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#MentalHealth #MentalIllness #TW #Suicide
A desire to pick myself up, 'carry on', focus on future goals; balanced/contrasted with the need to stop the denial; accept the reality of just how serious things have been. ARE. STILL.
My discharge letter uses the words 'fatal'.
1/17
A desire to pick myself up, 'carry on', focus on future goals; balanced/contrasted with the need to stop the denial; accept the reality of just how serious things have been. ARE. STILL.
My discharge letter uses the words 'fatal'.
1/17
2 Mental Health Act Assessments in 7 days.
4 nights in an acute general hospital. For treatment.
*They* can't all be wrong. Exaggerating. Coercive. Risk averse.
*I* have to take responsibility for causing concern.
Responsibility but not blame.
*I* have had to revisit my
2/17
4 nights in an acute general hospital. For treatment.
*They* can't all be wrong. Exaggerating. Coercive. Risk averse.
*I* have to take responsibility for causing concern.
Responsibility but not blame.
*I* have had to revisit my
2/17
Safety plan; again and again and again. And right now that means 'family supervision'. But in my own home. Where I want to be. Where I am safer. At the moment: change is constant and I must also acknowledge that.
And I am still p*ssed off at the way the #MHAA was undertaken
3/17
And I am still p*ssed off at the way the #MHAA was undertaken
3/17
on Sunday. I can stay with that, point the finger. At them or me. Or recognise that things had been escalating. AND I "tried my best" with the shock, intrusion, emotions afterwards. Took Bow out; a picture of this 'lonely' tree; reached out. Just not far enough or at the
4/17
4/17
crucial time, before/after I acted. Sometimes I need to be in control but that doesn't mean I am wisest.
But I want to move forward.
Whilst this was a VERY different kind of crisis admission, this experience has also had so much that is 'share worthy'.
@CareQualityComm
5/17
But I want to move forward.
Whilst this was a VERY different kind of crisis admission, this experience has also had so much that is 'share worthy'.
@CareQualityComm
5/17
inspections are a snapshot in time.
Not individual stories. Here is my chapter of @MSEHospitals #BASILDON #Lister Ward.
When I said I needed to go out 'for breaks'; you trusted me - you empowered me.
When I asked to sleep on the floor; and not the bed; not only did you
6/17
Not individual stories. Here is my chapter of @MSEHospitals #BASILDON #Lister Ward.
When I said I needed to go out 'for breaks'; you trusted me - you empowered me.
When I asked to sleep on the floor; and not the bed; not only did you
6/17
accomodate me; you didn't judge; or demand I explain something I could not. (I just felt safer).
When you got a senior member of staff as I was struggling with the uncertainty, who said "do not ever apologise for getting upset" and problem solved, you listened; normalised
7/17
When you got a senior member of staff as I was struggling with the uncertainty, who said "do not ever apologise for getting upset" and problem solved, you listened; normalised
7/17
emotions that in other settings may have been seen as symptoms. Or caused people to become uncomfortable.
When I was on my bed, curtains drawn, crying and a supportive arm touched me - (not an embrace that I would of hated), just a touch; kind words; you remimded me I am not
8/17
When I was on my bed, curtains drawn, crying and a supportive arm touched me - (not an embrace that I would of hated), just a touch; kind words; you remimded me I am not
8/17
alone. (That arm belonged to a 24 year old; I know only because I learned it's their birthday this weekend; so much compassion. Maturity.)
When someone advocated for me to the doctors and the #AMHP you demomstrated that you cared about what was best for me.
In hospital
9/17
When someone advocated for me to the doctors and the #AMHP you demomstrated that you cared about what was best for me.
In hospital
9/17
throughout the #JuniorDoctorsStrike, 25 other patients. Yet I was not made to feel less than; quite the opposite.
Plenty of time to observe, reflect. What was it about this environment?
Staff who clearly, openly cared for each other. And extended that to their patients.
10/17
Plenty of time to observe, reflect. What was it about this environment?
Staff who clearly, openly cared for each other. And extended that to their patients.
10/17
Consistency. How different it is to be able to build relationships. See each other as people. Share parts of ourselves. A team; everyone mattered. And of course all the usual buzz words like kindness and compassion.
I wrote a thankyou card to express this, but wanted
11/17
I wrote a thankyou card to express this, but wanted
11/17
to do more.
And without meaning to compare or disrespect, and whilst recognising that this period of #mentalillness is very different; driven by social factors and low mood, in some ways, those 4 days taught me more about myself, and gave me more belief in my ability to and
12/17
And without meaning to compare or disrespect, and whilst recognising that this period of #mentalillness is very different; driven by social factors and low mood, in some ways, those 4 days taught me more about myself, and gave me more belief in my ability to and
12/17
desire to recover than in a lengthy admission. Perhaps it's selfish; I "blocked a bed" but maybe this was the 'crisis admission' I needed in itself.
That poses a question to remain unanswered; how was it that staff who have never receieved mental health training got it
13/17
That poses a question to remain unanswered; how was it that staff who have never receieved mental health training got it
13/17
so right?
And could it be the fact that their main experience/expertise is medical and stroke rehabilitation mean that they saw ME, Rachel; and were not prejudiced by my diagnosis?
I will leave that there though.
Start to end this thread, this pause in my story.
14/17
And could it be the fact that their main experience/expertise is medical and stroke rehabilitation mean that they saw ME, Rachel; and were not prejudiced by my diagnosis?
I will leave that there though.
Start to end this thread, this pause in my story.
14/17
I am home. I am safe. I am going to make my priority working on communicating before I take action that could jeapordise that.
The final two photos. The first; as with many of the others in this thread, comes from the coridoor walls.
I became so familiar with them.
15/17
The final two photos. The first; as with many of the others in this thread, comes from the coridoor walls.
I became so familiar with them.
15/17
Distraction. Opportunity to find my own kind of meaning.. I expect before long they will be replaced by wall stickers; seen as 'outdated'; and what a shame it will be. The second; another patient on the ward asked to take this photo as they liked the jacket; and in return
16/17
16/17
they sent it back to me. The words haven't lost their meaning.
The sun will still rise.
;
💜
💚
❤
#NeverGiveUp
#RecoveryPosse
#MentalHealthMatters
#MentalHealthAwareness
17/17
The sun will still rise.
;
💜
💚
❤
#NeverGiveUp
#RecoveryPosse
#MentalHealthMatters
#MentalHealthAwareness
17/17
@threadreaderapp #unroll please 💚
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