Thread by @RonJeffries

Things have transpired in my life to bring me to talk this morning about framing, the view we have of the things in the world that affect us. Usually, our experience gives us what seems like a pretty solid view of things:

As we talk about our view of this rather obvious square with the yellow glow around it, some idiot comes along with an entirely different and stupid view:

This fool tells us there's a way of seeing the thing as round, and with a red glow. That's not just wrong, it is insulting to us personally, and to all of us under-represented square viewers. This person is a shapeist: he's denying our legitimacy!

We are justly outraged.

We're dead certain that our view is correct, and that we're being put down for our beliefs in the square. He seems to be calling us closed minded, or asking us to give up our understanding of reality.

But sometimes, rarely, we manage to look at the round thing, and he looks at the square thing, and we can begin to see, not that the thing /is/ the other shape, but how someone could at least think that it was. Rarely, we start to communicate, share, and learn.

And even more rarely, we discover something entirely new, and that things are much more rich, complex, and wonderful than either of us ever knew. This, my friend, is framing:

My frame isn't right. Your frame isn't right. All frames are partly right, partly wrong. In some cases, there isn't even any right and wrong at all, just different paths through life, seeing truly different things, fitting them into the patterns we build.

My frames sort of work for me, and I hope yours sort of work for you. When I see someone who seems to me to be an idiot or a fool, I try hard to figure out what they see that could make them think their position is reasonable.

I try hard not to conclude right off that they are evil, and I try not even to conclude that what they said or did is evil. The thing they said or did might, however, have bad consequences that they didn't see.

Because I see the thing as square, I'm pretty sure I could stand safely on top of it. You see that it is a round ball, and you're pretty sure I'd fall right off. The truth is probably somewhere in between.

Maybe if we didn't assume that our frame is right and the other person's wrong, that our frame good and the other person's bad, that we're good and the other person is bad ...

Maybe we could see some common issues that we agree upon, and find some approaches that we could both use to make the world a better place for all of us.

No, that's obviously bullshit. There's only one right frame, only one right way, only one right party, only one right person.

That's one thing we can all be sure of.