIND OF FILMING IS THIS SHIT?

Mr Smith drops shit and knocks over stuff and Miss Paine laughs and is like "What a yokel."

She also sounds like she has a cigarette factory in her throat.

Mr Smith then makes Clarissa...explain (@HardSciFiMovies ) to him how to make a bill.

She's like "Fuckkkk. I wish Schoolhouse rock was around. Instead, I gotta teach your stupid ass how to do this alone."

She's like "So write the bill and then you gotta piss all over someone's face. That'll get the attention of some senator and they'll allow you to send it to a committee. That committee requires you to bribe them with poop.If they like the poop, they'll let it go get a vote."

"Then you send it to the house. Those fuckbags will piss and shit on it and then you gotta make your piss and shit stick or they'll vote against it.

Then pee poop pee pee poop poop poop pee pee legislation is slow, stupid, and obnoxious due to political jockeying and posturing.

Then it'll get ignored because you didn't tickle the right balls.

Then they get started.

"How many boys do you want. We need to know about your passion for the...ah shit. Uh. Let me rephrase that."

Then he starts to fart out golly gee and goes "We need patriotism in this boys camp. That gotta eat Lincoln and shit out Washington!"

Basically, this whole damn thing can be boiled down to the fact America was founded in perfection, but we just lost our way along the way with bureaucratic bullshit.

He's sorta right, but god does this hyperinflate how cohesive we were early on.

Then he talks about home home on the range and shit for the camp.

All the while Clarissa is getting all hot and bothered.

His "Golly Gee. Life was easier back when" is laughable as fuck considering people do the same about the 1930s.

Hhahaha...she's so enchanted by his Ra ra bullshit that she begins to soft glow.

She's in love with his optimism.

We find out she's from the big city and doesn't understand the slow, simple life of small town *vomits more apple pie*

HOLY FUCK.

THE EAGLES! THE EAGLES!

THE AMERICAN EAGLES ARE CLAWING MY EYES OUT WITH THEIR PATRIOTIC TALONS!!!!

Time has passed and they're trying to get this bill done before the morning.

He's so tired his tie is slightly out of alignment.

Jimmy Stewart legit kills it even if this shit is sappy as hell.

Smith then starts to talk about Miss Paine and how he wants to give her that D!

Clarissa is annoyed.

Mr. Smith then talks about some tiny as fuck, remote place.

Turns out that this place is DUN DUN DUN GOING TO BE AN IMPORTANT PLACE THAT HAS BEEN HINTED AT BEFORE

The next day Clarissa is in the gallery and she's made that drunk reporter (Bukowski's uncle) get there early so she can watch the show of patriotism.

Though, the true origin of this will be the location.

It's going to make Senator Paine shit himself because it's part of some scheme he's involved in (I think for the damn dam)

This fucking movie is so god damn American pureness, it's causing HBO to shit the bed.

Mr Smith then mumbles through this bill of his all nervous.

Even though he hasn't shown any nerves except when he's trying to get laid by Miss Paine.

When he gets to the location, we see Senator Paine shit himself.

Clarissa points it out to teh reporter.

This new bill gets teh boy rangers to scream their god damn heads off.

So much so the police hae to come out and pistol whip them and drag them out of the chambers.

The senators applaud this rough treatment of kids because they hate kids because it was the 30s.

We cut to Senator Paine in the car with some fuckbag talking about how to damn dam goes in that spot the damn camp is going to go.

So they gotta do something to stop that damn smith.

It's almost cute that back then pet projects like a damn dam would hurt you political when people in the GQP literally tried to overthrow our government and have faced zero consequences.

Mr Smith goes into the office and 293829 people are there wanting favors to work for him blah blah blah.

Basically, his annoying constituents.

It's almost adorable that they think a politician will listen to them without bribing them.

Oh...and he has hundreds of letters from boys.

Oof...again.

SINISTER!

Anyway, the kids are all excited to go to the camp.

And they send in money.

Mr Smith pockets teh cash and uses it to buy ladies of the night.

Oh...and the kids have nicknames like Stinky.

What the fuck was up with kids having the worst nicknames like spanky and stinky and alfalfa and Greg.

Also, Mr Smith has a date with Miss Paine.

He wants to bury his bill if you get my meaning.

...

..

I'm talking about his dick

Miss Paine calls Clarissa and tells him to get Mr Smith all gussied up.

Man. I need another bump of patrioism.

*sniffs*

OH, YEAH. THAT'S THAT AMBERS WAVING, FUCKERS!

She then wants to talk to Mr Smith and he goes all bumbling.

First. Miss Paine sounds like her throat was occupied by Germany.

Second, she's openly mocked the yokel to his face.

We cut to Clarissa playing the piano and talking to the drunk reporter about how Miss Paine is a slag.

Then she leads the drunk on and says she wants to marry him.

He has openly shown his love for her and she's pulling this shit.

She says she wants to leave the big city and go to the country because "SMALL TOWN AMERICA IS THE BEST PLACE TO LIVE. DO YOU GET THAT SMALL TOWN AMERICAN THEATER GOERS??!!! WATCH OUR FUCKING MOVIES!!!"

Lots of drunk rambling, but mostly just her whining about leaving.

It's a less interesting this:

We cut to Mr Smith being all golly gee in his office when Clarissa comes in hungover.

She's pissed.

He's all bragging about how much ass he slammed at the party.

Clarissa is like "She's just pretending to like you. Ah, horseradish!"

That's a way better retort than "eat shit."

Clarissa tells Mr Smith to go back to small town America. He's too pure for big city life.

Clarissa then shows him the bill that got talked on the senate floor while Mr Smith was getting his Washington waxed.

Basically, the damn dam is going into his camp spot.

BECAUSE THERE'S NO WHERE ELSE IN THAT STATE YOU COULD PUT A CAMP!

There's only one 3 mile forest per state

Mr Smith goes to Mr Paine and complains about the damn dam.

He's screaming about goblins and dams and Taylor and graft and dickwhistling.

One of the goons goes to tell Taylor about Mr Smith being a shitbag good guy.

Taylor goes to the governor cuck and yells that Mr Smith was about to destroy their political machine.

We cut to Taylor at Paine's inviting Mr Smith to chat about shit.

Mr Smith walks in like he's ready to punch people and then dickgong them.

Mr Paine is like "I'm not going to destroy Mr Smith."

Taylor is like "LOL. I own you, dickgonger."

Taylor is like "I'm going to destroy him. Either you're with me, or you're getting the dickgonging of a lifetime."

Taylor comes roaring out to wine and dine and 69 Mr Smith.

Mr Smith is all annoyed that he's being offered a bribe. As long as he listens to.

THIS IS LOBBYING. OKAY. THIS IS LOBBYING AND IT'S LEGAL BECAUSE CONGRESS WILL NEVER MAKE IT ILLEGAL FOR THEM TO BE BRIBED!

Mr Smith is SHOCKED that Senators are lobbied.

He goes to Paine and cries "I just found out corporations and rich people own politicians!"

Mr Smith turned 5 apparently.

Mr Paine is lol "Of course rich people control us. Are you a naive child?"

And he says, and I'm not kidding, "This is a man's world and you have to check your ideals outside the door like your rubbers."

HEHEHEHEHEHEHE

Paine is like "Look. Either you can do your job and help people while eating shit from rich people or I could be politically dead and nothing happens. You're an idiot."

Then Paine tells Mr Smith to not mess with the damn dam bill or "You'll get your nuts stabbed by an ice pick."

The next day more political reading of

*snores*

HOLY SHIT. Mr. Smith wants to speak out against the damn dam because that damn yokel is a damn yokel.

Before he can talk, he yields to Senator Paine.

Senator Paine says "I have evidence Mr Smith is a corrupt piece of shit and I have the receipts."

Reports can smell blood and they run in to lick it up.

Paine is like "Lol. Mr Smith bought the land and is going to use it to make a profit."

Again. ADOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRAAAAAABBBBBBBBLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEE that this is enough to get him thrown out of the senate.

Mr Smith tries to defend himself as reporters boo him.

The boys take off their boy rangers pins and throw them in the trash.

Then they go back to smoking and drinking rot gut whiskey.

We cut to Governor Cuck lying and saying he was told Mr Smith was a scoundrel.

Then we get more false documents and lies.

DAMN LIES! against Mr Smith.

All to railroad his asshole for defying the Taylor machine.

We get experts saying the signatures are real and fake and real fake and fake real.

Andjhutirgsfd

*SnortesgfsuidjaksjgrgdfskDFJSFKASDJFLJDAF

Even Paine hammers him.

Paine rightly points out there were other locations for a camp.

Mr. Smith Makes an Asshole of Himself should have been teh title.

They ask Mr Smith to testify, but he storms off screaming "I GOTTA RETURN SOME VIDEO TAPES!"

We cut to a party of politicians celebrating Mr Smith being destroyed and Taylor handing out jewelry to sexy, sexy dames who're gonna boink him.

Then we cut to Mr Smith at the Lincoln memorial again going GOLLY GEE. MR LINCOLN WAS AN HONEST MAN

Then he starts to deep throat the lincoln statue.

It's...awkward

After he's done, he grabs his bags and is ready to leave DC forever.

Then he walks 8 feet and stops.

I guess he's gonna be homeless in the memorial?????

That's when Clarissa walks in and goes "OF all the gin joints in all the world...that yokel had to walk into mine."

We get some flirting between Clarissa and Mr Smith as he sets up his hobo camp.

*curls into a ball and falls asleep during this sappy shit*

OH MY GOD SHUTTTT UP ABOUT FUCKING LINCOLN!!!!

WE GET IT. HE'S THE ONLY PRESIDENT YOU KNOW!

WE get it.

He's special for being an honest politician.

I can only vomit up so much apple pie and only get violated by so many American Bald Eagles.

He's like "LEt's go get booze."

Not kidding. He asks where they can go drink.

Then he waves a fucking lincoln.

SIAGFJDSHTUERAIFJDSKJALKGJFD

Lincoln knew how to make tough choices. He suspended habeas corpus because of a civil war.

He was willing to do whatever it took to get shit done.

He didn't just whine and drink.

THAT'S WHAT PEOPLE LIKE ME DO!

THe next day Mr SMith shows up to the shock of people because Clarissa got him good and liquored.

Some senator goes "We need to throw Mr Smith the fuck out of this senate. He brings a bad name to the Senate."

Then everyone laughed because they were even more corrupt than Mr Smith's supposed crimes and they knew they would geta way with it.

The chair recognizes Mr Smith.

"I seeeemmm to recognizeeee your faceeeeeeeee."

Mr Smith is like "SUCK MY BHOLE, SENATORS. I'M INNOCENT. SO INNOCENT I'M GOING TO TOMBSTONE DROP ANYONE WHO SAYS IT AGAIN."

Then Paine asks him to yield and Mr Smith is like "FUCKKKKKK YOUUUUU!!!"

Mr Smith is like "I'm going to talk a filibuster on this shit and I will prove my innocence by not shutting the fuck up ever. I want you dbags to just give up out of annoyance!!!"

Mr Smith starts to rail Taylor.

Just dresses him down. "Taylor is a dbag and a loser and a cuck and he told me that if I didn't listen to him, I would get destroyed. He woudl rip my asshole asunder and split me in twine!!"

Paine tries to fight back. He is like "Taylor has a big dick and he's awesome and totally doesn't own me and others with his political machine!"

Paine is like "You know what. I'm peacing the fuck out. Everyone follow after because that tub of poop shouldn't be listened to."

Oh and Mr Smith goes "I know that people in my state know I'm great and that Taylor is a machinist!!!!!"

Oh...and it should be pointed out that Mr Smith is blocking a spending bill that'll fund public projects and helping to feed people.

Mr Smith Starves Orphans is the real title.

Then Mr Smith pulls out a thermos and an orange and an apple and a line of *sniff*

The chamber empties of senators and he goes "Uh...shit. I forgot to piss before this. I guess I'll piss in my thermos."

Clarissa then uses gestures to tell Mr Smith a rule to use to force all senators to get dragged back into the chamber.

The sargeant of arms go out with pages...paiges?? and start to beat Senators with said pages.

And my second delivery is here.

Listen to the 4th most popular song of 1939 while I do that.

It's freakin' Billie Holiday, so it's baller.

Where was I? Oh. Right. The drunk reporter is getting yelled at by Clarissa.

She’s trying to get Mr Smith’s story. However, Taylor is moving his tentacles to strangle the truth. Gee. I bet we can’t find a modern equivalent

Taylor tells his goons to beat up any opposition and have his papers lie. Ya know. What happens today.

We see lies going everywhere. Everywhere. Radio. Billboards. Brothel bulletin boards.

We do see senators are willing to believe him because no one dishonest would put in any effort.

Just. Exciting political man action.

We see that the senators go in shifts to keep Mr Smith talking. Trying to break him. They don’t realize that Mr Smith has on a diaper.

This was legit filibusters. The current version is bullshit.

Mr Smith reads the Declaration of Independence and blah blah. I would read Bukowski to keep things interesting.

Then Mr Smith goes. Golly gee. That Declaration of Independence was great about human rights. Of course I’m referring to white men. lol. Imagine actual equality!!

Oh, god. Then he says he wants boys from all over the country to come together in one spot. Oof. Oof.

To one spot. Uh. Awkward

Then he continues to talk about how the founding fathers were perfect and cared about equal rights. Again. He keeps saying “White men only need apply.”

Nothing he’s said makes his case. Just saying.

Several senators try to do shenanigans to end the filibuster. But Mr Smith has Clarissa to keep him from being screwed over.

Then blah blah then eye fucking Clarissa and they send love notes and holy crap this drags on.

He then reads the constitution, but glosses over that 3/5ths thing.

We find out that Taylor has stopped Mr Smith’s statements.

Golly gee. I wonder what they’ll do.

Well. They have a magazine called. Jesus Christ. Boys’ Stuff???

Oof.

Clarissa reads a shitty article over the phone. Back then that’d cost $8383838338383.

So the child labor creates a newspaper that no adult would give a shit about.

It says “Mr Smith isn’t piece of shit. Taylor lying fuckbag. Clarissa eats ass because Mr Smith likes it.”

The boys take the newspaper out to distribute with gumption and moxie. Using their dogs and wagons. It’s so fucking adorable.

Hahaha. Then Taylor’s goons beat up the kids and take all the newspapers. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahah.

The kids try to do a parade and the police water hose them.

Hahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Continuing to prove the young can’t get their voice heard and, when they got older, they become monsters, too.

HOLY SHIT. They literally hit the kids with trucks. This is awesome. Kids are sent to the hospital and this is rated G!!!

It’s been a day and he’s babbling about liberty and goes “Remember standing liberty quarters? You could see her titty!!! At least in 1916/1917 type one. Then the lameos covered up her boob!!”

“That’s what this country was about. Titties on coins!!”

Paine comes in and is like “I have stuff from my state. Bags of it. Filled with requests for titties back in coins!!”

50,000 telegrams for Smith to yield. Hahaha. Telegrams. Life was lame back then. Imagine me reviewing with telegrams.

Titanic sucked. Stop. Rose was a monster. Stop. Wish I ate Taco Bell instead. Stop.

Me Smith looks at the telegrams and Clarissa does some bad acting. Mr Smith starts to cry about the bunnies and George or some shit.

Then Mr Smith guilts Paine with religious guilt.

Then uses his dad’s death to manipulate him.

Then Mr Smith screams and starts to dry hump a statue of lady liberty. As he climaxes, he passes out.

Paine leaves the chamber. He forgot to turn off his tea. Then we here bangs and Paine comes back and confesses.

So a politician admits guilt and demands to be held responsible for his actions?

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahshahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahshahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

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It’s so adorable how it pretends that politicians actually care (with rare exceptions).

Oh. And that’s it. It ends. Yep. Ends on that cornball bullshit and Mr Smith wins. Just pure bullshit.

Well. That was Mr Smith Goes to Washington. It’s more fiction than The Terminator in terms of realism.

@threadreaderapp unroll