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Here are the seven things that I think Bob Mueller was trying to say this morning.
(1) Please read my report, because it documents matters of paramount importance, including multiple, systematic efforts to interfere in our election and obstruction of the investigation into this election interference.
(2) Please read my report, because election interference deserves the attention of every American and when a subject of an investigation obstructs or lies to investigators, it strikes at the core of the government’s effort to find the truth and hold wrongdoers accountable.
(3) Please read my report because it explains why we couldn't charge POTUS with a crime, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t obstruct justice, and as I say in the report (read it!) if we had confidence that POTUS clearly didn't commit a crime we would have said that but we didn’t.
(4) Beyond that, please stop fussing about the legal niceties and just read my report. Seriously, please read the report because the facts described there are really important and should inform whatever comes next, which is up to you all.
(5) Please read my report because because it says everything I have to say on this topic and I have nothing more to say beyond what is in the report.
(6) Please read my report rather than subpoenaing me to testify, because if you do I am just going to read the report as my answer to every question and I will do so in a halting monotone maybe without even making eye contact, so why don’t you just read it yourselves, without me.
(7) In case I haven’t made it clear, I am saying you should read my report. Then do whatever you think you need to do. So, in conclusion, read the report. Have a nice day.
