Sunday Gist:
I like being called a Pastor b'cos of the appellation, "Pastor Dave;" but I'm not one. In the recent past, i re-established contact with a fellow i met in my NYSC year. We both shared dreams of becoming pastors. He calls me pastor and i didn't bother to correct him.
I like being called a Pastor b'cos of the appellation, "Pastor Dave;" but I'm not one. In the recent past, i re-established contact with a fellow i met in my NYSC year. We both shared dreams of becoming pastors. He calls me pastor and i didn't bother to correct him.
One Sunday, he called me as i was about leaving home with my family for church, begging i needed to follow him to see a lady she's pastoring that's ill. I asked my wife to continue with the kids, that I'll join them later. Off i went. I debriefed the pastor for more information.
The lady is single and strikingly beautiful. I was already reviewing in my head, list of all my eligible friends. One particular person here on twitter came to mind. We got to her apartment and was barely seated before i noticed her strange behaviour. Something is amiss.
"Pastor, i thought u wont come," she said, laughing sheepishly. Before i was introduced, she jumped at me, "are u single?" I replied, "i am married," already sensing trouble. She insisted, "but u look single?" I repeated, "i am not." She asked again, "when are u getting married?"
Without any courtesy she disappeared through a door. I equally noticed she locked the door to her apartment and left with the key. I became terribly apprehensive when i got further briefing about the nature of her illness. I had to open up i am not a pastor, that i need to leave.
Suddenly, this lady returned in her birthday suit, carrying cream. Sat and began to cream her fully naked body in our presence. She said to d pastor, "your friend look afraid." A volcano erupted in my brain. I got up and began tugging d door handle as if it will open by miracle.
When she left again, i vented, "can u please persuade her to open d door?" By this time my phone was burning from repeated calls from my wife. When i eventually answered, i told her i am coming. "Where are you?" I couldn't say. Where are you? Woman! I said "i am coming!" Aghhhh!!
If i told her, the thunder that will strike this lady's door is the type that has six pack. The pastor was equally asking me to calm down, that things may get out of hand if i continue to be brash. From no where, this lady emerged already dressed, with a bible in her hand.
I have never longed for fresh air as much as i craved it when we got outside. I had to drop them in their church. All through the journey she was asking the pastor repeatedly, "Pastor, will i find a husband in church today?" "Pastor, can't this your friend marry me?"
You can borrow money, but not sanity. After life, the greatest gift God has given us that we take for granted is good mental health. There are conditions worse than whatever you may be going through. A sound mind is an invaluable asset. May God be with you. Happy Sunday!
