Thread by @Chellodello

OK OK incoming best idea:
Muppet Les Miserables
Hugh Jackman is still Valjean but the rest of the cast are The Muppets.
I will accept no feedback this idea is already fully formed and perfect.

Ok OK so the framing device is similar to Muppet Christmas Carol; the story is being narrated by the author Victor and Hugo played by Waldorf and Statler

And yes it's still a musical

Valjean is just finishing up his prison term and going on parole; when he is antagonized by our Javier, Sam the Eagle.

Being an ex-con sucks and he is forced to steal the nice silver from a church and is caught but the kindly bishop played by Uncle Deadly let’s him go and encourages him to be a good person.

Valjean starts a new life as the mayor of a town that has prospered under his care. Eventually Sam/Javert is assigned to his town and wants to be his BFF which is :/ . Meanwhile in one of his factory workers Fantine, played by Janice is fired for lying about having a kid

Valjean is too distracted trying to spur javerta friendship overtures to fix this wrong. Janice becomes a fallen woman and entrusts her daughter Cosette(Camilla the chicken) to an innkeeper and his wife (Rizzo and Yolanda the rats)

During this time Sam/Javert suspects the major is valjean because of his ripple pecs until the Swedish chef is arrested and assumed to be valjean.

Valjean has a crisis over this and sings an original song Man or Muppet which is just an inverted version of the same song from the movie. He decides to come clean and confess he is a man not a muppet and frees the Swedish chef. Javert is not pleased.

Valjean swings by to help fantine and promises to take care of her child as atonement. He takes Camila/Cosette from the thenadiers and disappears under Javerts nose. He still sings the song from the carriage from the movie b/c I want Hugh jackman to sing earnestly to a chicken

PARIS 1832
We open part two as the all muppet cast reprises Look Down and are introduced to our Amis having a rally. The leader is a passion young Enjolras who is fighting to free France of the monarchy. He is played by none other than Kermit the frog.

At his right and left hand are Walter and Dr Honeydew, combferre and coufeyrac respectively. Our Marius, Gonzo, is distracted by a grown up Cosette who is in the area with her father. This is less than exciting for Eponine played by Miss Piggy.

Valjean comes across the Rats and they cause a commotion, which draws the attention of Sam who immediately assumes the gentleman who fled was valjean. Cue ‘in my life’ sung by a chicken.

Gonzo is head over heels in love and gets bitched out by Kermit for not being focused on the revolution. But our Marius is egged on by Grantaire played by fozzie bear. I don’t know how to work it in but I want it known that bahorel is played by Animal and Jehan is Pepe the prawn

Gonzo reunites with Camila and Miss Piggy sings a very aggressive variation of ‘on my own.’ Meanwhile valjean vows to leave the county as Javert is on to him and beaker, gavroche, lets the amis know that Lemarc is dead. They plan their barricade. Cue ‘One day more’

Javert infiltrates the amis and tries to sabotage it. Miss piggy is dramatically dies delivering a note to gonzo. Valjean joins to creep on his daughters bf. he sings ‘bring him home but none of the muppets are asleep and are making fun of the song.

Beaker is shot and the barricade is p much doomed. Kermit boops Sam with the gun and lets valjean deal with him. He lets him go and this short circuits Sams mind

The barricade falls and I don’t want a tasteful cut away, I want full on muppet on muppet violence. I want to see muppet bodies laying in piles of stuff and felt blood. Tears will be shed when Kermit and fozzie die holding hands.

Valjean drags gonzo through the swears and confronts first rizzo then Javert. WE KEEP THE MAD AWKWARD CARRIGE RIDE IT IS MY ONE UNBUDGABLE REQUIREMENT FOR THIS MOVIE. I want Sam the eagle to be equal parts furious and attracted to a shit covered Hugh jackman.

Sam eventually let valjean go and we have our Stars reprise. Victor and Hugo heckle his diving skills when he jumps off the bridge.

Valjean briga Marius home to Cosette and decides to go die alone. The thenadiers try to crash the wedding (rats at the feast) and the newly married couple rush to valjeans death bed to say thank you and goodbye.

Janice and Uncle Deadly escort him to the afterlife which is a barricade full of muppets singing do you hear the muppets sing. He reunites with Javert because I said so. They adopt Gladys the cow.

THE END.

I'LL ACCEPT MY TONY ANY DAY NOW.