Thread by @ASLuhn

Skripal suspect interview even more groan-inducing than I expected:
Petrov: Yeah that's us. Our friends had been suggesting for a long time that we visit this wonderful town
Boshirov: There's the famous Salisbury cathedral … it's famous for its 132m spire

Alleged Skripal assassins "Alexander Petrov" and "Ruslan Boshirov" are actually telling RT that they came to the UK because their friends told them to see the "famous Salisbury cathedral"

Coming next, "Petrov" and "Boshirov" will tell us how the allegations they poisoned Skripal "ruined their lives," RT says. They were just innocent sightseers, fans of English cathedral architecture!

I think this may close the debate over GRU professionalism: The alleged Skripal hitmen's alibi is literally that they came to see the "famous Salisbury cathedral"

More of the cover story emerges: Petrov and Boshirov are businessmen "sports nutrition" and were going to Europe so often for that

The UK police have it all wrong, Boshirov and Petrov say: They are simple salesman of sports nutrition supplements who came to Salisbury to see its cathedral and ancient clock!

The English snow was too much for Russians Boshirov and Petrov: They went to Salisbury and wanted to see Stonehenge, but got wet within half an hour and went back to London, they claim

Boshirov: "I hadn't heard this surname (Skripal), I didn't know anything about them before this situation, this nightmare with us started"
Come on, after months of state propaganda just about everyone in Russia has heard the name Skripal ...

Yep, that just about closes the case:
Boshirov: Isn't it silly for a normal man to carry women's perfume?

In 25 minutes, RT didn't manage to ask Boshirov and Petrov why traces of Novichok were found in their hotel room, why there's no evidence of their backstory & why they went toward Skripal's house on the day of the poisoning, rather than the Cathedral they'd supposedly come to see

Almost sweet to see Boshirov & Petrov helping each other with their flimsy backstory:
Petrov: The boots (in the pic), you bought them on Oxford Street if I'm not mistaken
Boshirov: On the 3rd, actually
Petrov: When we got wet on the 3rd
Boshirov: On the 3rd we got wet & went back

Directions to the Salisbury cathedral, according to Boshirov & Petrov

"It turns out the British were lying!": Not surprising to see the Russian state media machine pushing the Boshirov & Petrov interview, but still incredible given just how cringeworthy their "we went to see the famous cathedral" defense was

How could the Boshirov-Petrov interview be so bad it made the Litvinenko denials look practically airtight? Almost seems like Moscow just wants to taunt London. And brag a bit