1. My dear Jack, congratulations on the birth of your baby. It can be a strange experience for men. A young man I know began to walk the median of a highway upon learning he’s a dad. He was going nowhere in particular. He was just disoriented. #Letr2Jack
2. Fatherhood requires some adjustment. Unlike your wife you’ve not had any physical contact with this baby until now. If you don’t feel an immediate bond with the baby that’s understandable. It will come. #Letr2Jack
3. Bonding with a baby often starts as responsibility for men. Men in general tend to relate better with their child as the baby gets older. Though some men are natural. They bond immediately. #Letr2Jack
4. You have a lovely girl. Fathers tend to have a special bond with their daughter. But please don’t forget the girl who gave birth to the girl. It’s important you’re supportive of your wife at this time. Besides, a lot of changes have taken place in her body. #Letr2Jack
5. If you want to be a good father there are determinations you have to make at this early stage. #Letr2Jack
6. It’s not biological fatherhood children respect. The father they respect and adore is the one who’s part and parcel of their life. What children want the most is love and affection. They remember sacrifice. #Letr2Jack
7. Fatherhood is a long-term project. Till you die you will be caring for your kid. #Letr2Jack
8. Babies hardly recollect anything before four or five years. She’s going to ask you at some point in life for memories of her childhood. #Letr2Jack
9. Please take photographs. Lots of photographs, especially of her first moments – the first smile, the first walk, the first birthday, first day at school, etc. #Letr2Jack
10. As a father you have to take moral responsibility for the intellectual and cultural development of your child. Get interested in activities that develop her brain and give her exposure. #Letr2Jack
11. Toys, arts, crafts, lessons, readings, literature, science kits, visits to museums… All these are important. #Letr2Jack
12. Expose her to the humanities as well, even if she’s a science student. Give her extracurricular literature to read. Share music with her. Comics are important. They help develop imagination. Sports is important, though some kids prefer games. #Letr2Jack
13. Spend as much time as you can with your kid. It’s not going to be easy considering your work schedule, but parenting is sacrifice. #Letr2Jack
14. Initially it will be tough. The baby is on a different time zone. Takes some adjustment to mesh her zone with yours. Expect nocturnal demands. #Letr2Jack
15. God help you if the baby is a screamer. Babies get frustrated at our poor communication skills. And some get really frustrated you can’t speak baby language, so they scream, as in scream! #Letr2Jack
16. That noise can be jeering but you signed up for fatherhood. Besides that’s what you did to your parents. What you sowed you’re now reaping. #Letr2Jack
17. It’s important you have a vision for your baby. Your vision is supposed to carry her up to a certain point in life. What is your vision for her education for instance? What primary school, what secondary school? #Letr2Jack
18. The first ten years will be determined by you. Your child needs help with her vision during that period. It’s why you’re there. You determine her direction. At some point she’ll take over the reins. #Letr2Jack
19. As your kid grows spend time with her. Take walks with her, talk to her, develop rapport with her. You’ll build wonderful memories for your kid with such activities. You secure trust. #Letr2Jack
20. When she gets into the competitive arena you have to motivate her. The competitive arena is things like exam and sporting activities. You’ll be shocked the little things that motivate children. It’s not the big stuff. #Letr2Jack
21. What is important to the child is your recognition, praise and approval. Your approbation is what matters. It’s inspiring. It’s why something as basic as a piece of chicken wing can strongly motivate a child in primary school. #Letr2Jack
22. Don’t make promises you can’t keep or don’t intend to keep. Trust matters a lot to children. They have strong belief in words. You make a promise you keep it. #Letr2Jack
23. If perchance you can’t keep a promise explain to your child. Children can be very understanding if they sense sincerity. #Letr2Jack
24. Share your experiences with your child. If you’re broke let your child know. You’re teaching her values, teaching her about life. You’re also teaching her contentment, empathy and sensitivity. #Letr2Jack
25. Children don’t really understand money. Some actually believe you can just walk into any bank and collect money. You need to show her money is earned, that you earn money. If you don’t you create false values. #Letr2Jack
26. Determine from Day One you’ll be a great dad. It’s important you’re a great dad. That would prove important from your fifties down. You want your children celebrating you in old age. You want your children appreciating you. #Letr2Jack
27. Correct the mistakes your father made. Don’t repeat those mistakes. If you have a bad dad don’t repeat the sequence. #Letr2Jack
28. Don’t take out your frustrations on your kid. Don’t scream at her. That’s frightening. Learn to deal with your frustrations as an adult. #Letr2Jack
29. Please don’t fight in front of your kid. That’s a bad memory of childhood you’re creating. Battering her mother is of course a no, no. That’s trauma you’re generating, even hatred. #Letr2Jack
30. A marriage doesn’t need to have conflicts. It’s not compulsory. What you want is understanding between you and your spouse. You want partnership. #Letr2Jack
31. Mum is the best. Say good things about her mother - her sacrifice, her love, her devotion, her affection… Make your kid appreciate her. #Letr2Jack
32. It’s never too early to start being a great dad. Truth is, it starts by being a great husband. #Letr2Jack
33. Your mentor, LA. #Letr2Jack
34. For related letters, search for THE FATHER HUSBAND, I’M GOING TO BE A FATHER, HELP! and FOUR LESSONS at jacknjillive.com. #Letr2Jack
35. *Please don’t leave without clicking the SHARE button below. #Letr2Jack
36. © Leke Alder | talk2me@lekealder.com. #Letr2Jack
