Thread by @mateosfo

I was kind of feeling like a sinner today, so after dinner I came to the Berkeley Zoning Board, where we’re about to watch a fight over whether a gas station two blocks from BART should be converted to 23 units of housing and a cafe.

Repentance is a bitch. Forgive me lord.

And the building is already smaller with less windows, on account of windows and homes are problematic to people in the neighborhood who have competing windows and homes. What if we build too many windows and the market crashes?!? Darkness!!!!

Also it’s going to have two, 5/6 bedroom co-living spaces for people in their 20s and 30s who like that sort of thing.

First board member comment: How does this avoid becoming run down tenement housing in 200 years?

Ah I can feel the sins lifting, I’m not a bad person

Next board comment: I can’t see the detail in the bathrooms. What are the bathroom details?

And it’s true, the blueprints don’t specify Schoen or Pearson fixtures. And subway tile? Or Mexican ceramic? I can’t see any detail in this black and white aerial view of printed lines

Now come the neighbors with shadow allergies.

Swear to god the shadow allergy is like gluten free people in Berkeley, like, only one in a thousand actually are allergic to shadows but it’s fashionable so everybody says they’re allergic.

I’ma start a shadow-free grocery

The board is super concerned about the shadow-sensitive and shadow-allergic. I swear Berkeley must have like a marketing program for these people, which, fine, we’re an open community.

Outside money payoff turning Berkeley into New York City

DRINK!

Ah now the parking people, this will also threaten parking at the gas station because there are 78 beds and no parking? There’s a housing crisis but let’s not worsen the parking crisis!

I’m a much better human than I thought I was an hour ago. I made a good choice.

Next speaker: This part of Shattuck is congested and we all want affordable housing for our teachers and workers but just don’t make it, like, actual housing because congestion. Parking also.

We’re possibly not going to get this housing at a gas station in Berkeley because people who claim to be concerned about climate change and the housing crisis are more concerned about parking and ghosts.

Next lady: I’m concerned about gentrification and this is a low/mid income hood and also 5 stories is too many and it should be 3 stories so that it’s affordable and also redesign it so it’s more expensive to build.

Gotta hand it to NIMBYs, they’re incoherent but consistently so

Now a woman who claims to be a climate expert is saying that we have to build only carbon-neutral buildings or we’re being hypocritical.

Huh she’s kind of not wrong but is also concerned about the parking so chances out mostly

Next NIMBY: Co-living doesn’t work because what if the roommates don’t get along?

Uh then we get to watch them on shitty late night TV lady

The busy body factor on this one is very high

I just made my comment/confession. It was basically this: berkeleyside.com/2018/05/01/opi…

And with that, I’m out! Check final score with @aceckhouse