Thread by @DrNerdLove

Y'know, normally I don't do the whole "let's bag on this bad comment" thing, but with yesterday's column about rape (doctornerdlove.com/post-mortem-ch…) being fresh on my mind, I feel the need to talk about something that cropped up on my YouTube. /1

A couple weeks ago, I posted a conversation with @kittystryker about consent and her book Ask: Building Consent Culture (amzn.to/2H7s5AI). It was a great conversation and a great book that everyone should check out.

Yesterday, I get this comment: /2

I single this one out because honestly, it's one that comes up a LOT. It's classic false-rape-accusations scaremongering. "BUT WHAT IF THE WIMMINZ USE CONSENT TO JAIL MEN THEY DON'T LIKE?!?"

And good god damn there's a lot to take in here. /3

I mean, there's the idea that "this will create a system that's sexist in the other direction."

I'm not going to get too deep into this - especially as there are other folks that can cover it WAY better than me - but sexism requires social position and power. /4

Instead, I want to get to this point.

I want you to take this in, in all of it's amazing glory. /5

Me:

Let's... ignore the "bro do you even lawyer" part of suing someone and sending them to jail.

Instead, let's just go with the "predatory woman crying false rape" part with the weird-ass fantasy of how this could go down. /7

For the sake of argument, let's assume that this legally manipulative Lamia exists and this actually happened.

Only around 15% of reported rapes actually lead to charges being filed: researchgate.net/publication/22…

Of those, only 18% lead to conviction. /8

So, if this person existed and went running to the cops to say "hey, the 54th kiss was non-consensual," the odds of anything happening are diddly/squat.

If she were trying to screw him over, she'd have more success stealing his social security card. /9

And this is without considering how women are *treated* by police when filing a rape complaint. Getting a cop to a) believe her, b) not make it her fault and c) actually bother to investigate is a fucking uphill climb at best. journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.117… /10

And THAT is before you even get into the trial. You only have to look at the Brock Turner trial - where the dude was CAUGHT RAPING AN UNCONSCIOUS WOMAN - to see how his victim was treated. /11

But sure, Vengeful Sally is going to subject herself to years of mockery, harassment and judgement to screw over Johnny Rando because FUCK YOU PENIS, THAT'S WHY /12

The idea that granular consent - that agreeing to one thing isn't agreeing to EVERYTHING - is going to lead to people using it to get innocent dudes arrested is like arguing that GMOs are going to turn us into lizard people. /13

I mean, if you genetically modify corn, THAT CORN MIGHT FUCK UP YOUR DNA AND SUDDENLY YOU'RE UNHINGING YOUR JAW AND EATING GUINEA PIGS WAKE UP SHEEPLE /14

John Oliver made the case that sex is like boxing: if one person didn't agree, it's a crime. Granular consent is similar: you may have agreed to spar with someone. That doesn't mean you therefore agreed to a full-contact match in the Kumite. /15

Same with withdrawing consent. If you agree to box with someone, then you have a match. If the other person decides they're done boxing and you don't let them leave and keep hitting them that's *assault*, bro. /16

The "this will lead to assault by women" part is such a leap that Evel Knievel couldn't fucking pull it off. It's predicated on a fucking fantasy scenario that only exists in the commenters head. But it's uber fucking common. /17

It's this line that's the most telling: "The woman has more authority than the man, and as we know all authority will be abused if given the opportunity"

Literally: "If we give them a chance, they'll treat us the way we treat them!" /18

The pretzel logic and moon-lawyer legalism is fun to laugh at in the "oh god you're serious" kind of way, but it's the same MRA bullshit that comes up on this topic on the regular. /19

But hey, bro, assume that this will happen and take it to the logical conclusion: If you're really worried that women are going to throw your ass in jail because fuck you, YOU SHOULD PROBABLY NOT BE HAVING SEX WITH ANYONE. /20

TL;DR fantasy moon-lawyer bullshit is bullshit and if you're truly afraid that enthusiastic consent is going to lead to your going to jail, might I point out that your hand will never rat you out to the cops. /fin