Thread by @mc_hankins

He went up to Oxford with a thirst for knowledge
He studied Classics at Balliol College
That's why I
Caught his eye

He told me that his dad was loaded
I said "I wish I'd known that before I voted"
He said "Fine"
And in thirty years' time
He said

"I want the votes of gammon people
I want to do whatever gammon people do
I want to sleep with gammmon people
I want to sleep with gammon people like you"

Well, what else could I do?
I voted to leave the EU

He took me out of the Single Market
I don't know why but he had to start it
Somewhere
So he started there

I said "What happened to all the NHS money?"
He just laughed and said "Oh you're so funny"
I said "Yeah?
Well, I can still see foreigners over here"

Are you sure you want to live like gammon people?
You want to see whatever gammon people see
You want to sleep with gammon people
You want to sleep with gammon people like me

But he didn't understand
He just smiled and waved his hand

Buy a flat on the Costa del Sol
Don't learn to speak in Español
Smoke some fags and drink some beer
Pretend you always lived round here

But still you'll never get it right
Cause when you're laid in bed at night
Watching your pension value fall
If he cancelled A50 he could stop it all

You'll never live like gammon people
You'll never do whatever gammon people do
You'll never fail like gammon people
You'll never watch your life slide out of view
And drink and blame the EU
Because there's nothing else to do

String along the gammon people
String them along it might just get you through
Laugh along with the gammon people
Laugh along even though they're laughing at you
And the stupid things that you do
Because you think that poor is cool