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1. My dear Jack, there are things called “issues of life.” You must be mindful of them. #Letr2Jack
2. There are values you should subscribe to – honesty, loyalty, trust, integrity... They’re kind of like family. Indeed they’re cousins. #Letr2Jack
3. They’re best understood within the context of real world scenarios, case studies. Sometimes they’re even better understood when we consider the antonyms. #Letr2Jack
4. In practical terms the opposite of loyalty to a friend is not so much disloyalty but betrayal. If it’s not betrayal you weren’t close. #Letr2Jack
5. Betrayal is a deep disappointment in someone. It’s a very personal wound. It’s the violation of something sacred. #Letr2Jack
6. There are things friends don’t do to each other. Friends don’t betray friends. #Letr2Jack
7. But you will hardly know who your friends are until your troubles come. Then you’ll know your true friends. #Letr2Jack
8. We use the word “friend” too casually. We get along with someone in a social setting and we immediately start calling the person “friend.” Truth is, many of those we call friends are mere acquaintances. #Letr2Jack
9. Friendship is always tested by life. Friendship has no definition until trials come. In the day of your trial you will know your true friends. #Letr2Jack
10. Trials will always reduce friends from double digit figure to a very low single digit. #Letr2Jack
11. Be careful about hypercompetitive friends. They compete with everyone, even when there’s absolutely no need for competition. They just want to beat everyone, even when they have no capacity to. #Letr2Jack
12. Such people never drive with the windscreen. They drive entirely by the side view and rear view mirrors. Be careful about such “friends.” #Letr2Jack
13. Friends boost each other, encourage each other, help each other. Iron sharpens iron. #Letr2Jack
14. The danger with hypercompetitive friends is that envy is always lurking at their door. And envy is a sickness of the soul. #Letr2Jack
15. An envious person is more concerned about what’s in the other person’s plate than what’s in his bowl, however full. It doesn’t really matter how the other person came about his portion. Envy ignores history of striving and suffering. #Letr2Jack
16. An envious person is not a friend, cannot be a friend. To an envious person the graces of your life are raw materials of hatred. #Letr2Jack
17. In friendship there’s no striving. Friends just are. They’re there for each other. #Letr2Jack
18. Friendship has obligations. And much of that obligation is moral. There are moral obligations in friendship. #Letr2Jack
19. If your friend is in trouble you stand by him or her. That’s what friends do. It’s a moral obligation. #Letr2Jack
20. You don’t have to do anything extra or extraordinary. Just stand by your friend in the day of trouble. That’s friendship. #Letr2Jack
21. Don’t condemn, don’t judge, don’t join his traducers. Just be there for your friend. Leave others to do the condemnation. They’re not his friends. #Letr2Jack
22. When your friend is going through a rough patch in life, especially of the emotional variety, just be there for him or her. It’s a sacred responsibility. #Letr2Jack
23. Life happens to everyone. Life tests us all. There are short waves of trial and there are broad waves of trial. A broad wave of trial can last up to ten years. There will be trial after trial, and trial after trial. #Letr2Jack
24. In those years of trial things won’t necessarily grind to a halt. In fact the person can be doing well professionally or business wise but be going through horrendous emotional trauma. #Letr2Jack
25. It’s not advisable to envy others. You never really know what’s going on beneath what you see. We never really know what others are going through. Pain is always buried deep. #Letr2Jack
26. A friend doesn’t crucify a friend in trouble. He gives moral support. By that support he says in simple language - I am here for you, will always be here for you. A friend is family. #Letr2Jack
27. The thing about moral support is that it doesn’t even have to say anything. It just needs to be there. It’s an attitudinal disposition, a language of the heart. #Letr2Jack
28. The other person knows you’re there for him or her. It boosts his or her faith, strengthens weary hands, energises pummelled heart. It’s one comfort in all the trial. #Letr2Jack
29. That moral support can sometimes mean the difference between hope and anguish. Sometimes in life we just need people to be there for us. #Letr2Jack
30. If you can’t minimise the pain of your friend don’t add to it. Don’t multiply the sorrow of someone you call friend. That is evil. #Letr2Jack
31. The fact you won’t stand by your friend is painful enough. Apart from that pain there’s also disappointment. And on top of that there’s the sorrow you joined others in condemning him or her. #Letr2Jack
32. There are those who like privacy. The fact they’re being discussed is enough pain during their trial. How can you then be the talebearer against your friend? No true friend does that. #Letr2Jack
33. When you do things in life think about the future. Your friend’s trial will not last forever. When the trial is over will you be standing as a friend, or perceived as a foe? #Letr2Jack
34. When things are going well for you anybody can be your friend, everybody will be your friend. But those are not really friends. A friend is born for the day of adversity. #Letr2Jack
35. Your friend cannot have a sense of betrayal concerning you. You brand yourself when you betray your friend. Even if he forgives you he’ll forever be wary of your capacities. You become someone to be feared. #Letr2Jack
36. There are some things in life that once they’re lost they can never be regained. #Letr2Jack
37. We can give excuses for doing evil to our friend. We can even tell others we’re trying to help our friend, when indeed we know we’re seeking to hurt him or her. #Letr2Jack
38. Conscience is supposed to help us avoid doing injurious things to our neighbour. There’s a reason we have conscience. It won’t let us rest when we’re doing evil. #Letr2Jack
39. Even after the deed conscience continues to cry, plaintively, reminding us we violated something sacred and need to make amend. #Letr2Jack
40. The only way to shut up conscience is to scar it. Conscience is like an organ made of flesh. It can be scarred to reduce sensitivity. People anesthetise conscience. #Letr2Jack
41. When we scar our conscience however, deadening its feelings, we have no feedback mechanism again. We become unaware. A man without feedback mechanism is in trouble. #Letr2Jack
42. For every violation of trust there’s a price to pay. People like Judas paid the extreme price. Never plan evil against your neighbour, never do evil against your neighbour. He’s trusting you. #Letr2Jack
43. Why am I saying all these to you? The reason is simple. When you’re a man of character your woman can trust you more. You become a great prospect. #Letr2Jack
44. Women want a man with character, a dependable and trustworthy guy. They want rock solid guys. #Letr2Jack
45. When you have solid character your woman can quietly boast about you in her heart. You will be trusted, because your character stands for you. #Letr2Jack
46. The ultimate act of trust is marriage. We never realise it but when you marry you’re essentially committing your life to someone. You’re committing your heart. That’s a lot of trust. #Letr2Jack
47. The question you need to ask yourself is, what kind of man do you want to become? That’s a question only you can answer. #Letr2Jack
48. But we’ll never really know until you commit to that answer. #Letr2Jack
49. Your mentor, LA. #Letr2Jack
51. For related letters, search for TRUE FRIENDSHIP, SIMPLE TRUST and TRUE FRIENDS at jacknjillive.com. #Letr2Jack
52. © Leke Alder | talk2me@lekealder.com. #Letr2Jack
