Thread by @MrBure

During my dad's funeral, I heard that my aunts were talking about my mum's hair and the cutting thereof. They were saying something along the lines of, "If she refuses to cut it herself, we will come and cut it for her."
Now, in the lead up to the funeral, I somehow became seen

as the "reasonable" one amongst my siblings, so they tended to pass their most ridiculous requests to me instead of my brothers. And maybe I helped create that situation because I'd always listen and then say I'd see what could be done.

One time, an uncle came to me and asked for the keys to the house in the village on account of my dad promising him he'd always have a room there. I listened, and then told him I couldn't give him the keys because we had people coming from all over for the funeral and we needed

all the room we could spare. You know, reasonable like. I could have told him to geddifok out of my face with that nonsense, but Actor always said that people could call him stubborn, but nobody could ever say he was rude, and so I tried not to be rude.

Anyway, here I am now, and they're talking about forcibly shaving my mother's hair. So, I turned to their emissary and calmly said, "Go and tell them two things: 1) Our grandfather's house isn't far from here; and 2) It's a good thing we're already in the mood for burials."

Maybe it was the look in my eye, maybe it was that I didn't raise my voice when I said it, but the fellow scrambled off like a thousand demons were after him. I never heard talk about my mother's hair again after that, and the uncles and aunts began giving me a very wide berth

I went to my mum to ask her if anyone had talked about her hair and before I could ask, she hugged me and said, "They didn't know I brought my egbe wagers with me." And then she laughed, and I laughed too because my own mum had just basically called me a tout.

I was so proud. 😁