Thread by @eriktorenberg

1/ NVC is a process language. When we say anything about ourselves like, “I am a _____,” it’s static thinking; it puts us in a box and leads to self-fulfilling prophecies.

2/ Labels and Judgements imply comparisons, simple problems, final solutions.

Real world consists of process, relationships, growths, complexity

3/ As such, NVC strays away from using the verb “to be”. In NVC; you don’t say, “This person is lazy,” “This person is normal,” “This person is right.” In NVC, there’s no such thing as normal, abnormal, right, wrong, good, or bad.

4/ NVC believes that this is a product of language that traditionally has trained people to live under a king. If you want to train people to be docile to a higher authority…

5/ or to fit into hierarchical structures in a subservient way, it is very important to get people thinking what is “right,” what is “normal,” what is “appropriate,” and to give that power to an authority at the top who defines what those are.

6/ When people are raised in that culture, they have this tragic trick played on them. When they are hurting the most and needing the most, they don’t know how to express it except by calling other people names.

7/ writes that violence — whether we are talking about verbal, psychological, or physical violence between husband and wife, parents and children, or nations — at its base is people not knowing how to get in touch with what is inside.

8/ Instead, they are taught a language that indicates that there are villains out there, bad guys out there, who are causing the problem. Then you have a country where even the leader will say of another country, “They’re the evil empire.”

9/ And then the leaders of the other country will say back, “These are imperialist oppressors,” instead of seeing and revealing the pain, fear, and unmet needs behind the other’s words.”