Though for most of JURASSIC WORLD: FALLEN KINGDOM my opinion was that it's the worst in the series (Hey, I like JP3!), I still found it watchable. But something happens toward the end that made me say, "I hate this movie," and it never pulled me back in.
If you thought THE LOST WORLD leaving the island was a mistake, wait till you see this!
Half of JURASSIC WORLD: FALLEN KINGDOM takes place in a mansion (?!), like some bizarre CLUE tie-in brought to life. "It was the velociraptor in the conservatory with the candlestick…er…dino bones."
Everything that made JURASSIC WORLD fun and exciting has been tossed out and replaced by this dark, mean-spirited mess. A heartbreaking moment of one of JP's most iconic dinosaurs crying for help as it's enveloped by lava encapsulates the dour tone of this train wreck.
The villains are so over-the-top evil and stupid that even when they get their inevitable comeuppance, I felt no pleasure in it.
If the director hadn't purchased a copy of Spielberg for Dummies I doubt he'd have been able to put a single shot together. This movie borrows so many shots from earlier films it borders on plagiarism.
At a certain point it stops being homage and becomes a reminder just how inferior the current dreck you are sitting through is.
Jeff Goldblum's return to the franchise is a wasted opportunity, a mere cameo of him testifying at a hearing briefly at the beginning and end of the film. With his thick beard he looks more like Maximilian Schell from THE BLACK HOLE than Ian Malcolm.
And enough with the raptor-ex-machina. Owen couldn't survive any of these movies if not for his blue-striped girlfriend.
I don't know which is the biggest howler: that in a mansion so large it would give Bruce Wayne house-envy Owen just happens to pick the right door to bust through and save the day, or that Blue follows close behind to save HIM.
JW2 is too dark, mean-spirited, and derivative. If JURASSIC WORLD was JURASSIC PARK's Greatest Hits, FALLEN KINGDOM is all b-side covers. You know you're going to go see it anyway, but don't say you haven't been warned.
JURASSIC WORLD: FALLEN KINGDOM C-. 4/10.
JURASSIC WORLD: FALLEN KINGDOM C-. 4/10.
