1. Dear Jack, yes, I saw the video you sent. #Letr2Jack
2. If you know anything about marriage or life that video has to be very troubling. I hope the bride didn’t mean that marriage vow, that she was just joking. She had substituted “For richer, for richer” for “For richer, for poorer.” #Letr2Jack
3. Just so I wasn’t mistaken I showed the video to other people, wanting their opinion. The conclusion was unanimous – she’s in it for the money, if there’s no money she’s out! #Letr2Jack
4. I thought she was making a confession of faith like some Pentecostals do, you know, refusing to “confess” poverty into her marriage, making faith affirmations. The setting looked like a Pentecostal church. I hope to God I’m right. #Letr2Jack
5. But just in case I’m wrong and everyone else is right that guy just signed the kind of contract no young man should ever sign. #Letr2Jack
6. The reality of life is that there will be ups and downs. There’ll be plenty and there will be inadequacy. Is that marriage only feasible if there’s money? What happens in lean periods, when there’s little money? #Letr2Jack
7. Though in fairness to her she was very clear about her stand: this marriage is money-defined and money oriented, you don’t produce dough I’m out of here. #Letr2Jack
8. The whole thing seems a like joke, but just in case it’s not a joke perhaps the young man should just have walked out from that ceremony. If you think that’s extreme you have no idea about the capacity of marriage to define destiny. #Letr2Jack
9. However, if she had been making her stand known all through courtship then that young man can’t feign ignorance about the woman he’s hitching himself to. #Letr2Jack
10. He’s going to pay a heavy price down the line. Ten years into that marriage he’s going to have serious regrets if she maintains that philosophy. And we’re assuming the marriage will last that long. #Letr2Jack
11. She’s clearly telling him she wants a Kardashian lifestyle. I hope he has Kanye’s money. Can he afford her? And I don’t just mean financially. #Letr2Jack
12. I saw the audience roar with laughter when she said, “For richer, for richer.” It’s not going to be funny down the line. There will be no emotional correspondence on the issue of money. #Letr2Jack
13. This marriage thing is deeper than many young men realize. Marriage is not something you trivialize. Marriage is incredibly powerful. #Letr2Jack
14. Marriage will determine your mental health and emotional wellbeing. It will determine whether you know peace or suffer depression. The opposite of peace in marriage is depression. #Letr2Jack
15. Of course that’s not what the dictionary says but I can assure you that’s the reality of life. Marriage has its own dictionary. It doesn’t use normal dictionary. #Letr2Jack
16. “I do” is not marriage. That’s just the wedding. The marriage is the relationship, the oneness of heart. No oneness, no marriage. #Letr2Jack
17. You must be so identified with your spouse you’re practically one. One heart, two minds. The two minds give the advantage of different perspectives to an issue but the hearts must beat as one. #Letr2Jack
18. Oneness is so important, and it’s so powerful. But you can’t achieve oneness without vulnerability and nakedness. Marriage demands you strip naked, literally and literarily. #Letr2Jack
19. Your heart must be naked in marriage. I’m talking honesty and sincerity of purpose. Marriage is not some scheme. #Letr2Jack
20. Marriage joins two parties into a cohesive purposefulness. It’s a place of power. With that oneness you can take on the entire world, take on extend family members, take on in-laws, take on life. #Letr2Jack
21. There’s just something about knowing your partner is there for you, in everything, knowing your partner is so invested in you your lives are practically one. #Letr2Jack
22. But if your partner is going to stop supporting you when things are tough then what you have is a special purpose entity not a marriage partner. She’s only there for good times. #Letr2Jack
23. When things are tough you need that one person who’s constantly believed in you. At least you know you have someone in your corner. She’ll do everything she can to help you out. #Letr2Jack
24. As a man you want someone watching out for you, like a hawk or mother hen… Someone who believes in you, so much she’s staked all her eggs. There’s no other future. #Letr2Jack
25. Marriage requires 100% commitment. You can’t have conditional commitment. That’s not commitment. It’s not marriage either. #Letr2Jack
26. When someone truly loves you, you know it in your heart. If you get carried away with mere beauty you’ll soon realize it’s indeed skin deep. When the fights begin and the insults ensue you’ll know. #Letr2Jack
27. The trauma of a bad marriage can be very enduring. It often continues long after the marriage is over. Someone I know had nightmares for ten years after divorce. Till now he can’t sleep with the lights off. #Letr2Jack
28. Be sure of the values of the person you’re marrying. At the end of the day it boils down to values and character. #Letr2Jack
29. And so I do hope I’m right concerning that video - that it’s a confession of faith, and that every other interpretation is wrong. For the young man’s sake I hope it was all a joke. #Letr2Jack
30. Your mentor, LA. #Letr2Jack
31. For related letters, search for DANFO GIRLFRIEND and RUSHED CONSIDERATIONS at jacknjillive.com. #Letr2Jack
32. *Please don’t leave without clicking the SHARE button below. #Letr2Jack
33. © Leke Alder | talk2me@lekealder.com. #Letr2Jack
