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I want to say more about Father’s Day and families. One of the things that happens if you have family troubles that you find out... other people don’t really want to hear them. They mean well and are generous... but it’s just not pleasant. So you learn to keep quiet.
I have friends I no longer see much of because I wore out their patience. And I don’t blame them. I was a downer.
And then there’s the Facebook Problem. Facebook (and all social media) is a constant flood of Perfect Families. If you don’t have one, you feel defective. As if you are a unique and terrible failure.
But. Those of us who deal with such things can tell when others do too. We’re like closeted gays in the 50s. We have radar. We see each other. We sometimes just can share a nod. It helps.
So: on this Father’s Day, and on Mother’s Day, and Christmas, and every day... look around. See the people who don’t post the pics, don’t tell the stories, who reply with “Fine” when you ask about their kids or marriage.
To all of you fellow failures: you are not alone, you are not a freak. We get up and we go on and we do the best we can, and in that, we are perfectly normal.
