used to think i hated living in the city but it turns out i just hate living somewhere without the chance to escape when I need to

then, it was the sheer distance to my car. now, it's my timing belt, due in 1200 miles, and me having no money for gas. trapped in a beautiful place
used to be my car was a 2.5 hour bus ride away
now it's right here and I can't afford to drive it any more than the 200 miles one day a week to a job that barely pays my bills

and when I do take up a full-time position, I won't be able to get away for more than a weekend.
at least once i do that i'll be trapped in a place where i'm able to afford a real bed to be miserable in

projecting into the future and watching my artistic practice die because I'm too goddamn tired to do it
i should make more art, it might change my mind on things
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