*Dispatches from Operation Faithful Patriot*
[Day 1]
"Dearest mother, I have arrived at the border. Solitude and dirt surround us. The men are in high spirits. We have been told our deployment will be short. I dug a trench today. I saw a lizard. Will write again soon."
[Day 1]
"Dearest mother, I have arrived at the border. Solitude and dirt surround us. The men are in high spirits. We have been told our deployment will be short. I dug a trench today. I saw a lizard. Will write again soon."
[Day 9]
"Dearest mother,
It's been over a week. We haven't seen a single migrant. We set up C-wire. I dug a second trench behind the first trench in case we get overrun. It's lonely here. My battle buddy keeping singing 'All my exes live in Texas' over and over. I miss home."
"Dearest mother,
It's been over a week. We haven't seen a single migrant. We set up C-wire. I dug a second trench behind the first trench in case we get overrun. It's lonely here. My battle buddy keeping singing 'All my exes live in Texas' over and over. I miss home."
[Day 16]
"Dearest mother,
I think it's been two weeks. It's hard to tell. Time has no meaning here on the border. I've dug three more trenches. I've started pooping in the first one bc I forgot where the porta John is. I killed a gopher. My first kill. Felt good. Send smokes."
"Dearest mother,
I think it's been two weeks. It's hard to tell. Time has no meaning here on the border. I've dug three more trenches. I've started pooping in the first one bc I forgot where the porta John is. I killed a gopher. My first kill. Felt good. Send smokes."
[Day 31]
"Dearest mother,
Haven't seen the caravan yet. We expect it any day now. The officers say they're almost upon us. I've dug 14 trenches. The first three have poop in them. The fourth one is filled with Burger King wrappers. I hope this ends soon. The men are restless."
"Dearest mother,
Haven't seen the caravan yet. We expect it any day now. The officers say they're almost upon us. I've dug 14 trenches. The first three have poop in them. The fourth one is filled with Burger King wrappers. I hope this ends soon. The men are restless."
[Day 50]
"Mom,
I can't take this much longer. We've dug so many trenches they've come up to the Wal-Mart parking lot. I'm sorry I missed Thanksgiving, but you know how important this mission is. Can you buy me new pants? I've gained 20 pounds from eating so much BK."
"Mom,
I can't take this much longer. We've dug so many trenches they've come up to the Wal-Mart parking lot. I'm sorry I missed Thanksgiving, but you know how important this mission is. Can you buy me new pants? I've gained 20 pounds from eating so much BK."
[Day 63]
"Ma,
We had our first deserter a few days ago. Doug ran off last week. We found him in the garden section of Wal-Mart the next day. He was eating the perennial bulbs. I won't lie to you, morale is low. On the bright side, we filled in 5 trenches and re-dug them."
"Ma,
We had our first deserter a few days ago. Doug ran off last week. We found him in the garden section of Wal-Mart the next day. He was eating the perennial bulbs. I won't lie to you, morale is low. On the bright side, we filled in 5 trenches and re-dug them."
[Day 89]
"Mommy,
I wanna come home. It's hell out here. The Wi-Fi shut off. The Burger King ran out of chicken fries and I can no longer fit in my uniform. I'm wearing a bathrobe I bought at the Bed Bath & Beyond down the street. I don't know why we're here anymore."
"Mommy,
I wanna come home. It's hell out here. The Wi-Fi shut off. The Burger King ran out of chicken fries and I can no longer fit in my uniform. I'm wearing a bathrobe I bought at the Bed Bath & Beyond down the street. I don't know why we're here anymore."
[Day 125]
"Mem,
I kant due this no mor. I stare @ dirt all day wating fur a dangerus cavaran to appoch. My e tool broke and I kant dig mor trenchs. I pooped in my helmet today. Are they saying we'll be comin home soon? Nobode tells me anething. I hate Texes."
"Mem,
I kant due this no mor. I stare @ dirt all day wating fur a dangerus cavaran to appoch. My e tool broke and I kant dig mor trenchs. I pooped in my helmet today. Are they saying we'll be comin home soon? Nobode tells me anething. I hate Texes."
[Day 199]
"...poop. poop. poopie. doop. doop. doopie. i ate a cactus."
"...poop. poop. poopie. doop. doop. doopie. i ate a cactus."
[Day 365]
"🦐🥔🎳🖼🔬"
"🦐🥔🎳🖼🔬"
