When I was 9 or 10, a new guy started working the counter at the comic book store where my friend Todd and I went for our X-Men/Teen Titans fix. This guy had long hair and a wispy beard. This guy played Mercyful Fate on the store's stereo. 1/
Naturally, we did not trust him. Once, we overheard him talking on the store's phone, saying words we did not recognize or understand. Our first thought, obviously, was that he was using drug slang and that we needed to stop him. 2/
We left the store, went to Todd's house, and hatched our plan. We would call the store, pretend to be drug users who would like to make a buy, he would agree to be involved in this transaction, we would tape the conversation and present it to the police. 3/
We had no way to record HIS end of the conversation, only OURS. But we'd simply explain to the police that he said he would sell us drugs, and they would believe us. And then we'd get the key to the city and be heroes in our schools. 4/
So we called the store, the guy answered, and we basically said "We would like to buy some drugs." 5/
And when I say "basically," what I mean is that that is exactly what we said: "We would like to buy some drugs, and we hear you know where to get them." 6/
The man answered that he could not help us, and quickly hung up the phone. So either he wasn't down to help a child obtain drugs, or- despite voluntarily listening to Mercyful Fate- he really didn't know where to get any. 7/
We listened to the tape for evidence of wrongdoing, found none, and ultimately decided against delivering it to the police. And then we probably taped over it with comedy sketches, which was our other thing. 8/
The reason I bring this up is to tell you that Todd and I in 1982 were better at stings than Project Veritas is right now. End.
