Alan Dershowitz: Please tweet about my unsavory relationship with convicted child molester Jeffrey Epstein.
Me: Okey doke.
Me: Okey doke.
Hey, @AlanDersh! Any regrets about sliming the kids Jeffrey Epstein raped as part of your campaign to help him evade justice?
Hey Dersh! Any regrets about getting Jeffrey Epstein out of jail, now that the world knows he's an unrepentant serial child rapist?
Hey Dersh! Do you still consider your friend, convicted child rapist Jeffrey Epstein, a good guy? Or do you want to take another swing at that one?
Hey, Dersh? Does Trump's statement that convicted child rapist Jeffery Epstein "likes beautiful women as much as I do, and many of them are on the younger side" freak you the entire fuck out? Because it does me.
Hey Dersh! I know you said you never had a clue that Epstein was a serial rapist when you hung out with him. But come on. It's just us. What's the real story?
I know. I know. That's too much. But tell me this, Dersh. Did you know Jeffrey Epstein was a serial child rapist when you helped him get off? Blink once for yes.
You never raped any kids when you partied with Epstein. Right, Dersh? The kids who said you did were lying. Right, Dersh?
I'm glad we had this chat, Dersh. Good talk. Feel free to DM me—or sue me—anytime. Toodles.
Oh, wait, Dersh. Sorry. I guess I have a couple more questions. Lean in close. C'mere.
One: What'd Epstein pay you?
Two: How're you sleeping these days?
Have a good night, Dersh. Sweet dreams.
One: What'd Epstein pay you?
Two: How're you sleeping these days?
Have a good night, Dersh. Sweet dreams.
