Profile picture
David Burge
@iowahawkblog
, 13 tweets, 3 min read Read on Twitter
Legit this is the funniest thing I've ever read
Always enjoy an excluse to post one of my old Midwestern Gorillas in the Mist bits, like "Heart of Redness"
iowahawk.typepad.com/iowahawk/2005/…
or "Is This Hell? No, It's Iowa"
iowahawk.typepad.com/iowahawk/2011/…
Iowa should change its state motto to "Monotonously Terrifying"
"dirt roads"?
"blocks?"
Next time I go to New York I'm going to try to describe some of them thar cee-ment people barns
OMG I feel like Neil Armstrong #OneSmallStepForMan
I guess being called "extremely well-informed" is a compliment, but it's sorta like being told you're very handsome by the Elephant Man
"A native of Elizabeth, New Jersey, Sally now lives in Brooklyn. She has a bachelor’s degree in Journalism from Rutgers University." politico.com/states/new-yor…

Sorry your stay was unsatisfactory ma'am, next time we'll be sure to spray everything down with 100 million gallons of hobo piss
HERE THERE BE MONSTERS
Politico editor: we're not going to be caught by surprise again like in 2016, let's send our top Brooklyn cat lady to find out what's going on out there
Roll up your windows when you drive through our hood, yo

I've been everywhere man
I've been everywhere man

I've been to Jersey City Elizabeth City
Brooklyn Downtown Staten Island Midtown
East Village Staten Island West Village Long Island
Brunswick Bushwick Yonkers Bronx sir

I've been everywhere
Missing some Tweet in this thread?
You can try to force a refresh.

Like this thread? Get email updates or save it to PDF!

Subscribe to David Burge
Profile picture

Get real-time email alerts when new unrolls are available from this author!

This content may be removed anytime!

Twitter may remove this content at anytime, convert it as a PDF, save and print for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video

1) Follow Thread Reader App on Twitter so you can easily mention us!

2) Go to a Twitter thread (series of Tweets by the same owner) and mention us with a keyword "unroll" @threadreaderapp unroll

You can practice here first or read more on our help page!

Related hashtags

#OneSmallStepForMan

More from @iowahawkblog see all

Profile picture
David Burge
@iowahawkblog
Here's a challenge: best small cities in America. No suburbs, I mean stand-alone towns with a population less than 50,000. I'd nominate Columbus, Indiana, an amazing jewel of a small city.

Some great isolated towns <20k people:
Fredericksburg TX
Brenham TX
Decorah IA

And towns < 5k people:

New Glarus WI
Elkhart Lake WI
Wimberly TX
I would have cited Palm Springs CA (pop. 48,000), but it's too much of a tourism/resort town and adjacent to other places to qualify
Read 3 tweets
Profile picture
David Burge
@iowahawkblog
tfw your doctoral dissertation gets peer reviewed live
At the expense of aging myself, that's some straight up Rosanne Rosanna Danna shit right there
I just got peer reviewed that this is Emily Litella, not Rosanne Rosanna Danna. I regret the error and will revise my thesis accordingly
Read 4 tweets
Profile picture
David Burge
@iowahawkblog
Look kid, lots of people have a dream of becoming a gangster, but I'm afraid you just don't have what it takes to make it in the pros
nypost.com/2019/05/22/man…
Classic case of a big heart but not enough talent. Luckily he's young enough to go back to school and pursue a career in politics or media
*Balloon of weed falls out of his butt*

Sheriff: you realize marijuana is legal in Washington, right?
Read 3 tweets

Related threads

Profile picture
CSM
@usacsmret
Post Office Banking Is Another Crappy Socialist Idea That Already Failed thefederalist.com/2019/05/15/pos…
Karl Marx and Vladimir Lenin wrote about doing things that had never been tried before.Unfortunately, people eventually tried them. Socialists in the 21st century have an advantage their predecessors lacked: they can learn from the past and see which of these policies failed.
Those who accuse conservatives of an unreasonable attachment to tradition and history now harken to a mythic past and blind themselves to the many holes in their socialist story. Their movement has not had a new idea in a century.
Read 16 tweets
Profile picture
Kivan Beans
@KivaBay
did... did a dog write this comment? screenshot of an article with an adorable cat picture: Scientists Talked to Cats to Figure Out If They Know Their Own Names by George Dvorsky Today 9:00 am filed to ANIMAL BEHAVIORcomment by lethal peanut 4/04/19 9:09 AM, text of comment too long for img description, transcribed here: https://pastebin.com/m3MQhmPC
peanut's comment too long for image description, text here: pastebin.com/m3MQhmPC
To be clear, this is the funniest thing I've ever read
Read 9 tweets
Profile picture
Shamrock_007
@Shamrock00769
Funniest thing about the cabal and their politician/Hollywood/Music/Media puppets.

Cabal gave orders to hate Trump or they'll take away their 💰.

What they didn't realize...

No one left in DOJ/FBI/CIA to look the other way and protect them from their crimes.
You can follow your bosses orders until the end. But can you avoid prison? Cabal/Elite look out for themselves at the end of the day. Not the pawns and middle management. They're replaceable.

thewashingtonpundit.com/2019/02/06/rob…
seattletimes.com/nation-world/n…
Read 20 tweets
Profile picture
Piyush Katariya
@AhamPiyush
#OSHO

Don’t #accumulate anything whatever: #power, #money, #prestige, #virtue, #knowledge, even the so-called #spiritual experiences. Don’t accumulate.

It doesn’t mean become a #beggar or #renounce the world. Be in the #world, but don’t be of the world.
If you don’t accumulate you are ready to #die any moment because you have nothing to #lose. The #mediation is living #death.

Don’t accumulate inside, be poor in #spirit. Never #possess anything and then you are ready to #die.
The more you #possess, the more you are afraid to lose. If you don’t possess anything, if your #purity, if your #spirit is uncontaminated by anything, if you are simply there #alone, you can disappear any moment; whenever #death knocks on the door it will find you ready.
Read 7 tweets
Profile picture
Orin Kerr
@OrinKerr
This is probably just law professor nerdery, but if Presidents get to push for a Supreme Court nominee based on where the nominee went to law school, it seems only fair to also release the nominee's transcript.
As far as I know, we have only one Justice's transcript: Kagan's, with an "issued to student" stamped on it.
legalblogwatch.typepad.com/legal_blog_wat…
We also know the public honors at graduation for the Harvard grads. Roberts, Kagan, & Breyer graduated "magna cum laude," which I think varied at the time but was sorta the top 10 or 15% of the class. Justice Gorsuch graduated "cum laude," the next level.
Read 4 tweets
Profile picture
'The Wizard'
@oscarewilde
sometimes i wonder how i could ever relate to a 17th century diarist then i remember that Samuel Pepys spent hours digging a hole in his garden and buried his wine and cheese so they wouldn’t burn in the great fire of london, not giving a solitary fuck for his own personal safety
Big Mood: Julius Caesar, renowned dick, captured by cicilian pirates and insulted by the low ransom they placed on his safe return (20 talents), volunteered to pay 50 talents himself because he felt he was worth it.
the Western Schism resulted in there being three popes at the same time who all hated each other and this lasted for 50 years because all three popes ex-communicated the others and refused to talk to them.
Read 16 tweets

Trending hashtags

#BradyaBunch #MoveToPasco #VIDEO #GUESS #REDDIT #floridamanchallenge #OMITTED #COLDCASE #me #alone #TaxScam #TRANSFERENCE #old #REPLY #money #patterns #ILLEGALLY #6thJudicalCircuit #WhyHideHundredsofCalls #proveit #PaulMcCartney #moment #spiritual #Selfie #LivePDNation
Follow Us on Twitter!

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!

This site is made by just three indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3.00/month or $30.00/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Too expensive? Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal Become our Patreon

Thank you for your support!